USA should toss this series into the clinker. [23 Jul 2000]

Even Bravo has too much class for this four-hour misery. ... Holmes and Donahue share some affecting moments, but the miniseries has no imagination and re-creates tabloid snapshots.

The lack of suspense and originality is depressing.

With the possible exception of Barnett, not one of the cast is remotely convincing or appealing in their parts. The helicopter action is neither impressive nor especially authentic looking.

Looks more like a tired old episode of "Wagon Train." [1 Jan 1998]

Here’s the kind of firm even “Boston Legal’s” Denny Crane would have the sense to close down. And I don’t think I’ve ever sat through so many penis jokes in the 8 p.m. hour.

These couples are just the sort you’d dodge at the office or at a party, so why you’d want to unwind with them on your TV is NBC’s headache. Truth Be Told: Not much fun here.

Its three-hour remake is poorly cast, badly choreographed and auto-tuned to an inch of its life, with a “La La Land”-inspired plot twist that is sure to make no one happy.

The show displays all the sophistication you might expect from a social media that limits its statements to 140 characters. Here's a tweet from me: This show is a piece of (bleep).

CW’s Labyrinth is quite possibly the worst miniseries ever made for TV.

I wanted to check out the moment Dorothy Gale was waterboarded.

"Watching Ellie" is a mess of cliches and lots of straining for chuckles. Louis-Dreyfus makes it look like a huge effort, which is all the more obvious because her Elaine on "Seinfeld" was seamlessly amusing. [15 Apr 2003]

To be fair, Last Resort does not insult ideology--it merely knocks your intelligence.

Marienthal is an energetic young actor, perhaps he'll find something more worthy of his talents after this dismal sitcom's inevitable cancellation. [2 Oct 2000, p.033]

There's nothing in this hour that will persuade any rational person.

The CGI stuff is cool; if only the acting were half as realistic.

It wants you to believe that Sheen is playing the most sane, vulnerable man in the world, yet he still comes off like a creep.

Kelley is known for cre­ating wonderfully mem­orable, sometimes deliriously neurotic characters. Judging from the writing here, it’s as if he’s been medicated into a stupor. Diagnosis: Waste of time.

Cross the Web with "Blair Witch" 's jittery camera and what do you get? A good reason to shut off your computer AND your TV. [6 Oct 2000, p.S32]

Wouldn't be funny even if you were stoned. [7 Aug 2005]

There’s comparatively little tension, action or dialogue in Mother, but there sure is a lot of girl-on-girl writhing.

Mitch just might be the stupidest attorney ever depicted on TV.

There are no characters to care about in Nip-Tuck. It seems their motivations are purely hollow. We love Tony Soprano - even when he cheats on his wife or whacks an enemy - because he reveals his own vulnerability and tragic flaws. But this Nip-Tuck bunch are vacant louts - "ER" meets "WWE SmackDown!" [22 July 2003, p.39]

Watching Those Who Can’t is like being stuck in Saturday detention. It feels like forever.

A tired, messy show that reflects its star, fashion PR and marketing maven Kelly Cutrone.

Shameless lives up to its title. What's left for the rest of the season? Cannibalism? Macy is a good sport about being dragged around the kitchen like dead weight.

Most of this show is stupid stoner humor. ... There aren’t enough drugs to find the funny in Disjointed.

Director Philip Kaufman's clumsy, bloated project--clocking in at a miserable two hours and 40 minutes--stars Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman in potentially career-mangling performances.