Van Helsing
Universal Pictures | Release Date: May 7, 2004 CRITIC SCORE DISTRIBUTION
35
METASCORE
Generally unfavorable reviews based on 38 Critic Reviews
Positive:
7
Mixed:
15
Negative:
16
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Critic Reviews

Critic scorePublicationBy date
80
The Hollywood ReporterKirk Honeycutt
This creature feature is exhilarating fun, a richly designed and often quite funny re-exploration of the movie past. Read full review
80
Dallas ObserverGregory Weinkauf
This beast is as subtle as a Red Bull enema, but it succeeds magnificently as compulsively watchable spectacle. Read full review
75
Chicago TribuneMichael Wilmington
A movie that's underwritten, overdirected, overproduced and almost constantly over-the-top. But it's also, at its best, a big tongue-in-cheek extravaganza. Read full review
75
Chicago Sun-TimesRoger Ebert
Silly and spectacular, and fun. Read full review
63
Miami HeraldRene Rodriguez
For all its tangle of characters and plot twists, Van Helsing isn't the slightest bit involving, and more than once (especially whenever Beckinsale is onscreen), it is unintentionally hilarious. But it's the rare kind of movie where the badness just adds to the fun. Read full review
63
New York PostLou Lumenick
There is fun to be had at Van Helsing, but it requires considerable suspension of disbelief at the apparently deliberately ridiculous plot necessary to bring the three monsters together. Read full review
63
PremiereSharon Allen Burke
Horror classicists may be upset at his tampering with monster mythologies, but everyone else will just be going along for the ride, and they’ll have a terrific time. Read full review
60
VarietyTodd McCarthy
The sense of evil overkill is entirely representative of the picture itself, which repeatedly looks ready to blow all its fuses due to sensory overload. Read full review
50
Charlotte ObserverLawrence Toppman
Universal Studios has unloaded its entire monster catalog in this movie, which is aimed at people with the attention span of a kindergartner. Shreds of coherence and character have been sacrificed to fangs and fisticuffs at every chance. Read full review
50
New York Daily NewsJami Bernard
Old monster movies were thrilling in a way that mingled terror, sexuality and a real preference for the monsters over their tormentors. Van Helsing is a kiddie adventure on an endless, meaningless loop. Read full review
50
Los Angeles TimesKenneth Turan
Kind of like a basketball team of all-stars -- no names, please -- that has difficulty jelling into one smooth and efficient unit. Read full review
50
The New York TimesDana Stevens
Despite the rococo obsessiveness of its special effects and its voracious sampling of past horror movies, Van Helsing is mostly content to offer warmed-over allusions and secondhand thrills. Read full review
50
TV Guide MagazineMaitland McDonagh
A hokey monster mish-mash that plunders the richly textured histories of Dracula, the Wolfman and Frankenstein's monster. Read full review
50
Washington PostStephen Hunter
The effect for viewers is that of having inserted one's head in a kettledrum that is being pounded on by drunken monkeys. Read full review
50
USA TodayClaudia Puig
The dashing Jackman plays his part well enough, but the script doesn't provide sufficient "Indiana Jones"-style bons mots to win us over. Read full review
42
Portland OregonianKaren Karbo
If an eardrum-damaging score and people getting routinely slammed into stone walls at a 100 miles an hour without so much as chipping a tooth is your idea of a good time, then Van Helsing won't disappoint. Read full review
42
Seattle Post-IntelligencerWilliam Arnold
A monstrous disappointment. Read full review
40
EmpireIan Freer
The result reaches overload very quickly, squandering the potentially cool premise in a headlong assault of set-piece over story. Read full review
40
L.A. WeeklyScott Foundas
It's all cliffhangers, with no downtime in between. Read full review
40
SalonStephanie Zacharek
Van Helsing wears its price tag on its ruffled lamé sleeve. And yet it gives off an aura of what I can only call lavish cheapness. Read full review
40
Austin ChronicleMarc Savlov
Van Helsing is simply far too much of a good thing, and although Hensley's Frankenstein Monster comes off better than anyone else, the film suffers from some truly inane dialogue and pacing that will likely cause tachycardia in members of the audience old enough to recall who Dwight Frye was. Read full review
40
The New YorkerAnthony Lane
The horror flick, at its height, was a lyrical caressing of our fears; by the end of this nonsense, you fear for the well-being of the genre. “It’s dead!” [24 May 2004, p. 96]
38
Philadelphia InquirerSteven Rea
Instead of paying homage to these creepy creatures of bygone Hollywood, Sommers seems to be unwittingly lampooning them. The first few minutes of Van Helsing, shot in black and white, look like outtakes from Mel Brooks' gagfest "Young Frankenstein." Read full review
38
Baltimore SunMichael Sragow
The biggest crime of Van Helsing is that it resurrects classic monsters and fails to make them scary. With a full 132 minutes of feeble jokes and gimcrack phantasmagoria, it's not spine-tingling - it's butt-numbing. Read full review
38
Boston GlobeTy Burr
We haven't had a good Frankenstein, Dracula, or Wolf Man movie in a long time, so here's one where the whole gang shows up. One catch: It's not good. Read full review
33
Entertainment WeeklyOwen Gleiberman
Van Helsing, a fusion of eye candy and brain sputter, is a long, kinetic, yet dreary mess. Read full review
30
Washington PostDesson Thomson
A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together. Read full review
30
Chicago ReaderJ.R. Jones
The road of excess leads to the palace of boredom in this overblown monster epic. Read full review
30
Village VoiceEd Park
In Van Helsing, the orgy of morphing, shrieking, lightning-cracking, and habitual rope-swinging quickly turns oppressive. Read full review
25
Christian Science MonitorDavid Sterritt
In sum, Van Helsing is yet another video game disguised as a wide-screen epic. Here's hoping the box office drives a firm wooden stake through its hokey Hollywood heart. Read full review
25
Rolling StonePeter Travers
Here's a shrieking bore of a horror flick. Read full review
25
The Globe and Mail (Toronto)Rick Groen
To be fair, the movie is nothing if not consistent -- the idea is every bit as dumb as the execution. Read full review
20
Film ThreatPete Vonder Haar
Sommers suspends the laws of time and physics and forces his characters to spout some of the cheesiest dialogue imaginable. Read full review
20
SlateDavid Edelstein
You have to feel for the army of talented FX people who must have spent months on scenes--trying to compensate, with their artistry, for the lack of dramatic logic--and having to listen to those lines over and over. Read full review
12
ReelViewsJames Berardinelli
There are quite a few unintentionally funny moments, although the overall experience was too intensely painful for me to be able to advocate it as being "so bad, it's good." Read full review
10
The A.V. ClubNathan Rabin
A work of staggering stupidity. Read full review
0
Wall Street JournalJoe Morgenstern
Nothing's alive in this trash-heap travesty of warm-weather entertainment, despite the frenetic pace.
0
San Francisco ChronicleMick LaSalle
Sommers film just lies there, weighted down by a complete lack of wit, artfulness and internal logic. So it's a disaster -- a big, loud, boring wreck. Read full review
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