Super Mario Bros.

Scenery rushes by, noise blares, characters pop up wearing new costumes that they couldn't possibly have had time to change into as they eluded their adversaries.

Kids will probably love this film but, to be frank, most children aren't that discriminating (apologies to the few who are). There's nothing in the film that's reprehensible (although some may find the concept of a one-hundred five minute commercial for a game offensive in itself), but I find it hard to believe that many adults accompanying their youngsters will be entertained. In general, about the best recommendation I can come up with regarding this movie is to turn on the Nintendo and play a game yourself. You'll have more fun, spend less money, and it will be over a whole lot faster. Read full review

All the Drano in the world couldn't fix what's clogging the works in Super Mario Bros. [1 June 1993, p.6D]

The movie knocks your eyes out, at the same time it dulls the mind’s eye. Ultimately, it’s one more stop in the arcade, beckoning, waiting to soak up time and money. Read full review

Loud, frenetic and facile, Super Mario Bros. is full of noisy sound and cartoon fury, signifying… a sequel. Read full review

Despite eye-catching sets and smart casting, this first feature-length film to be adapted from a video game is a bloated muddle. Read full review

Super Mario Bros. ain't no game, but it ain't no movie, either. The huge, busy, empty, uninvolving mess is marooned halfway between narrative and spectacle, neither fully one nor the other. [28 May 1993]

Of course, expecting Super Mario Bros. -- a live-action version of the kid-addictive Nintendo game -- to be a complex experience is like looking for Pauly Shore to win appointment to the Supreme Court. Plenty of talented people obviously worked hard on Super Mario Bros. to create something they hope will seem imaginative. But they're all trying to breathe life into a marketing decision. [31 May 1993, p.B04]

Yes, designer David L Snyder has done wonders with the set; yes, there's decent photography and effects; yes, the giant Goombas are splendid. But the whole is not a dinosaur, it's a dog. It will baffle kids, bore adolescents, and depress adults. Read full review

Stands out as a prime example of what not to do when trying to construct a watertight feature-length narrative on the foundations of a simplistic platform game. Read full review

There are plenty of gags, but not one laugh in the whole farrago...There’s nothing original about “Mario,” and the absence of tension or an interesting narrative makes it tedious in the extreme. Read full review

Super Mario Bros. devotes half its run time to lumbering exposition, yet still makes no f.cking sense. Seldom has a film done such heavy lifting to such meager effect. Read full review