Ted
Universal Pictures | Release Date: June 29, 2012
7.0
USER SCORE
Generally favorable reviews based on 838 Ratings
USER RATING DISTRIBUTION
Positive:
553
Mixed:
212
Negative:
73
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3
KenmeiJul 15, 2012
This was a very disappointing movie. After seeing all of those people saying it was one of the funniest movies in a long time, I had high expectations for this movie. Being a fan of both Family Guy and American Dad, I felt very confident thatThis was a very disappointing movie. After seeing all of those people saying it was one of the funniest movies in a long time, I had high expectations for this movie. Being a fan of both Family Guy and American Dad, I felt very confident that this would be a good movie. Boy how wrong I was. I don't know why I didn't expect anything except a long episode of Family Guy but that's all this movie was in the end. The same jokes, the same cut-away style of jokes, the same everything. That would be fine if the movie was entertaining and it just wasn't. The story was terrible. The actor's were not very good and they were obviously mailing it in half the time. There were some decent moments here and there but this movie was very unoriginal and just boring most of the time. I'll stick with MacFarlane's T.V. shows from now on if this is going to be the quality of his movies.… Expand
17 of 23 users found this helpful176
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4
mrmdeeJan 21, 2013
Ted is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused ofTed is an homage to old, tired jokes and an attempt to shock its audience into liking the movie. Just like Seth McFarlane's completely unoriginal Family Guy, Ted dares its critics to lambast the movie and when they do, they are accused of being "unhip" or "too sensitive." I saw this movie in the summer and enjoyed the first ten minutes of the movie, when it maintained some sense of originality. Then it devolved into an hour and a half Family Guy or American Dad episode. Each joke less memorable than the one before it. Throughout the movie I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mila Kunis. (Maybe McFarlane has something on her and blackmailed her into starring?) And Mark Wahlberg played a completely unlikable loser. You don't want him to get the girl. Teenagers and 10-year-old boys will enjoy this movie because they enjoy anything that is crass. It makes them feel older and more powerful. Maybe that's what McFarlane's motivation behind his work is?… Expand
4 of 4 users found this helpful40
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3
NedRyerson1Jan 11, 2013
Ted seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experienceTed seemed to be a good movie, although the idea is very interesting and original, because nobody could possibly think in another use for a teddy bear than a toy for a little child. The director, Seth MacFarlane, obviously used his experience for creating this story in which a kid with no friends grows up with ted, entering both to a world of parties, sex and drugs. The problem is that the protagonist is now an adult with a girlfriend (asking for marriage) and a job, but he still has ted, with the exception that now it is promiscuous and a very bad influence. The film consists in funny situations about this couple and how it breaks with the adult world. The problem with this picture is that the jokes and situations are very weakly constructed and with the simplicity of a child. At no time this movie made me laugh, even more, I got bored. The story is poor and predictable, the performances are disgusting and the direction is awful, however how you cannot expect a complex humor from the guy who created Family Guy. Is shallow, is repetitive, is Ted-ious.… Expand
2 of 2 users found this helpful20
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3
FrenchchefNov 17, 2012
The only entertaining thing for me during the entire movie was Ted mimicking voices like the Boston one. Otherwise, it's trashy comedy with bad acting. The plot was also very clique and no good.
2 of 2 users found this helpful20
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5
Andys_ReviewsMay 6, 2013
So, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublimeSo, was it worth my while investing 106 minutes of my life on this one? I have to say, on balance; not really. Yes there are some wonderfully comic moments and smart one-liners in there but I did find it drifted far too much from the sublime to the ridiculous. Also, one minute Ted is ‘Brian’ for Family Guy and the next he turns into ‘Peter Griffin’ from the same show (despite his denials). I thought both Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis did a good job; both of their characters were quite believable. Ultimately though I did find it lacked the one thing it so desperately needed; heart. Still, I’m sure the many devotees of ‘Family Guy’ will love this one but for me, sadly, it’s a bit of a dud.

SteelMonster’s verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED (…unless you’re a really big fan of Family Guy, in which case why haven’t you seen it yet!)

My score: 5.3/10… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
augustwoAug 10, 2015
GREAT COMEDY!! And i don't use that term lightly ever. The critics on the left are morons. This movie has it all. Great cameos throughout, great story, hot chicks and Family Guy style humor i love.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
NicholasandrewAug 29, 2013
This movie is simply awesome. I very creative, and the way he acts with the teddy bear really seems real. Its amazing, I can't even imegine someone saying something negative about this movie... Amazing!
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
BunnyJan 25, 2013
The only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boringThe only thing 'shocking' about this movie is how lazy the writing is. Some good moments here, including a really funny bit part played by Joel McHale. Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg are good but they cannot carry a poor movie with a boring plot and weak jokes. The humour was base, unoriginal and just lame. If you're into racist stereotypes and fart jokes, this movie is for you.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
ScottReidJul 26, 2012
I liked Ted. It was clever and funny. And, come on. These people giving it 0/10, FLASH GORDON WAS IN IT. That has to count for atleast some points, I mean - come on guys. FLASH GORDON. That PenguinMusic is just being a **** Let's not listenI liked Ted. It was clever and funny. And, come on. These people giving it 0/10, FLASH GORDON WAS IN IT. That has to count for atleast some points, I mean - come on guys. FLASH GORDON. That PenguinMusic is just being a **** Let's not listen to him/her/both?

I love Seth MacFarlane's humour. It's the kind of humour that makes me laugh. That dig at Adam Sandler in Jack and Jill was hillarious. PATRICK STEWART IS A GREAT NARRATOR.

A sequel would be very good.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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6
nightblade00Feb 13, 2013
If you are a fan of Family or Judd Apatow films you will be entertained by this one. However, if you are looking for comedy gold, you should probably look elsewhere. Best enjoyed with a group of guys at least 3-4 drinks in when you turn it on.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
MountZionVJul 30, 2012
This movie is close to an instant classic, laughed my ass off for the majority of the movie. Good times all around, overall solid movie Seth Macfarlane
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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9
Bruce722Nov 29, 2012
Ted was maybe the funniest movie I've seen all year. Mark Wahlberg played a pretty good role but Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted) steal the show. Mila is absolutely stunning as usual and MacFarlane's sense of humor is so deranged thatTed was maybe the funniest movie I've seen all year. Mark Wahlberg played a pretty good role but Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane (as Ted) steal the show. Mila is absolutely stunning as usual and MacFarlane's sense of humor is so deranged that you can't help but find it hilarious. This definitely isn't a movie for everyone. It's incredibly vulgar and some people might be offended by a lot of the content. Nonetheless, if you're like me and don't really care about any of that stuff, I think you'd love this movie.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
csw12Feb 16, 2013
Ted is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threwTed is nothing more than a juvenile film with crude and mostly unfunny sex jokes. The movie is over the top punctuated by a few bright spots here and there. It seemed like Seth MacFarlane wrote down any stupid joke that came to mind and threw it all together.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
reddave2Sep 12, 2012
I'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of theI'm a fan in general of the Family Guy series so I had high hopes for this, but it just never seemed to engage me. The jokes arent funny enough and the plot about the obsessed fan isnt really needed and really drags the last third of the family. There are some high spots, including an excellent fight scene and a pretty funny cameo but I found myself bored and not really enjoying the film at the halfway point. Its not crude enough to be a great shock comedy and its too risque to be an enjoyable coming of age comedy and as such falls somewhere uncomfortable between.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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4
EittenneJul 15, 2012
This movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being hisThis movie started out well and was funny initially. It, however , dropped off 3/4 of the way through. Had to wade through the last 20 minutes.Mark Walberg did a fine job of being a bachelor that refuses to grow up with Mila Kunis being his faithful GF trying to make him face a reality of life. Had high hopes for it from the trailers but left disappointed in the result.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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1
Squishy05May 25, 2014
Was an okay movie I guess,, but yoh... I wish they will stop with all the Je##s and Ch###t swearing, really, you could have made the movie without it, I can't see how swearing like that makes any difference to the story whatsoever, or is thatWas an okay movie I guess,, but yoh... I wish they will stop with all the Je##s and Ch###t swearing, really, you could have made the movie without it, I can't see how swearing like that makes any difference to the story whatsoever, or is that just how everyone speaks nowadays ?… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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1
HarryNuggetsAug 31, 2012
This movie was HORRIBLE. There is nothing redeeming about it, Ted sounds like Peter of the Family Guy (Macfarlane does the voice) which is irritating enough since the same tripe comes out of the bear's mouth as Peter's. I have alwaysThis movie was HORRIBLE. There is nothing redeeming about it, Ted sounds like Peter of the Family Guy (Macfarlane does the voice) which is irritating enough since the same tripe comes out of the bear's mouth as Peter's. I have always thought Macfarlane's modus operandi is as much shock as imagination and talent, this movie proves it. I wasn't offended but insulted that someone would try to pass off something so lazy, and at times mean spirited, as a movie. I must admit I am scratching my head over critics such as Travers over at Rolling Stone claiming it's gut bustingly funny...it isn't, it's mind bendingly banal punctuated by vulgarity.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
ThegodfathersonMar 24, 2013
This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted is every single thing a Family Guy fan wants, and its also for people who don't like Family Guy. So, this movie is about Johnny who wishes his teddy to come to life. And when Teddy comes alive he becomes a international sensation and a best friend to his master, but eventually Teddy grows up and changes happen. Big changes. Johnny meets a girl and hangs with her for 4 years and now she wants marriage and Teddy has to move out. Teddy gets wild with his scrounged life and expects Johhny to join it. But his girlfriend is very serious about family business. And so, this crazy wild romp ride gets in sugarplum in its plot. Ted is the best comedy of 2012 and maybe the best ever made. Why should you watch it? Because its damn funny. I love Ted, it's a new creation that Seth McFarlane has created with a mix of wild condiments and, hey! Mila Kunis! The farty jokes were compelling and funny, the acting was great probably the best of 2012. Ted Is Real.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
azgoodazMar 28, 2013
This is literally one of the funniest movies I ever watched. I pissed my pants through the whole movie and laughed so hard that Ted is awesome. Ted is not a disappointing movie nor a ''ok'' movie, its pure awesome and funny. I love the TwoThis is literally one of the funniest movies I ever watched. I pissed my pants through the whole movie and laughed so hard that Ted is awesome. Ted is not a disappointing movie nor a ''ok'' movie, its pure awesome and funny. I love the Two main actors Mark and Mila in which also make the movie happen.… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
Ashley1998Nov 1, 2013
Brilliant film packed full of huge laughs with a very strong plot and very good characters. The acting is excellent and the end part is the best! Highly recommend!
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
lukechristianscMar 18, 2014
from the guy who brought us family guy and american dad . Seth MacFarlane is the adult swim king and this movie brought me laughs and joy . i love Seth's directing and writing the script . i heard ted 2 is coming soon in 2015 which i willfrom the guy who brought us family guy and american dad . Seth MacFarlane is the adult swim king and this movie brought me laughs and joy . i love Seth's directing and writing the script . i heard ted 2 is coming soon in 2015 which i will enjoy and willing to see… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
MovieGoeOct 7, 2014
Creative, great effects and Mark Wahlberg played the perfect 30 something who has never grown up. The humor is cheap and at times gross and plays to the little 14 year old boy in all of us men. I loved this movie and have watched it more thanCreative, great effects and Mark Wahlberg played the perfect 30 something who has never grown up. The humor is cheap and at times gross and plays to the little 14 year old boy in all of us men. I loved this movie and have watched it more than once. FLASH GORDON RULES!!!… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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9
NerdConsultantDec 29, 2014
Ted is one of the funniest movies I've seen in ages with some of Seth Mcfarlen's best writing. it does what princess diaries did well in making a live action cartoon similar to his family guy and american dad shows and it works in so manyTed is one of the funniest movies I've seen in ages with some of Seth Mcfarlen's best writing. it does what princess diaries did well in making a live action cartoon similar to his family guy and american dad shows and it works in so many ways and it's great to see Mark Wahlberg in a decent movie given his track record in recent memory… Expand
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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5
arthur1nowApr 6, 2015
Un film moyen avec des personnages plutôt drôles mais ce sont les enchainement de "gags" qui sont selon moins en dessous. Dommage. Un film sans plus.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
ArceptafferJul 29, 2015
I laughed my head off with this film. Seth Macfarlane is a comedic god. No one is funnier than him. I can't wait to watch the sequel. Now, time to go watch some family guy.
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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8
MadMaxFuryRoadJun 26, 2015
Ted is a pretty funny movie though it is not as hilarious as people say it is. It is pretty weird how a teddy bear could talk but is also really funny when he starts cussing. The movie had me laugh all the way and the ending got a lot more serious
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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10
SirDimitris27Oct 21, 2015
One of the funniest movies of all time with an equally amazing sequel. It's humor which is black and dirty might not be appreciated by everyone though!
1 of 1 users found this helpful10
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8
S6220Aug 12, 2012
If you remotely like any of Seth MacFarlane's earlier work then you will love this film. Firstly, I don't think Ted could have been cast any better. Of course they used most of the family guy characters as actors in the film and it worksIf you remotely like any of Seth MacFarlane's earlier work then you will love this film. Firstly, I don't think Ted could have been cast any better. Of course they used most of the family guy characters as actors in the film and it works really well, not only is it relate-able it's hilarious. The script is rich in one-liners and hooks that keep the pace of the comedy at a perfect pace that seem to flow effortlessly through a good, solid story line. It's not genre defining, it's generic as hell. But it doesn't matter. It's slathered in enough hilarity that you simply don't care about the story. I don't really have any negative criticism for the film, the only thing I can suggest to anyone thinking about going to watch the film - don't go in expecting anything more than a comedy. It does what it says on the tin and it's hilarious.… Expand
7 of 8 users found this helpful71
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5
dz9Jul 17, 2012
All I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles aAll I heard from this movie was "If you love Family Guy you'll love this," Family Guy being one of my favorite shows, I thought I would have a riot with Ted... but I was deeply disappointed. The main problem with Ted is that it recycles a lot of its own jokes and it relies way too heavily on toilet humor. Seeing hooker excrement just isnt that funny. The jokes aren't all bad though, there are definitely a few instances of Seth McFarlane's comedic genius with his pop culture references and parodies, but these were too few and too far apart. Another problem of the movie is its premise of a talking teddy bear.. I was "on board" with it at first, but the finale of the movie reversed the mythos and just made it seem silly and not well-thought out at all. But to the movies strengths; Mila Kunis and Mark Wahlberg were great together and a lot of the cameos did great. In the End: This feels like every other Seth McFarlane project that isn't Family Guy. It's forgettable and stupid with barely any laughs and you wish you were just watching Family Guy instead.… Expand
6 of 7 users found this helpful61
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4
ORidenourJul 17, 2012
This movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that saidThis movie is just an excuse for seth mcfarlane to get an uncensored version of family guy. He brought nothing new to the comedy scene and didn't even make an attempt to change his voice acting from the mainstream family guy stuff, that said this could have been a great movie... if seth mcfarlane hadn't been the voice actor for one of the main characters and if he had tried to bring something new to the table instead of just reusing his same old worn out brand of humor… Expand
4 of 5 users found this helpful41
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5
mdm389Jul 13, 2012
The first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's aThe first half is hilarious, but the movie quickly tailspins into a cliche Bromance flick in the second half, devoid of any real humor or intrigue. The difference between the two halves magnifies the latter's shortcomings even more. It's a shame, too, as the idea of a magical toy coming to life but never going away had so much more potential this. McFarlane's racist for the sake of being racist jokes ("look how edgy I am making jokes about Asians butchering chickens and owning gongs!") are simply stupid and not at all funny, and the fact that you are never for a moment unsure of what's happening next ruins the film's appeal.

Worth a rental, not worth a $10 theatre ticket.… Expand
4 of 5 users found this helpful41
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8
MolniyaJul 1, 2012
If you enjoy Family Guy, you'll enjoy this movie. Ted's accent isn't quite Peter Griffin, but it's close. See how many other Family Guy voice actors you can spot. Typical MacFarlane humor.
6 of 8 users found this helpful62
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5
Psyco6Jul 13, 2012
This movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the bestThis movie is like a family guy movie. The jokes are mostly 80's references or about pop culture,and seth even throws in a few jokes about Jews, Muslims,and Mexicans. The best part about this movie is Mila and Mark since they are the best actors in the movie. A few parts in the movie were funny,but a lot of the jokes were pretty dry and it something that is poorly written. So if you like the way family guy has been going then you'll like this movie. If you are expecting a funny movie that has good jokes them save your money.… Expand
3 of 4 users found this helpful31
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6
barnabyjon3sJul 3, 2012
An average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommendAn average comedy with worn out jokes. If you are a fan of family guy and hoping to enjoy new jokes and an interesting plot don't waste your time. With the price of tickets and the other movies in theaters right now I honestly can't recommend seeing this. You have heard the jokes before and the fact that Ted is a Teddy bear wears off quickly. Ryan Reynolds gave a couple of laughs but that was about the only thing that sent the theater into an uproar. I was expecting better. It wasn't a terrible movie. It was entertaining but I would wait to torrent/rent/Netflix this movie.… Expand
3 of 4 users found this helpful31
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8
RoscoAug 1, 2012
Seth MacFarlane's big screen debut comes in the form of Ted. As a fan of his work I was definetly looking forward to this. And largely, it's hilarious! Ted is definetly the comedy of the summer, infact very possibly of the year. The filmSeth MacFarlane's big screen debut comes in the form of Ted. As a fan of his work I was definetly looking forward to this. And largely, it's hilarious! Ted is definetly the comedy of the summer, infact very possibly of the year. The film itself begins with a young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a lonely child who upon receiving a teddy bear for his Christmas wishes he could talk. The next morning, John's wish comes true and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) can indeed talk and briefly becomes a celebrity. The film picks up in the modern day where John and Ted are living in Boston. Both, however are still childish, immature and spend most of the time smoking pot! John is also in a four-year relationship with the stunning Lori (Mila Kunis). During their anniversary Lori reveals that she wants more from their relationship but feels they can't move on with Ted around. This tests John's friendship to maximum as he tries to maintain his relationship with Lori and keep his bromance intact with Ted. It results in a fantastically funny comedy. It may seem juvenile but believe me Ted has a lot on offer! Wahlberg and MacFarlane nail the chemistry between their characters as they bounce of each other wonderfully well. Mila Kunis isn't just the eye candy as she fits in perfectly to MacFarlane's witty world of comedy once again. Ted is often hilarious and at times very rated-R, however not all the time, it's largely hit but does have a few misses along the way. What makes the film even more appealing is that at the heart of it is a tale of friendship, love and loyalty. Definetly the must see comedy of the summer and one that is throughly enjoyable throughout! MacFarlane's debut is hilariously impressive , if slightly drawn out but it all pays off in the end. So much so you may find yourself singing a certain Thunder Song the next time a bit of thunder is on the horizon. Dynamite!… Expand
4 of 6 users found this helpful42
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3
EludiumQ36Dec 1, 2012
At first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And aAt first I was psyched about "Ted" because wow, Seth McFarlane gets to unleash and it's just gotta be great right ?! Not so much. People, this is a RomCom, yep, romantic comedy. And it's totally derivative, you've seen it all before. And a collateral effect is that it comes across as some weird offshoot of "Family Guy" because Seth's Ted character sounds like "Peter" and he does a "Stewie" too, and Mila Kunis is the voice of "Meg" so it's just weird. But look, as much as anybody I wanted to like/love this venture, but it's juvenile, disappointing, and done so many times before.… Expand
4 of 6 users found this helpful42
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10
anothercoolguyJun 30, 2012
Funny as hell .
4 of 6 users found this helpful42
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10
BG3Jul 2, 2012
Ted is hands-down one of the funniest movies ever made. This is a movie that you would like to see over and over again. The movie contains a little romance, a little action, and alot of comedy. Ted is definitely a must-see
4 of 6 users found this helpful42
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8
EiiteDonkeyJul 4, 2012
This Movie was hilarious, humor is little inappropriate but thats Seth Macfarlane. If you like Family Guy, you'll love this movie. Similar comedy style and jokes. The story line is a little strange, but makes sense in the end.
4 of 6 users found this helpful42
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8
Tbrown15Jul 7, 2012
Ted, is vulgar, dirty, funny, smart and mostly entertaining. How is this not a masterpiece in comedy land. well, towards the end of the film, Ted becomes a little to dull with the jokes, with the extremely loud laughs become chuckles. The 3rdTed, is vulgar, dirty, funny, smart and mostly entertaining. How is this not a masterpiece in comedy land. well, towards the end of the film, Ted becomes a little to dull with the jokes, with the extremely loud laughs become chuckles. The 3rd act is a little weak, with the first two acts being wildly entertaining. Overall, Ted has some very laugh-out loud moments that will make you want to cry, and instantly becomes one of the funnier films of 2012. My girlfriend and I had a blast seeing this film, and absolutely enjoyed the film. Ted, is one outrageous comedy.… Expand
2 of 3 users found this helpful21
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1
Charles_PetersoJul 21, 2012
Slams on low wage earning men, while praise's unmarried whor....Only some out of touch rich Hollywood scum could create this this monstrosity. Here's to losing more money in the near future!!!!!
2 of 3 users found this helpful21
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9
spartan8330Jul 4, 2012
MacFarlane loves to walk the line in his TV shows, and with an R-Rating he could have crossed it in "Ted." But he didn't. He danced around it beautifully, and had the audience in gut-wrenching laughter all the while.
2 of 3 users found this helpful21
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10
jmantalentJul 3, 2012
What a funny movie it is full of laughs if you enjoy humor and dont mind if the jokes are about sex,drugs and fat kids this movie is for you not for the kids though
12 of 19 users found this helpful127
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10
Knicksfan7Jun 29, 2012
I fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actuallyI fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actually gets you to care for the characters. Ted was just a great film. If you don't enjoy crude humour then you won't enjoy this at all. Every joke involved is crude, from rascist jokes, to smoking and drinking, to fat jokes, to every kind of crudeness you can think of, but what you have to realize though, is its a joke, nothing more, and frankly i found it absolutely hilarious, i was crying because i was laughing so hard. Ted gets a 10/10 for me, if you don't like crude then stay away, if you don't mind crude then you're sure to have a damn good time.… Expand
5 of 8 users found this helpful53
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10
RocksolidnelieSep 26, 2012
ted is by far the funniest movie of all time, you have to get the comedy that Seth McFarlane writes. Anyone that hated this movie needs to develop a dirty sense of humor. This movie was 90% of the time laugh out loud funny. This movie wasted is by far the funniest movie of all time, you have to get the comedy that Seth McFarlane writes. Anyone that hated this movie needs to develop a dirty sense of humor. This movie was 90% of the time laugh out loud funny. This movie was worth the money and i have new well earned respect for Seth McFarlane. What also is cool about this movie is that every person in this movie has been associated with Seth McFarlane in some way, like in Family Guy, American Dad or any other show he has created, but some are new. This movie will be next to impossible to top. I look forward to another movie from him.… Expand
5 of 8 users found this helpful53
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0
JonWaynJul 15, 2012
This has gotta be the dumbest movie that I have ever seen. The only laughter came within the first five minutes when the little kid that was mugged by the others for being jewish, joined in with them just to deny John Benett a piece of theThis has gotta be the dumbest movie that I have ever seen. The only laughter came within the first five minutes when the little kid that was mugged by the others for being jewish, joined in with them just to deny John Benett a piece of the action, then afterwards, went back to getting his ass kicked. other than that, it was 3rd grade humor, dull, and boring. I couldn't believe the amount of hearty laughter I heard coming form others around me though. Made me wonder if everyone else was given 4-D glasses that made them see something entirely different from what I was watching… Expand
3 of 5 users found this helpful32
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0
PenguinMusicJul 7, 2012
This movie made me ashamed to be American. Our standards for comedy have completely deteriorated. After seeing The Dictator and now TED, I'm completely convinced that Hollywood will never release another intelligent, funny comedy everThis movie made me ashamed to be American. Our standards for comedy have completely deteriorated. After seeing The Dictator and now TED, I'm completely convinced that Hollywood will never release another intelligent, funny comedy ever again. The sad thing is that I was both a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen and Seth MacFarlane, but I have lost respect for both of them. This was a movie made for complete morons. How many times can you say d**k and have someone take a sh*t before it's not funny any more? Has every great comedic writer completely run out of ideas? It's absolutely pathetic. I could not believe that everyone in the theater was laughing at the worst writing and acting I've ever seen. The biggest problem was that the movie was BORING. If you're gonna make a movie about a teddy bear, could you at least not bore me to tears? When that chase scene started and they started sewing up the bear enough was enough. I'm not prude or lacking in the humor department at all, but I just think it's really sad what comedy has turned into. I miss comedies that had the ability to make me laugh without saying "s**k my d**k" 800 times. There used to be real humor with real thought behind it, it wasn't so cheap and void of any class or wit. Now all you need is someone to take a dump, a famous actor to say "s**k my d**k", and a few offensive, unoriginal jokes about homosexuals/Jews/Mexicans/Asians and you've got yourself a golden ticket. People, come on!!!! We deserve more!!!! Is there anyone out there???? Please tell me I'm not the only one who felt this way!… Expand
13 of 22 users found this helpful139
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0
honestlyyoursJul 15, 2012
This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. I have to agree with Penguin Music-standards for comedy are pathetic. I think people are saying they like it almost because they feel they are expected to laugh. The only two movies I ever walked out on were both with Sacha Baron Cohen, both tasteless, actually quite nauseating. Sadly, besides wasting their own time and money, parents thinking how bad can a movie about a teddy bear be are ignoring the r rating and teaching them that their favorite teddy bear is fine with marijuana, other drugs in the marijuana, heroin, beer, shots, driving under the influence, lude and crude behavior and language.… Expand
4 of 7 users found this helpful43
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2
MovieReviewGuruJul 5, 2012
Ted was terrible. At a certain point in the movie (maybe 30 mins in) I realized this is as good as it gets. It's funny how MacFarlane makes fun of Adam Sandler for being terrible (which I agree btw) but this movie was probably just as bad. ItTed was terrible. At a certain point in the movie (maybe 30 mins in) I realized this is as good as it gets. It's funny how MacFarlane makes fun of Adam Sandler for being terrible (which I agree btw) but this movie was probably just as bad. It featured bizarre celebrity cameos, it had crude and racist jokes, and even had a homosexual scene or two just like a lousy Sandler movie. I think what makes Family Guy/American Dad so funny is the combination of characters which this movie lacked. I'm not saying it was suppose to be Family Guy movie but it turned out to be a rated R version of the show minus the talking baby, the picked on sister, the funny dad, etc. It's annoying too because Ted sounds like a mix between Peter and Brain (trying to do a Boston accent). Stupid gag humor that I expected more of from MacFarlane. Don't waste ur money at the movies an unfortunate mistake I made.… Expand
9 of 17 users found this helpful98
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10
john24Jul 2, 2012
Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth Mcfarlane, great combination .
3 of 6 users found this helpful33
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10
K0NFUZEJun 30, 2012
This movie is fricken awesome and super funny!! I would recommend this movie to anyone that has a good sense of humor because.. just man it was a very funny movie.
3 of 6 users found this helpful33
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6
FDT44Jun 30, 2012
While Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voiceWhile Ted, the self-titled protagonist, may look like the adorably soft and cuddly, ursine-childhood-friend, such conventions are bound to be tested by "Family Guy" creator and first time director Seth MacFarlane, whose multifaceted voice work merely drives his twisted, at times abominably offensive material. Don't ask how the controversially animated show has run for some 13 years, but it might have to do with saying what others dare not; rest assured, audiences can expect the same bold-faced audacity in his directorial debut, an intriguing blend of live action and CG technology, "Ted." This "romance versus bromance" amalgam, is centrally premised around the wish one lonely boy makes one Christmas evening in hopes of transmuting his furry teddy bear into real-life companion; sound familiar? Pinocchio, perhaps? So, as anticipated, the following morning sees once-friendless John Bennett, granted with the wish of his dreams, and the start of what will become a life of Peter-Pan syndrome; only we're talking about something more potent than pixie dust. Hence, the first scene of real-time, where now-35-year-old John (Wahlberg) is shown taking a bong hit with his peer-pressurer teddy bear, now wearing a hirsute coat laden with subtle stains and tears, and complaining to John about how he needs to talk to his "weed-guy" about the activeness of his current supply of grass. It's all so funny at first, seeing a stoner in the guise of what has long been considered the staple of puerile comfort and security. But, MacFarlane lives to obliterate long-standing conceptions, especially mores. Aside from some one-liners that don't quite stick, seemingly procrastinate editing (some scenes feel as if they were indecisively cut), and a slightly unbalanced script, the high-concept comedy is fitting, serving its purpose--riotous Friday night laugh-out-louds--and satisfying audiences. Only, after a while, and some brain-dead lapses in logic (how can a soft, fuzzy teddy bear, stuffed with weightless filler, subdue a grown man, Wahlberg, punching, bashing, and spanking him, while being unable later, to defend himself against an obese pre-adolescent boy?) Ted,no longer possesses the same shocking affectation he laid onto audiences in the film's first hour. It is as if Ted is no longer a teddy bear, thanks to MacFarlane's resonant voice work, and the plot's direction follows too much the formula paved from movies like "Knocked Up," that star a man wanting to remain a nonconstructive element in society, resorting back, time and time again to smoking pot, besotting oneself, and acting like a buffoon amidst life-changing circumstances. Moreover, until the audience sees Ted do something they haven't seen before--the opening bong-couch-scene had already set the bar so high--it might as well be Seth Rogen himself on that couch; the same mystical feeling of watching a fluffy childhood toy become high and talking with a potty-mouth only lasts so long. So, when John's commitment-seeking girlfriend, Lori, (Mila Kunis) is irritated by Ted's incessant urging of his "Thunder-Buddy" John to join him in his life of profanity, she confronts John, presenting him, indirectly, with the ultimatum of "bear or girl." This too, see "I Love You, Man," feels borrowed, and sets up John's "just give me one last chance, Lori" where he, following the design, will find a way to break his promise, and where Lori's egotistically sleazy, and forward boss (Joel McHale) chimes in. And, after the relationship with Lori is halted, Ted is surely going to wind up in trouble, too, right? You guessed it, enter Giovanni Ribisi. But, in a macro sense, "Ted," is undoubtedly hilarious in parts, and with the combination of MacFarlane's expressiveness of voice and the CG-animated, Ted is a character one can only root for, regardless of how ribald he really is. The soundtrack is charmingly, as well as deliberately cliché, but it successfully bolsters MacFarlane's self-mockery and recurring hilarity with the far-from-kiddy-Ted. Moreover, Wahlberg (feeling comfortable in his Boston hood) and Kunis (underused as usual) do a fair job at delineating the on-the-edge couple (albeit the real feat is in acting with a voided-CG-animated Ted). And, Patrick Warburton's (Guy) impassive, basso-profundo-gruff-sounding-self is aptly humorous. As for the peculiar love triangle between Ted, John, and their hero Sam Jones, the vaguely remembered 'Gordon' star won't pacify most of its intended audience, and feels patched together. Likewise, the film's third act, which clumsily throws in some peril to regain some faltering sympathies, looks and feels forced. Ultimately, "Ted" is unduly and deliberately offensive, stuffed with taboo and sacrilege, a tinge of sentimental relish, clumps of aimless fluff, loose strings, and an irrelevance sewn with a real, bearing heart.… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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10
Gamer44Nov 30, 2012
One word hilarious this movie made me laugh until I cried.This is by far one of the best comedy films I have ever seen and I have seen alot.Not much more to say other than if you love family guy then this is the film for you.now I'm going toOne word hilarious this movie made me laugh until I cried.This is by far one of the best comedy films I have ever seen and I have seen alot.Not much more to say other than if you love family guy then this is the film for you.now I'm going to watch it for the second time today.bye bye… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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4
jsp41Jun 29, 2012
Ted is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that letsTed is a funny movie, but can fall flat at times. Wahlberg and Kunis are likeable, but Ted himself is beautifully rendered, and is freaking hilarious. It can fall into a lot of comedy cliches, but is a very funny, original project that lets you care. It drags on at times, but overall a solid summer comedy.… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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10
scoleyAug 2, 2012
Great film very funny loved all the cameo's some risky gags well gag topics but all the same very entertaining I will be buying this one you can watch it over and over again and it will still be very funny a must see.
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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9
MattyiceJun 29, 2012
Very funny at many points, but was a little bit dull at others. This movie was still an amazing first by Seth MacFarlane. It had an originally unexpended, but soon predictable ending. This movie was still great and a must see.
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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2
Mastabrad85Jul 16, 2012
Where to begin? The editing? The wardrobe? The directing? The acting? All were terrible. Yes this is just like family guy but there was really no reason to use stewie
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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6
keltariJul 3, 2012
One expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you'veOne expects a certain type of humor from Seth MacFarlane, and he does deliver... just not enough. If you expect to be laughing the entire time through this movie, you will be disappointed. Its essentially a buddy movie/love story you've seen 1000 times before. Ted himself is rather superfluous, you could replace his character with a person change a few lines of the movie and you wouldn't know it was originally written for a teddy bear.… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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10
Singer1977Jul 4, 2012
I went into this movie hoping to laugh and I did, a lot. If you think family guy is horrible chances are you won't find this movie to be any better. Good thing i'm a fan because it was laugh out loud funny from beginning to end. I willI went into this movie hoping to laugh and I did, a lot. If you think family guy is horrible chances are you won't find this movie to be any better. Good thing i'm a fan because it was laugh out loud funny from beginning to end. I will definitely be buying a copy on Blu-ray the day it's released to catch all the parts I couldn't hear because people were laughing so loud throughout most of the film.… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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6
MrTexasJul 4, 2012
While it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would stillWhile it was funny to a point, I could have just watched a few episodes of Family Guy and got the same exact material. It was built up way too much and like a lot of movies, the previews showed just about all the funny parts. I would still recommend it though for anyone that enjoys McFarlene's TV shows… Expand
2 of 4 users found this helpful22
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8
StevieGJDJul 6, 2012
Ted is not a kids movie, yet I saw tons of kids at the last evening performance. Bad parenting exists. Ted is very crude at times and consistently goes for race humor. But I still thought the movie was funny. Some people will be turnedTed is not a kids movie, yet I saw tons of kids at the last evening performance. Bad parenting exists. Ted is very crude at times and consistently goes for race humor. But I still thought the movie was funny. Some people will be turned off by some of the more extreme comic moments and that's ok. This movie is not for everybody, especially not kids.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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9
coop667Jul 1, 2012
If you do not like Family guy then do not waste your time since this is just a long family guy episode. That said the story is nothing groundbreaking but it does flow well and make sense. Once again if you love family guy chances are youIf you do not like Family guy then do not waste your time since this is just a long family guy episode. That said the story is nothing groundbreaking but it does flow well and make sense. Once again if you love family guy chances are you will enjoy this too.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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6
theofficeJul 8, 2012
The movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "TheThe movie is pretty good. It has the humor of later "Family Guy" episodes mainly filled with one-liners and using drugs and sex to make jokes (which honestly isn't that funny). I think examples of fantastic comedy's are "Anchorman", "The Other Guys", and TV shows like "Seinfeld" and "The Office". Those comedy's all use humorous situations and other comedic tools rather than simple one-liners like Ted. However, the movie is still worth seeing because the story is interesting and I did laugh several times, even though only briefly. I do think they focused a little too much on the love-story aspect with Kunis (who wasn't funny) which ended up taking away from the comedic aspect.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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5
SantiagoMAKiiNAJul 8, 2012
I've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs areI've been a fan of the Family Guy for a while now. Not like I rush to the TV to watch every episode. But when I do catch it usually makes me laugh. The same effect applies to Seth MacFarlane's first directorial effort. The laughs are there...when you get to them. On occasion but not on a consistent basis.
The film was entertaining and I did have a few good laughs. Unfortunately most of them were already in the trailer, so there wasn't much surprise. The plot seemed to drag a bit and it was beyond predictable. When the movie was over, half the theater stretched their arms and stood up with pause. So, obviously, I wasn't the only one that felt the pace left something to be desired.
The digital teddy bear was incredibly well executed, and all the actors performed their parts perfectly. But since we are in the year 2012 and we have all seen our fare share of believable digital characters, a movie needs more than a stuffed animal as a gimmick.
My advice, if you got nothing better to do, are close to a movie theater, and you are not looking to fall off your chair laughing, then go see this one. It'll suffice. But if you wanna cry your heart out, there are far better choices in any online film library. Either way, this movie won't disappoint you.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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4
CruztyLipzJul 2, 2012
In my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watchIn my honest opinion, I had expected more out of Seth. It just feels like he does more effort on family guy, than what he did on Ted. Would I pay again to see the movie? More than likely not. Would I get it on DVD? Yes, but I would only watch it if other friends have not seen it and we could all "try" to laugh together.… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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8
DAMamba789Jul 7, 2012
Funny movie Family Guy fans will love this. Not for kids though. And I felt it was great acting i felt sad at points of the movie. Still see Ted it is different.
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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6
JTKelleyAug 10, 2012
Downright hilarious and offensive, with surprising heart, we've come to suspect nothing less from Seth McFarlane. However, the film is heavy on exposition and low on plot, leading to an unnecessary dragging feeling in spots.
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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10
SILENT_harrisonAug 14, 2012
you can tell that seth macfalane made this from some of the cast down to his style of comedy i knew that this was going to be a good film hope a sequel comes out soon if not maybe put ted in family guy as a guest or even a little nod in oneyou can tell that seth macfalane made this from some of the cast down to his style of comedy i knew that this was going to be a good film hope a sequel comes out soon if not maybe put ted in family guy as a guest or even a little nod in one of those random scenes that has somthing to do with what one of the charecters said anyways watch this movie family guy fans you wont regret it… Expand
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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3
JohnnyStephensAug 30, 2013
Not a good movie at all!!! I didn't like it!!! It's rubbish, it's not funny, it's not dramatic, it's not horror......it's absolutely nothing!!! Oh, I forgot....it's horr....ible!!!!
1 of 2 users found this helpful11
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4
ziff70Jul 2, 2012
Has a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, butHas a few funny sections, but overall lazy humor that depends on jokes about bodily functions and things a 12 year old boy might find funny. If you like that type of thing than check in out. Clever idea, and had a lot of potential, but ultimately was just a raunchier version of Family Guy, only not as good.… Expand
6 of 13 users found this helpful67
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3
marklabJul 1, 2012
Seth MacFarlane has done what no-one else has been able to do - put Mila Kunis in a lousy movie. Don't get me wrong, there were some funny lines and bits, but overall a sloppy conglomeration of R rated Family Guy jokes surrounded by aSeth MacFarlane has done what no-one else has been able to do - put Mila Kunis in a lousy movie. Don't get me wrong, there were some funny lines and bits, but overall a sloppy conglomeration of R rated Family Guy jokes surrounded by a needless "sensitive" plot and totally useless subplot. Save your money, wait for the dvd and watch the 15 minutes that were actually funny.… Expand
5 of 11 users found this helpful56
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1
icepaulJul 8, 2012
Wow!! A movie about a teddy bear that comes to life. This movie is wrong in so many ways. A teddy bear with hookers come on when I think of a movie with a cute teddy bear i think of winnie the poo. a kids movie. Well not here this is notWow!! A movie about a teddy bear that comes to life. This movie is wrong in so many ways. A teddy bear with hookers come on when I think of a movie with a cute teddy bear i think of winnie the poo. a kids movie. Well not here this is not meant for kids and all. Yes it does have few funny moments but not worth watching. If this is where movies have gone its time to read a book… Expand
4 of 9 users found this helpful45
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5
supersigyJul 2, 2012
I was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a goodI was anticipating a roller-coaster of laugh out loud and cringe worthy in steady intervals. Instead Ted really just glides at average speeds. Nothing was absurd or unbearable but nothing was all that funny either. The trailers ruined a good amount of the better material.… Expand
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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10
xHEISENBERGxJul 5, 2012
Very funny movie if you can handle the humor. It is definitely an adult oriented movie......about a teddy bear. Still, I laughed through the entire thing, and really enjoyed it
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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6
wvmoviefanJul 1, 2012
Great concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone andGreat concept and visuals with the bear, itself. Mark Wahlberg was excellent. The problem with the film is Seth MacFarlen, himself. He doesn't know when to pull back! The flatulence jokes and I'm gay/not gay references are overdone and the segment about the "droppings" on the floor goes beyond vulgar.
Those sections might appeal to those 12 and under but MacFarlen's talents are considerable and he needs to aim for audiences that appreciate the adult nature of cartoon life.… Expand
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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8
Free1881Jul 3, 2012
SoSo FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… Expand
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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10
JonRockerJul 8, 2012
Great movie, loved the jokes. great family movie. I think it might be a bit crude at times but it was funny and that's all that matters to me. 10/10 Great Movie
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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5
RikiegeDec 7, 2012
Movie bad but entertaining ...
2 of 5 users found this helpful23
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10
Tashy497Jun 30, 2012
I'm giving this a 10 because I'm a biased Seth MacFarlane fan. Also, if you didn't grow up in the 80s you'll not understand the motivation behind anything Seth does. So sorry anyone under the age of 35.
3 of 8 users found this helpful35
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10
pkgadersonsJul 3, 2012
Good :) .
3 of 8 users found this helpful35
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7
eliteco3Jul 3, 2012
Ted, on it's surface is an episode of family guy stretched out onto the big screen to fill a run time. The film draws from a simple plot we have seen before. A man (Wahlberg) who needs to grow up and settle down with a woman (Kunis). TheTed, on it's surface is an episode of family guy stretched out onto the big screen to fill a run time. The film draws from a simple plot we have seen before. A man (Wahlberg) who needs to grow up and settle down with a woman (Kunis). The Raunchy jokes and unnecessary references to diseases and disorders will indeed rub some viewers raw. On the other hand the film delivers hilarious laughs with the back and forth relationship of Ted and John. Kunis delivers a nice performance reminiscent of her work on That 70's show dealing with Kelso. Ted (Mcfarlane) is the star of this film with his rampant pot smoking and crude behavior. A solid directorial debut for Mcfarlane with even laughs and entertainment to be seen a second time.… Expand
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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7
FrostyJul 1, 2012
Although the movie is pretty funny, it just recycles all of the jokes that were used in Family Guy and uses a different protagonist and more vulgar comedy. The idea for the movie is good and I enjoyed it a lot, but if you aren't a Family GuyAlthough the movie is pretty funny, it just recycles all of the jokes that were used in Family Guy and uses a different protagonist and more vulgar comedy. The idea for the movie is good and I enjoyed it a lot, but if you aren't a Family Guy or Seth MacFarlane fan, you may want to avoid this.… Expand
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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0
hootisNov 18, 2012
This movie was incredibly boring unless you think smoking pot,and having sex is funny. With such a heavy reliance on pop culture this movie will drift into meaninglessness in a mater on months. I find it surprising that some many reviewerThis movie was incredibly boring unless you think smoking pot,and having sex is funny. With such a heavy reliance on pop culture this movie will drift into meaninglessness in a mater on months. I find it surprising that some many reviewer though that this had any real substance because I can't see any, other than some mediocre animations.… Expand
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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8
Shadexx7Jul 11, 2012
It's not really a mature movie. Well, it's not mature at all, but, if you're a fan of Family Guy, you'll love this. The same style of crude humour is still funny here. I was laughing through most of it, although it did slow down near the end.
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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7
JohnnyHollywoodJul 8, 2012
Bear-able.

You want bear puns? Look no further! Thankfully, though, the humour in Ted is somewhat more refined. For most TV show creators, the opportunity to translate their talents to the big screen comes with a license to push boundariesBear-able.

You want bear puns? Look no further! Thankfully, though, the humour in Ted is somewhat more refined. For most TV show creators, the opportunity to translate their talents to the big screen comes with a license to push boundaries in new and exciting ways not available through the medium of television. For Seth MacFarlane, creator of the outrageously outrageous Family Guy and ridiculously underrated American Dad!, it must have just felt like another day at the office. John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is the loneliest kid in Boston. While the other children engage in unique Christmas traditions, John spends his days inside, wishing for just one friend. On Christmas Day, that wish comes true in the form of Ted the stuffed bear (MacFarlane), who is magically transformed into a living being, the miraculous story of which spreads like wildfire across the country. Fast-forward nearly thirty years and Ted's fame has long-since vanished. He and John now spend their days getting high, watching bad movies and managing John's relationship with Lori (Mila Kunis).

As if to state the painfully obvious, the amount of fun to be had with this film is heavily influenced by how familiar one is with MacFarlane's comedic style. Each of his animated creations employ sharp one-liners, bizarre set pieces and a ton of pop culture references, all of which are prominent in Ted. Naturally, the humour is all sorts of politically incorrect, with jokes ranging from drugs to sex to September 11. Highlights include Ted's job interview at the local supermarket, Patrick Stewart's narration and a house party with Sam Jones, star of Ted and John's favourite film of all-time, Flash Gordon.

It is made clear by the closing credits where the bulk of the effort went into making this film, as most jokes hit resulting in an array of instantly quotable material making it difficult to watch Ted without a perpetual smile on your face. With so many references to popular culture jam-packed within two hours, most international viewers are likely to misunderstand jokes about Tom Brady, Pepperidge Farm and those promiscuous 'Bahstan Gahls', but the film does more than enough to keep all viewers chuckling throughout.

The motion-capture argument typically begins and ends with Andy Serkis (The Lord of the Rings, Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and deservedly so, but an honourable mention must go to this film's visual effects team for the creation of Ted who, both voiced and controlled by MacFarlane, looks about as close to believable as can be. The film tends to cruise in areas not pertaining to straight-out comedy, which may be a direct side effect of MacFarlane's first outing in the director's chair. The plot has been done literally thousands of times before and the character arcs established early leave the viewer in no doubt as to where the movie is heading to the extent that, once you take away the fact that Ted is not human, it starts to look a lot more like every deliberately offensive rom-com ever. Regardless, the film refuses to take itself too seriously with plenty of tension-breaking jokes that, along with a multitude of A-list cameos, work a whole lot better than would appear on paper.

Ted begins to deviate from its comedic roots just slightly during the climax set after-hours inside Fenway Park (just out of shot: David Ortiz socking a few dingers), but it does allow for an epilogue that, at least temporarily, strikes the audience off-guard by neatly showcasing the charming bond formed between a man and his bear. Indifferent viewers will enjoy Ted without differentiating it from most other contemporary comedies, while fans of the director's prior work are likely to draw a lot more enjoyment out of every scene.

*There's nothing I love more than a bit of feedback, good or bad. So drop me a line on jnatsis@iprimus.com.au and let me know what you thought of my review. If you're looking for a writer for your movie website or other publication, I'd also love to hear from you.*… Expand
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8
MattInRCJul 3, 2012
This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Ted is unapologetic, raunchiness to the extreme, and the best comedy of the year so far. And, it's got a teddy bear behaving badly. In my youth, I enjoyed the company of my very own Winnie the Pooh bear. I cannot remember if he ever had clothes, but he did have these sewed-on eyes that eventually fell off. I took that bear everywhere: it flew with me on vacations, helped to bag fruits at the grocery store, watched Star Trek:TOS, and basically kept me company through all those nights of being an only child. Pooh was always there for me, kinda like a brother I never had. But, what would happen if Pooh could have talked, becoming a live person with emotions and a personality to boot? What if your favorite toy could talk, but unlike the dolls in Toy Story, yours cussed or misbehaved while you looked on and laughed? That is the premise behind Ted, an absolute raunch-fest that's adorable, yet incredibly anti-PC at the same time, and the best comedy so far of the year. As a result of his childhood wish, eight-year old Johnny Bennett gets the dream of a lifetime fulfilled: his teddy bear begins to talk and act with real human emotions. Ted becomes an overnight phenomenon, appearing on Johnny Carson and confusing Ed McMahon, who refers to him as the puppet alien Alf. Fast forward 27 years, and Ted (Seth MacFarlane) is a forgotten, jaded, foul-mouthed former 80s celebrity who is drinking (yes, drinking) and smoking bongs (yes, it is true) with the now older John (Mark Wahlberg). And just like his Thunder Buddy, John is a manchild loser, working the counter at a Boston rental car company with no interest in moving up. John and Ted are connected at the hip, and their antics (including a great sequence where John rattles off all the 'white trash' girl names he can think of), only makes his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) hope that he will someday marry her and lose the bear. But the two are content to hang out, quoting lines from Flash Gordon, with Ted inviting strippers to the apartment while Lori and John celebrate their four-year anniversary. When the party goes awry (and I mean bad in a seriously stinky way), John kicks Ted out and makes him get a job. Viewed as a mere speed bump, Ted still drags John over to wild parties at his place, and encourages him to ditch work so they can watch the cast of Cheers on DVD talk crap about each other. Lori wants that kind of camaraderie with John, but instead must have jokes explained to her and ultimately learns that John has made her ringtone The Dark Vader Theme from The Empire Strikes Back. Eventually, the line is drawn: ditch the bear, or lose the girl. MacFarlanes feature debut is filled with sharp and terrific one-liners, as well as a teddy bear-human fight that might go down as one of the best throwdowns ever. Wahlberg and Kunis have great chemistry and believably carry off the relationship part of Ted. While too sleazy to be called a classic romantic comedy, our human actors do an excellent job of pouring on the schmaltz in the serious scenes, leaving audiences to wonder whether they should be laughing or crying. MacFarlane's dialogue is so crisp and its execution so flawless that this 106-minute film could have succeeded whether Ted was a CGI bear or not. Ted is also filled with some terrific and well-placed cameos, including the appearance of Flash Gordons Sam Jones.. There is a short but funny kidnapping subplot involving a psychotic dad (Giovanni Ribisi) and his overweight son (whom Ted refers to as Susan Boyle), as well as a house party gone seriously wrong, along with plenty of tips-of-the-hat to those of us raised in the 80s and remember TJ Hooker camping out on car hoods nearly every week. But do not think this is just a romp through 80s raunch: Ted also shines in its ability to lend human traits to fuzzy childhood pals in a way few films can. John's connection with his Thunder Buddy is real and flat out touching at times, especially near the film's end. And while that ending feels rushed, the overall effect is none the worst for wear. Again, let me be clear: Ted is definitely not a heartwarming, feel-good film about children and their stuffed companions. It is way too perverse and definitely not for kids, and (without giving it away) the end will honestly be too traumatic for them. That should not keep anyone of age from skipping the most hilarious film I have seen since The Hangover. Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, take note: this is how raunch is done right. Ted reminds us of the strange habits of our youth and the unswerving connection we had to our childhood toys. But, it also takes us back to a time when we took everything for granted, when our bears and dolls protected us during thunderstorms and laughed with us on the swing set. And while my Pooh Bear is still in a plastic bag in the garage, it might be time to dust him off, although I doubt I will catch him dry-humping a counter or doing cocaine in our bathroom.… Expand
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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10
rjjJul 14, 2012
eyes watered it was funny then funnyKnicksfan7 Jun 29, 201210 I fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feeleyes watered it was funny then funnyKnicksfan7 Jun 29, 201210 I fi had to define this movie in two words, they would be hilariously awesome. Ted was just plain great, great story, great acting, hilarious jokes, and just an overally great feel to the film. Unlike many comedies nowadays this one actually gets you to care for the characters. Ted was just a great film. If you don't enjoy crude humour then you won't enjoy this at all. Every joke involved is crude, from rascist jokes, to smoking and drinking, to fat jokes, to every kind of crudeness you can think of, but what you have to realize though, is its a joke, nothing more, and frankly i found it absolutely hilarious, i was crying because i was laughing so hard. Ted gets a 10/10 for me, if you don't like crude then stay away, if you don't mind crude then you're sure to have a damn good time.… Expand
1 of 3 users found this helpful12
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0
RickeyJul 1, 2012
Movie TED review. Dumb movie. Save your money for another. Leave out the R material and perfect for children. 7 friends viewed day 2 and all voted rotten, waist of time and money. Why write a 150 words, for a review is ridiculous read noMovie TED review. Dumb movie. Save your money for another. Leave out the R material and perfect for children. 7 friends viewed day 2 and all voted rotten, waist of time and money. Why write a 150 words, for a review is ridiculous read no further. When I review anything I don't want it to be wordy get to the point. Saw another movie Magic Mike, it was R but better than this, but buy NO, watch again, NO. I and friends see lot of movies many types. Movie makers think over 18 must have children s minds? I have seen great movies, funny ones, Hangover, Without a A Paddle, Great Race. For comedy, many others I am sure but these come to mind. Had a hard time finding a place to post this. I don't do this often but felt this one needs to be told. Reviews I read we good, don't see how that could be true. This movie TED could have been made for children and it would have been a great movie, they would love it. Did a children, teen, think this up? Make it PG 13 leaving out the inappropriate parts changing them. And could have worked.… Expand
3 of 10 users found this helpful37
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9
DuffladJun 30, 2012
This movie was great for moving comedy films into a new generation like 21 Jump Street. These movies seemingly haven't held back to appeal to reviewers. They care less about the reviewer and more about entertaining average joe, particularilyThis movie was great for moving comedy films into a new generation like 21 Jump Street. These movies seemingly haven't held back to appeal to reviewers. They care less about the reviewer and more about entertaining average joe, particularily in the younger generations. Ted was bold in many instances, particularly the part when Ted said Johns singing was "Still better than Katy Perry." I found this awesome because her movie debuted the same day, and I hope and believe Ted does leagues better. THIS FILM IS A MATURE FILM. TAKE YOUR KIDS AT YOUR OWN RISK CANADIANS. Americans have a more strict rating system. :P… Expand
1 of 4 users found this helpful13
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10
kuehnauSep 3, 2012
It seems that in the last few years it has become "popular" to hate Seth MacFarlane, it's sad, but true. Writers, artists and common people alike seem to either hate him or love him. Seth MacFarlane has abrand of humor you either get andIt seems that in the last few years it has become "popular" to hate Seth MacFarlane, it's sad, but true. Writers, artists and common people alike seem to either hate him or love him. Seth MacFarlane has abrand of humor you either get and appreciate or hate and loathe. I have always liked Seth MacFarlane, because his brand of humor is a lot like mine, his throught process, the way he talks and writes, I can connect to that, I understand him and that makes him even more appealing to me.

"Ted" is about the story of a boy and his teddy bear. Wishing upon a magical Christmas star, a young man is granted a gift to bring his teddy bear to life. Starting off as a local and eventually global celebrity, Ted and his owner eventually grow up and become "adults". This story has a lot of wonderful meanings to it, as wel as a lot of fun jokes and considerations for everyone to appreciate. Don't ever give up on your inner child and never let go of your best friend, no matter what.… Expand
1 of 4 users found this helpful13
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0
bryantAWESOMEJun 30, 2012
My First Review! 
I loved every second of this movie. Yes, some parts were a bit cliché, but that's all a part of Seth Macfarlen's humor. Great movie from start to end, I highly recommend this movie; Especially with friends 
3 of 19 users found this helpful316
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0
bamsyJul 23, 2012
In giving this a zero, I am giving it too high of a rating. It really deserves a negative number. This movie was nothing more than an expose of vulgarity. Its popularity is indicative of the moral deprivation of our society!
1 of 9 users found this helpful18
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8
BHBarryJul 15, 2012
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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5
BKMJan 17, 2013
MacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most partyMacFarlane is a genuinely talented and funny guy, but Ted too often feels like an episode of Family Guy stretched far too thin. There's plenty of pop cultural references, 80's nostalgia, crude humor and inside jokes but for the most party they don't feel particularly original or funny. You get the sense that there's a truly uproarious 30 minute short film trying to break free from this overstuffed story.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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9
fantasyJul 30, 2012
Just a very funny original movie that will leave you howling. Loved it. Ted just told me that this review must be 150 words or longer. I hope I get an A? Are we back in Junior High School? C'mon the movie was a scream. Just go and enjoy it.
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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7
TVJerryJul 13, 2012
If you appreciate "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's irreverent brand of humor (bodily functions, racial and sexual jibes, liberal four-letters), you're bound to love his first feature. Mark Wahlberg plays a mid-thirties man who's stillIf you appreciate "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane's irreverent brand of humor (bodily functions, racial and sexual jibes, liberal four-letters), you're bound to love his first feature. Mark Wahlberg plays a mid-thirties man who's still dependent on his teddy bear, which became his real-life best friend when he was a boy. This causes problems with his job performance and his human relationship (Mila Kunis). Having a cuddly stuffed animal that cusses constantly, smokes pot and is sex-obsessed is sufficient source of comedy for many, but writer/Ted's voice MacFarlane manages a steady stream of truly funny wisecracks (and no group is spared). The rest of the cast and predictable plot basically serve to support Ted's tour de force.… Expand
0 of 1 users found this helpful01
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3
TheQuietGamerJan 10, 2014
I fail to see what so many people find funny about this movie. As a former fan of both American Dad and Family Guy I had high hopes for this movie, especially because the trailers looked hilarious. Unfortunately I found that 99% of the moviesI fail to see what so many people find funny about this movie. As a former fan of both American Dad and Family Guy I had high hopes for this movie, especially because the trailers looked hilarious. Unfortunately I found that 99% of the movies funny material is in the trailer. This is a movie that tries to get by on vulgarity alone. It's like Seth MacFarlane is hoping that you'll ignore how unnecessarily vulgar this movie is and laugh at it just because a teddy bear is the one doing these crude and painfully unfunny things.

As far as the plot goes it's a tale about growing up mixed with both a rom-com and a bromance flick. An interesting combination to say the least, but the shear unbridled obscenity of the "humor" drowns out any hint of sentimentality this movie might have had. I don't mind vulgar humor as long as it's funny, and I just can't view this movie as funny. To me it's like Seth MacFarlane had so much pent up dirty humor inside him that he couldn't unleash on one of his TV shows, that he just decided to cram as much of it as he could into a movie with out any thought or care about whether or not it was actually funny.

I found this to be a colossal waste of my time and the film never got anything more from a chuckle from me. I don't personally recommend it, but you might be like a lot of the other people out there who enjoyed the film. All I can say is that I found the film to be vulgar just for the sake of being vulgar, and was willing to sacrifice humor in order to be so. Clearly there's something to like here as so many people have enjoyed the movie. In my personal opinion this movie isn't funny. In the end all I can do is just give you my opinion and tell you to do with that information what you will. Like I said I didn't enjoy the movie, but many people did. Do with that info what you will.… Expand
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8
JonnyFendiJan 21, 2013
What
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7
sinadoomApr 16, 2013
Ted is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybeTed is a great movie. It's a film that anyone of any age can enjoy because it has a good story which is easy to follow, well directed and funny. The right actors were chosen, the length is perfect and it's never boring throughout. OK so maybe the film isn't as laugh out loud or ROFL funny as it could've been, and the story is somewhat similar to Garfield, but on the whole Ted is a solid film which is suitable for everyone.… Expand
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0
MikefromAngusJan 10, 2013
What a disappointment!!! from time to time, I do like watching "The family guy" I find the humor funny. But this movie, seemed like it was a clone of the family guy, made with real actors, but heres the thing, it wasnt funny! I might ofWhat a disappointment!!! from time to time, I do like watching "The family guy" I find the humor funny. But this movie, seemed like it was a clone of the family guy, made with real actors, but heres the thing, it wasnt funny! I might of laughed a few times, but overall the movie draged on and on!… Expand
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