There’s comparatively little tension, action or dialogue in Mother, but there sure is a lot of girl-on-girl writhing.

Mitch just might be the stupidest attorney ever depicted on TV.

There are no characters to care about in Nip-Tuck. It seems their motivations are purely hollow. We love Tony Soprano - even when he cheats on his wife or whacks an enemy - because he reveals his own vulnerability and tragic flaws. But this Nip-Tuck bunch are vacant louts - "ER" meets "WWE SmackDown!" [22 July 2003, p.39]

Watching Those Who Can’t is like being stuck in Saturday detention. It feels like forever.

A tired, messy show that reflects its star, fashion PR and marketing maven Kelly Cutrone.

Shameless lives up to its title. What's left for the rest of the season? Cannibalism? Macy is a good sport about being dragged around the kitchen like dead weight.

Most of this show is stupid stoner humor. ... There aren’t enough drugs to find the funny in Disjointed.

Director Philip Kaufman's clumsy, bloated project--clocking in at a miserable two hours and 40 minutes--stars Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman in potentially career-mangling performances.

We all know the cliche about imitation serving as the sincerest form of flattery, but this dumb show takes sucking up to levels of criminal laziness.

TBS has concocted a show once considered to be unimaginable: A college comedy so badly written, acted and executed, so deficit in any jokes or diversions that even a stoner wouldn't be able to enjoy it.

Nothing about this sitcom is clever or amusing.

The Exes is the kind of show you can dump without a second thought.

You don’t ask for much logic from these Syfy schlockfests, but the story pretty much dog-paddles for two hours until its inevitable conclusion.

This is not an easy show to watch, not because of its ambition, but because it’s just so pointlessly mysterious.

Unlike "The View," there were no topical references--the show could have been filmed five years ago for all its relevance--unless you count the moment Osbourne turned a vague discussion of divorce law reform into a rant against cyberbullying.

Forever comes off like a show a couple of drunks scribbled out on a cocktail napkin.

It's strange that the same network that airs these two stellar comedies [Modern Family & The Middle] would chose to regress and put this dreck on the air.

Kudrow seems to be aiming for ``The Larry Sanders Show'' or ``Curb Your Enthusiasm'' territory but only gets as far as ``Reba'' with the f-word. [2 June 2005, p.47]

Despite some graphic moments of heads exploding, BrainDead is neither comic nor thrilling.

The original show balanced horror with comedy and supernatural threats. The update feels like sociology homework.

This sad sack of a show plays like an East Coast, economically challenged version of his HBO hit “Entourage.”

The search for love has never seemed more like a lost cause.

Even the cotton-candy fantasy “Glee” had more depth and reality to it than this show.

No one deserves to lose their job in a mess like this--except the person who created this dreck.

Calling this a train wreck makes the movie sound more fascinating than it is.

TV this dull should be outlawed.

The dialogue is so poor, even Tyler Perry would wince.

Outpost might remind you of the heyday--or low point--of syndicated shows in the late ’80s or ’90s. It’s not “Xena: Warrior Princess”--it’s more on par with the dreck of “Beastmaster.”

Everyone associated with this show--with the exception of MacFarlane--deserves better.

Given the continuity gap between the cliffhanger at the end of the first episode and its resolution in the second, it’s as if the producers aren’t watching their own show. That’s understandable. Frontier proves some places aren’t worth the visit.

The party may be winding down, the taps are running dry, but stupidity lasts forever.

There are few surprises here and even fewer reasons to tune in.

The problem with Partners, as you'll discover if you watch the first two episodes, is that they already made that show years ago and it was called "Will & Grace."

Training Day veers toward the funny bone when it should be going for the jugular. Paxton acts in the pilot as if he’s in a remake of “The Dukes of Hazzard” and he’s playing Cooter. He tones it down in future episodes, but he’s never menacing or scary or even ambiguous.

Almost every moment here is staged to scream, “Look at me! I’m arty!” Lindelof, burned mightily by the backlash over “Lost’s” ridiculous finale, has all but told reporters that the mystery central to The Leftovers will never be explained. That leaves you with a show wallowing in smug self-importance, melancholy and drear week after week.

He sighs, "I got nothing left in me." Neither does this show.

Oh, if only television critics could be like Simon Cowell on "American Idol." I could declare Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital positively dreadful, and viewers would never have to see it again. [29 Feb 2004]

There is some actual racing in the hour, at the Parada Del Sol rodeo in Scottsdale, Ariz., where 120 compete but only 12 will draw checks. The time to beat is just under 18 seconds. But the results give way to another round of sniping and back-biting. The Weinstein Co., known for Oscar-bait films, serves as co-executive producers of this sorry spectacle.

Worst Christmas Ever seems to be under the impression that if it continually lamp-shades its own awfulness--the inane plot, the atrocious acting and production values, even that it is a Lifetime movie--that it will somehow make up for it. But that’s not how math works.

'Big Brother' ... is such a demeaning, depressing exercise that everyone involved ought to be lashed to one of the Pentagon's defective 'Star Wars' missiles and rocketed out over the Pacific, never to be heard from again, except by the sharks. [2 Aug 2000]

This series looks like a sad refuge for actors down on their luck. [4 Jan 2001, p.40]

Possibly the least funny thing on TV. [23 Jul 2003]

Say what you want about WB's late teen soap "Dawson's Creek," but even the worst episode was infinitely better than the network's dreadful One Tree Hill. [23 Sept 2003, p.46]

This might be the first TV series to shame an entire zip code.