It's not that the game is terrible -- heck, it's not even bad -- it's just that it fails to do anything to claw its way out of mediocrity.

Conan isn't really a horrible game. There are moments when all the flaws fade away and you'll experience a great animation that slows down at just the right times and chops off just the right heads and you'll start to think that the game is actually pretty fun, but it's all extremely straightforward and lacking a lot of polish.

It might even be considered a pretty decent RTS of usual sort, but taken as a historically accurate simulation; it's utterly disappointing and comes nowhere close to challenging the Total War series.

Essentially, what the player is buying is a competent music video player with microphone attachments.

The game's main "problem" is that it badly needs four players. I say "problem" because that's only a problem if you don't have three friends to play with.

While ancient China seems forever destined to bust apart at the seams, and Koei seems forever destined to remind us of this, DW5 rejuvenates the series with a series of subtle changes that make it worth taking the plunge yet again.

The artificial intelligence is also AWOL. The alertness of each unit is figured individually, and not shared even amongst a group.

Another issue is simply that the enormous buildings make any map seem crowded and critically limit the number of placement options for base building.

Nothing else holds up to the visuals -- not the music, not the script, not the gameplay. Seriously, it's like you've managed to combine the worst bits of your own games along with the most annoying excesses of Japanese RPGs and came up with something so indescribably bland as to defy logic.

If city simming is something that appeals to your obsessive-compulsive tendencies, well, Cities won't disappoint. If, however, you're more interested in creating something that's very much your own and making it part of a world full of similarly unique creations, I'm sorry, but I don't think that'll be happening here.

A fun game to bash around with, and it's one of the best Sonic offshoots the series has seen so far. If you can get over the odd balance, you'll find that it's also one of the best pick-up-and-play fighters on the GBA, too.

XSeed's Fishing Resort, developed by Prope (Let's Tap) tries to spice things up by letting you do some things that aren't just fishing, and they do add a cute Japanese touch to an otherwise bland genre, but it still has trouble standing out.

Seriously, though -- for Kingdom Hearts fans who missed out on COM the first time, this is definitely the best way to play it. While the new stuff is small (a few so-so minigames in Hundred Acre Wood, additional voice acting from the Sixth Sense kid, etc.), my memory of Chain of Memories hasn't changed: It's a pleasant little title that reminds me how much I want Kingdom Hearts 3.

MySims sits uncomfortably between its heritage and its aspirations. It's not as much fun as The Sims, and it's not as much fun as "Animal Crossing." As the only game of its kind on Wii, it's the best by default -- but that still doesn't mean it's particularly great.

There's some frame-skipping when things get really frantic, which is often, but it doesn't murder the experience.

A solid hack-n-slash game that will appeal to fans of the genre, though it'll wear thin quickly.

While there's gobs of visual polish, including a vast array of impressive generic player heads, 09's gameplay double dribbles in too many key spots, making this little more than a palatable No. 6 seed -- it's worth supporting if you're a rabid fan of the sport, but it's far from Final Four material.

You're better off picking up a third-party Wii lightgun casing if that's what you're after, but Crossbow Training provides a surprisingly satisfyingly -- and cheap -- slice of Zelda all by itself.

Joint Strike is a great way to kill a short period of time...just like an arcade game should be. It's brief (you can beat it in about 30 minutes), but that plays to its strengths, as it never feels repetitive during such a short time period.

Maxis hasn't changed the game drastically and shouldn't have to for an expansion pack that is adding a new (and cute!) perspective to an already solid game.

It's addictive, funny, and will make you feel more than a little sad when it's over.

Middle age is looming, Disgaea. Maybe it's time to consider the video game equivalent of moving out of your parents' basement and getting a job.

The atmosphere here is thunderously successful, and its strength makes this a recommended play all by itself.

In a way, Dark Legend is like Overlord with training wheels on. Which isn't by any means a bad thing.

I remember feeling concerned that the game was flying by way too fast, and it wasn't until I actually looked down at the total time played that it hit me that this thing isn't short: I was just enjoying it so much that I didn't notice.

Shadows is halfway there. I experienced plenty of cool "Spider-Man" moments throughout thanks to the basic locomotion and combat and the occasional well-done cut-scene...but Shadows never really hits any sort of stride. Rather, it settles into a rhythm of repetition and drags out as its third act self-destructs.

I'm just not convinced that this grab bag of half-baked ideas and gratuitous filler makes for a great videogame. And I learned something about myself, as well: It takes a lot more than sassy books and hermaphrodites to keep my interest these days.

In spite of all these problems and all the times I threw my controller at the screen while yelling at the fellow Pevensie children for being such dolts, I kept coming back to play. It is engaging, and in parts quite enjoyable.