Memoirs of a Geisha
Columbia Pictures | Release Date: December 9, 2005 CRITIC SCORE DISTRIBUTION
54
METASCORE
Mixed or average reviews based on 38 Critic Reviews
Positive:
16
Mixed:
19
Negative:
3
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Critic Reviews

Critic scorePublicationBy date
60
The A.V. ClubScott Tobias
The film comes to life whenever the cartoonishly vindictive Gong throws a tantrum, but she played virtually the same role in Zhang Yimou's "Shanghai Triad," which presented a far more compelling rationale for her star fits. Without her, this expensive piece of backlot pageantry turns vivid history into an ossified tchotchke. Read full review
60
Washington PostStephen Hunter
Memoirs of a Geisha is everything you'd expect it to be: beautiful, mesmerizing, tasteful, Japanese. It's just not very hot. Read full review
60
Chicago ReaderAndrea Gronvall
The international Asian stars gamely tackle their English-language roles, aided by superior costumes, makeup, and set design. But despite all the hothouse intrigue, the film lacks passion. Read full review
60
EmpireAngie Errigo
A beautiful, exotic and well-acted cultural hybrid, but it’s never as moving as it ought to be. Read full review
58
Entertainment WeeklyLisa Schwarzbaum
Not since "Snow Falling on Cedars" have I seen so pedigreed a lit-pic sit there like such an inert teapot, available only to be admired for its mysterious, ineffable Asian teapotness. Read full review
58
Christian Science MonitorPeter Rainer
Beautiful geishas flit and whoosh through the equally beautiful scenery. Their kimonos are artworks-in-motion. So why is the film so boring? It could be because director Rob Marshall is so transfixed by all the ritualistic hoo-ha that he never brings the story down to earth. Read full review
58
Baltimore SunMichael Sragow
Memoirs of a Geisha was never primed to be a film that burns down the house. Read full review
50
The New York TimesManohla Dargis
Mr. Marshall can't rescue the film from its embarrassing screenplay or its awkward Chinese-Japanese-Hollywood culture klatch, but Memoirs of a Geisha is one of those bad Hollywood films that by virtue of their production values nonetheless afford a few dividends, in this case, fabulous clothes and three eminently watchable female leads. Read full review
50
Wall Street JournalJoe Morgenstern
Oh, what awful voices -- clumsy words as well as cheesy accents -- come out of the actors' mouths! Though I wanted to appreciate the human story, and the lavish spectacle, I couldn't get past the clangorous echoes of Charlie Chan.
50
New York PostKyle Smith
It's based on a novel, but you'd guess it came from a coffee-table book. Marvelous design, photography and costuming mark this period piece. Read full review
50
San Francisco ChronicleMick LaSalle
Too labored and cliched to incite passion in an audience. Read full review
50
SalonStephanie Zacharek
There's no life, no juice, in the picture. Instead of tempting you into submission, it merely drugs you. It's surprising that a filmmaker who gave us such a lively debut, "Chicago," could slap us with a picture as dull and worthy as this one. Read full review
50
The New YorkerDavid Denby
Somehow the movie that Rob Marshall has made from Golden's novel is a snooze. How did he and the screenwriter, Robin Swicord, let their subject get away from them? Read full review
50
Dallas ObserverLuke Y. Thompson
Director Rob Marshall, as he did in "Chicago," plays the movie as though it's all an embellished memory inside the head of geisha Sayuri (Ziyi Zhang), but why would she remember everyone speaking in choppy English? Read full review
50
Chicago TribuneMichael Phillips
Colleen Atwood's costumes are the best a film adaptation of a popular book can buy. They rustle like nobody's business. The film itself is equal parts silk and polyester. Read full review
50
Philadelphia InquirerSteven Rea
A lush, lovely snooze-fest. Read full review
50
Austin ChronicleKimberley Jones
Well, we're not in "Chicago" anymore, or even its soundstage approximation, but that hasn't stopped Oscar-nominated director Rob Marshall from fashioning another epic spectacle out of two squabbling women in (a sort-of) show business. Read full review
40
SlateDavid Edelstein
It skips lightly over the surface of its rich material, more preoccupied with making pretty pictures than dipping below the surface so that you can experience the world through the eyes of its traumatized, yet increasingly savvy, heroine. Read full review
40
NewsweekStaff (Not credited)
Trying too hard to grab our attention, he (Marshall) loses it. The art of the geisha prizes subtlety, stillness, grace. Why doesn't this movie? Read full review
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