Van Helsing
Universal Pictures | Release Date: May 7, 2004 CRITIC SCORE DISTRIBUTION
35
METASCORE
Generally unfavorable reviews based on 38 Critic Reviews
Positive:
7
Mixed:
15
Negative:
16
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Critic Reviews

Critic scorePublicationBy date
38
Philadelphia InquirerSteven Rea
Instead of paying homage to these creepy creatures of bygone Hollywood, Sommers seems to be unwittingly lampooning them. The first few minutes of Van Helsing, shot in black and white, look like outtakes from Mel Brooks' gagfest "Young Frankenstein." Read full review
38
Baltimore SunMichael Sragow
The biggest crime of Van Helsing is that it resurrects classic monsters and fails to make them scary. With a full 132 minutes of feeble jokes and gimcrack phantasmagoria, it's not spine-tingling - it's butt-numbing. Read full review
38
Boston GlobeTy Burr
We haven't had a good Frankenstein, Dracula, or Wolf Man movie in a long time, so here's one where the whole gang shows up. One catch: It's not good. Read full review
33
Entertainment WeeklyOwen Gleiberman
Van Helsing, a fusion of eye candy and brain sputter, is a long, kinetic, yet dreary mess. Read full review
30
Washington PostDesson Thomson
A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together. Read full review
30
Chicago ReaderJ.R. Jones
The road of excess leads to the palace of boredom in this overblown monster epic. Read full review
30
Village VoiceEd Park
In Van Helsing, the orgy of morphing, shrieking, lightning-cracking, and habitual rope-swinging quickly turns oppressive. Read full review
25
Christian Science MonitorDavid Sterritt
In sum, Van Helsing is yet another video game disguised as a wide-screen epic. Here's hoping the box office drives a firm wooden stake through its hokey Hollywood heart. Read full review
25
Rolling StonePeter Travers
Here's a shrieking bore of a horror flick. Read full review
25
The Globe and Mail (Toronto)Rick Groen
To be fair, the movie is nothing if not consistent -- the idea is every bit as dumb as the execution. Read full review
20
Film ThreatPete Vonder Haar
Sommers suspends the laws of time and physics and forces his characters to spout some of the cheesiest dialogue imaginable. Read full review
20
SlateDavid Edelstein
You have to feel for the army of talented FX people who must have spent months on scenes--trying to compensate, with their artistry, for the lack of dramatic logic--and having to listen to those lines over and over. Read full review
12
ReelViewsJames Berardinelli
There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good." Read full review
10
The A.V. ClubNathan Rabin
A work of staggering stupidity. Read full review
0
Wall Street JournalJoe Morgenstern
Nothing's alive in this trash-heap travesty of warm-weather entertainment, despite the frenetic pace.
0
San Francisco ChronicleMick LaSalle
Sommers film just lies there, weighted down by a complete lack of wit, artfulness and internal logic. So it's a disaster -- a big, loud, boring wreck. Read full review
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