Grey’s Anatomy: TVG is an interactive novel where nothing depends on the player. The choice is but illusion. An actor says a few lines, makes an appropriate face, and the story resumes its course. Cue 200 more scenes of cel-shaded doctors phoning it in.

There is no connection between the actual investigation and actions of our zit-faced detectives. Horrendous dialogue, complete with the “American dream” philosophy, syrupy jokes about prepubescent love, and tear-jerking lectures of the characters, only widens this gap.

Zombies in jungle and abandoned temples – that’s a nice setup for a Left 4 Dead campaign. Unfortunately, Rebellion is not Valve. “Repeatedly press button on-screen to survive torture”, says a hint message during one of the interactive cutscenes. Oh I wish there was a button to erase Shellshock 2 from my memory.

It's not a game – just a prototype of one. And they charge money for that?!

The main character of Inquisitor is quite creative when it comes to torturing heretics. You can rack people, make them drink boiling water, or put them into the iron maiden… But the game itself is an even worse torture – not everyone can suffer through 100 hours being bored and annoyed at the same time. Inquisitor is not a hardcore RPG; it just hates the player.

Eight hours of sheer boredom spread over a few equally gray (in all senses) levels.

Paradox Interactive still cannot produce a decent third-party game (see also: Majesty 2, Sword of the Stars 2, Magicka).

You walk about dark rooms, straining your eyes to discern doors from walls, rotate valves, kill hordes of zombies, mercenaries, robots… and pray that this level will be the last.

“If nothing helps, change your tactics”, reads one of the game’s loading tips. I have a better suggestion: change the game as soon as possible.

Even if you watched Avatar two or three times, don’t expect to enjoy the familiar world in the game. Better save the money for the DVD.

How to lose friends and make everyone hate you? Here’s a recipe “from Vivendi”: kill a good publisher, take one of its classic adventure franchises, give it to the creators of Worms, spend all money on Hollywood talent voice-overs, and hope for a profit.

A soulless movie tie-in.

As a freeware game, Star Sentinel Tactics would have earned the approval of a rare retro-maniac, but these guys are actually charging for it.

Fans of Shrek will be better off watching the movie or replaying Shrek SuperSlam – the best game about the green ogre to date. Fans of platformers, better look elsewhere.

Trash. There is no other word for Gothic 3: Forsaken Gods. Not only this expansion is buggy and horribly designed, it's simply useless.

Black Lion took a bite of something that they could now chew – a tactical stealth action game. And instead of a generic by-the-numbers shooter, they spewed out a piece of garbage, complete with poor graphics, amoeba-like AI and a horrendously dumb story.

Virtual Dick Marcinko said it best: “Dead piece of sh.t!”

The worst thing about JASF is not that it's an unrealistic arcade game. It's just very, very boring.

I have no idea why someone ported this mindless iOS game to PC.

The Rockin' Dead looks like a byproduct of someone's failed attempt to master 3ds Max.

1.5 Gbytes of data. 10 US dollars. 45 minutes of gameplay. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new winner for the title of the shortest commercially available first-person shooter. You've seen the bad movie – now play a crappy game.

This is CITY Interactive's worst FPS since Code of Honor: The French Foreign Legion.

A revolting prequel to a disgusting game.

I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was playing a game made by a bunch of school students.

Even a great graphics engine can become a basis for a horrendous game.

It’s not a game, but three hours of torture, complete with broken scripts and frequent crashes.

This game is not just boring – it's disgusting to play.