While it isn't as tacky as the MTV hit, it does wallow in uncomfortable moments in therapy and exposes people at their most vulnerable. These couples should have checked their love handles in private.

I’d ask for a script doctor, but it’s time to call the code and be done with it.

[Blunt Talk] is dull, depressing, charm-free, puerile and pointless. You’ll have more fun slapping yourself in the head with a spoon for a half-hour.

D'Elia sparks well off Cummings, but this show demonstrates her true talents lie offscreen.

The direction, at times, has a jerky feel. The dialogue is riddled with cliches.... But just when the whole miniseries, which Syfy is clearly hoping will become a regular series, is starting to feel mundane, there’s a last-minute twist that will demand your attention. It has the potential to make the series fascinating and much more than it originally seems.

O'Connell glides through the show on his smile. Belushi isn't as bad as one might expect, which, granted, isn't much of a compliment. He reins in the comic buffoonery, and if the scripts get better, he might prove to be up to a dramatic role.

Now this show plays like a cross between any generic CBS crime procedural and the network's "Bones." Human Target needs a course correction.

Whoever reads those stilted lines, it won't make a difference. These angels never take flight.

It's more closely a cross between "My Cousin Vinny" and "The Good Wife," with Janet Montgomery ("Entourage") a dull stand-in for Oscar winner Marisa Tomei.

Sharknado 2 doesn’t need any jokes about jumping the shark. It knows you’re going to make one and it beats you to it, literally.

The first two cases, involving a gang of murderous thieves and the death of a personal trainer, are ho-hum. McDonnell, a fine actress, finally has a chance to inject some dry wit into her stoic investigator.

Many of the jokes are non sequitur riffs that turn into endurance tests. The cast seems to be aware of it.

I didn't laugh much. I did, however, check my watch, still secure on my wrist, to determine when the show would be ending.

Despite the often eerie parallels to the Showtime thriller, ABC’s eight-part miniseries The Assets is based on fact. That does nothing to make it compelling.

Johnny is easily a Leary/Tommy Gavin stand-in, 
Theresa is Janet (Andrea Roth) with a badge, and Bigley could be Mike Silletti’s (Mike Lombardi) brother. Don’t bother with the alarm. When it comes to 
Sirens, you know this drill.

NBC is hoping to capture the same sort of audience moved by bathos and treacle [as those on "This is Us"]. This show has its moments.

Bob's Burgers arrives cold, with a touch of E. coli. Beware.

NBC's Animal Practice is a lot like ABC's "Grey's Anatomy," except it's furrier and it's a lot less funny.

The drama ultimately arrives at the destination you knew it would right from the opening moments. By trying to tell everyone’s story, “The Red Line” forgets to tell one good one.

Bates, who remains a recurring guest on the network's "The Office," brings heart and intelligence to a role that is not nearly so well-defined on the page, proof that casting can elevate any vehicle.

If you are curious about the show, tune into the last 10 minutes of the hour, and you’ll learn everything you need to know. Right now, Bitten is a nibble of a show.

Alfre Woodard isn’t given a lot to do as President Constance Payton in the premiere, but, unlike Heigl, she does have the gravitas for the role, and the show would be wise to use her more.

The Collection can be pretty to look at, but first impressions will not lead to second glances.

The courtroom scenes are among the least convincing scenes in the series.

[Sharon Stone's] character could be erased and the show wouldn’t miss a beat--heck, it might actually be better.... Hephner comes off as a cross between Kevin Costner and a “Just for Men” model and is adequate handling the light banter the scripts spoon out. This is a Sunday night show for people who find “The Walking Dead” too grim and “The Good Wife” too real.

Moves is mostly a leaping-high bromance, with the guys checking each other's egos.

Dying drops a killer set but doesn’t know how to close the room.

Those who worry about the teenager's well-being will find little comfort in this series.

Fashion Star is a skimpy little show. You might buy something in the evening, but beware those morning-after regrets.

Her tips could be found in the nearest public library. And stretched to an hour, Jobmother seems downright inflationary.

Why is she The Protector? Why didn't Lifetime call this series "The Protectors" and give Campbell-Martin and her character equal footing? As this show proves, some mysteries aren't worth solving.

Hawaii's pacing, dashes of humor and casting make this one worthy of an "aloha" - but that's a tentative hello.

With “Family Guy’s” Seth MacFarlane serving as an executive producer, you know what you are in for--rude and crude jokes.... What’s unexpected is how much Bordertown resembles “All in the Family.”

The show’s humor is more often graceless and crass.

Once the show tones down the voice-overs, Balfe is quite good in the part of a time-tossed lassie.... Heughan swaggers in his kilt about as well as “The Simpsons’” Groundskeeper Willie (that is not a dis), but he and Balfe generate about as much heat as two piles of wet peat.

Like King’s last TV series, “Under the Dome,” The Mist would seem to have a short shelf life. One hour with these people and you’ll be rooting for the critters.

Their journey should be thrilling, fascinating. It’s a chore. The young leads do the best with what the scripts give them, even as they are forced to run over the same story beats.

Although the heart of this drama - the tenuous nature of mental health, as embodied in the character of Dr. Banger - is a universal issue, it might not be something most want to examine on a weekly basis. [30 March 2000]

Allen’s been doing this kind of humor for 50 years. It shows.

The makers of the "River" deserve credit for spilling so much of their "X-Files" myth-ology from the start, but there's not enough reason to book passage on this voyage of the bland.

By the end of the third episode, I was tired of all the sodomy jokes. Wood is an appealing comedic lead, but he's working off scraps. Be charitable and chalk up Gann's appeal to cultural differences.

Nothing feels authentic about this show.

Peter Pan Live! wasn’t interesting enough to hate watch.

One thing that might improve this office comedy is a few pink slips--upstairs, downstairs and off-camera.

Against the Wall has little ambition.

When The L Word is judged on its dramatic merits, the real problem is not the stereotypical plot lines or limited scope, but the fact there's nothing here to make the viewer want to tune in every week. Sure, the series throws around catchphrases such as "nipple confidence" and frank talk of "butt waxing," but strip away the attention-grabbing antics and the show is rather boring. Perhaps The L Word stands for lackluster.

Technically, the show is superb, melding animation with actors similar to “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Hines and Meadows in particular do a great job essentially acting opposite nothing. But Son of Zorn seems like Adult Swim filler. There are better shows out there for fall.

Ellis has one great, understated moment, when Sarah (Odette Annable), the love of his life, confronts him about his failings, and you can see Rush realizes the gulf between the man he is and the man he’d like to be is a chasm he’ll never be able to breach. The show needs more of this. But no, it backs away from the edge.

CSI producer Jerry Bruckheimer and Amazing Race producer Bertram Van Munster combine the worst elements of their shows for this six-episode time-killer.

Grammer throws himself into the material, but Lawrence seems deflated. Perhaps he recognizes these scripts seem like somebody’s first drafts. Partners doesn’t make much of a case.

It's disappointing this animated series is so tame.

Judging from the first two episodes of the 10-hour season, the show is riddled with characterizations that are meant to be humorous but are just dumb or offensive.

There's more truth in 10 minutes of Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot."

CBS has wisely cast familiar faces in key roles, which gives the show a leg up given that the characters can barely pass for one-­dimensional.... There’s something comforting about the fantasy of a government task force leaping to your aid hours after a vacation takes a detour to hell.

Tom Welling's picked up all the wrong lessons from behind the screen, from premise to character development. Hellcats is poorly paced and its attempts at comedy and drama stumble.

After the initial disasters, the rest of the show flatlines. Just as in the “CSI” universe, the lead characters are there to serve up exposition.

We’ve spent so much time on mundane love affairs, the nature of the resistance remains an enigma. The Dovekeepers spins history until everyone seems a bit dizzy.

In the absence of a believable or captivating story, Wicked tries to shock, but this is broadcast commercial TV. Ryan Murphy can and does more in two minutes on basic cable than Wicked­ can achieve in an hour.

You’ll be able to spot the front-runner and eventual winner probably 10 minutes into the show.

Creator/executive producer Kring hasn’t learned anything from seasons two through four. Heroes Reborn suffers from the same excesses that alienated viewers--too many characters, too many plot threads, too many snippets of scenes that serve to advance little but the time to a commercial break. Finally, the show seems old-fashioned.

It's all about their attitudes, and on that front, Man Up! is a downer.

Vivian's secrets are predictable. Judging from the first two episodes, Joanna is not much of a sleuth. Scene set-ups go nowhere. Minor characters are brought in, disposed of, and the show bumps along to another complication.

The real reason why “Mariah’s World” seems stale is that it comes off as a TV remake of “Madonna: Truth or Dare,” and Madge did it better in 1991.

CBS has churned out yet another lowest-common-denominator sitcom.

The cast around Mulgrew is excellent. ... Mulgrew, however, drags it all down. Starfleet commanders are not supposed to be this dull, stiff and joyless. As a woman, she's all cardboard and mannish. [16 Jan 1995]

Nobody registers much of a connection. What’s missing from this show is heart.

At 60 minutes, these episodes will test even loyal fans, although some viewers will discover a new respect for Melissa, who displays patience not unlike Job in her trials. Still, Joan is her mother. Everyone else can skip the guilt trip.

While the miniseries is more faithful to the 1941 James M. Cain novel of the same name, Todd Haynes' adaptation (he co-wrote the teleplay, directed and acted as one of the executive producers on this five-part bloated whale) is so draining, it might make you anemic.

Madsen works hard to deliver an intimidating matriarch, but the dialogue is flat and merely functional.

Beau resents his son for abandoning the family homestead. Rooster enjoys egging them on. The war of words can sometimes feel brutal. The work gives Kutcher a chance to truly act, to bring some pathos to the fore, but The Ranch is a slog.

Alpha House feels like social studies homework. On a Saturday night.

TV Land tries to build on its surprise sitcom hit "Hot in Cleveland" with Retired at 35, a spectacularly unfunny show that reflects a parent's worst nightmare: A grown child moves home for no good reason and shows no sign of budging.

The cast, it must be noted, is fine; it’s the scripts that seem to be have been drenched in Bug Juice and left to rot in the sun.

The background music works muscularly to pump up interest, but the story's pacing is ponderous.

So many flashbacks for a murder mystery that is not remotely compelling.

Where Ties unravels is in its other half, as it desperately tries to be a gritty police procedural.

The Passage teases a disaster on an even grander scale yet backtracks several times over in its first three episodes and still manages to rush its most crucial relationship.

As vital as it is, political strategizing just isn’t that engaging to watch.

Gore-hounds will find a couple of visual shots fascinating, but there’s little here for anyone to justify the hour investment.

Midnight, Texas could have been called “True Blood: The Next Generation” or even more precisely “True Blood: The Low-Budget Network Reboot.” Either way, it can’t shake a fang at the original.

The sitcom starts with one of the best introductions to a group of losers. By the end of the third episode Fox provided for review, I was yawning and daydreaming about buying nail fungus remover.

The film jumps erratically across the years to show how Madoff’s arrest in 2008 for a $65 billion Ponzi scheme ruined his family, depicted here as much victims as those who trusted Madoff and lost their fortunes. Yet it’s as if you are watching the work of a first-time director who read about his craft off a flash card.

Finally you get the sense that Meryl Streep's daughter is coming into her own as an actress and even a lead. But Emily needs a script doc, stat.

Party Down, about a group of aspiring Hollywood types working as caterers, returns for a second season of stale jokes.

The Good Place,” from “Parks and Recreation” creator Michael Schur, is the true heir to “Lost,” right down to the flashbacks, half-baked philosophy and Colorforms-simple metaphors.

Wolf Lake attempts to revel within the originality of its otherworldly concept but never does anything remotely original or otherworldly. [12 Sep 2001]

For anyone engaged in psychotherapy, Gypsy presents a nightmare, but its lazy execution is not worth the time commitment.

Every character has a voice-over, info dumps for back story that are either irksome or unnecessary.

It’s a series that zips along in one direction, suddenly accelerates in another and veers out of control into a swamp of sugar and schmaltz.

ABC’s midseason replacement How to Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life) is dumb and crass. That would be fine if it were at all funny.

Traffic Light is the kind of sitcom that revs from zero to zero with laughter.

Thornton seems to be playing against script. His Billy seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself, despite the dire circumstances he finds himself in. It’s about the only surprise in Goliath. By the end of the second episode, it becomes obvious there are forces in play that will stop at nothing to thwart Billy’s quest for answers.

Maybe some day someone will give some stay-at-home dads some respect. This show isn’t it.

There are larger-than-life characters and then there are impossible-to-believe roles, and “Yellowstone” runs deep with the latter. ... There’s a much easier way of summing up “Yellowstone”: Horsepucky.

What’s odd here is that even with the influx of injured, Chicago Med never builds any dramatic heat.

Seduced is many things: a funny road trip, a canny look at Cannes and the industry, a conversation with directors about their epic battles to get their masterpieces on screen. If it had stuck to one idea, it might have made a terrific documentary.

Can we please have a moratorium on voice-over narration? This lazy device is being overused to convey what simple dialogue should. In John Doe, the title character's innermost thoughts won't stop. [19 Sept 2002, p.48]

The maestro behind “Sons of Anarchy” returns to FX with this over-the-top gorefest that tries to outdo both “Game of Thrones” and “The Walking Dead” for spectacle.