Mean Machine

Name: Mean Machine
Genre: Drama, Sport, Comedy
Released: February 22, 2002
Duration: 99 min
Rating: 45
Cast: Vinnie Jones

2002

METASCORE

Mixed or average reviews based on 25 Critic Reviews

See All

USER SCORE

Generally favorable reviews based on 28 Ratings

See All

7.9

VOTE NOW

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

7.9	Your Score
7.9	User Score Generally favorable reviews based on 28 Ratings

Would you like to write a review?

There is a 75 character minimum for reviews. If your review contains spoilers, please check the Spoiler box. Please do not use ALL CAPS. There is no linking or other HTML allowed. Your review may be edited for content. 0/5000

Check box if your review contains spoilers

Play Sound

Please enter your birth date to watch this video:

You are not allowed to view this material at this time.

Mean Machine

Now Playing: Mean Machine

Movie Details & Credits

Paramount Classics | Release Date: February 22, 2002 | R

Starring: Vinnie Jones

Summary: This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison, where murderers, thieves and assorted madmen are locked away. One inmate is about to lead them all in the ultimate battle of their degenerate lives -- but no one could have guessed it would be a soccer match! (Paramount Classics)

Director: Barry Skolnick

Genre(s): Drama, Sport, Comedy

Rating: R

Runtime: 99 min

See All Details and Credits

Watch Now

Buy on

Stream On

Metascore

Positive:

Mixed:

Negative:

Critic Reviews

Steven Rea

A likably energetic star vehicle for English sports god Vinnie Jones. Read full review

Andrew O'Hehir

I'm not sure Mean Machine is any worse than "The Longest Yard," but it lacks the nihilistic '70s background that lent the latter's combination of humor and brutality an air of (arguably bogus) social commentary. Read full review

Lou Lumenick

Accomplishes a near miracle -- this British import makes you yearn for Burt Reynolds, who appeared in a vastly more entertaining version of the same story. Read full review

Paul Malcolm

It does, however, fairly bubble with speed-freak energy and a dry, laddish wit that keeps the jokes coming. Read full review

Elizabeth Weitzman

In Mean Machine, soccer is pretty much an excuse to watch a bunch of grown men smashing their heads together. Which, come to think of it, may be enough. Read full review

Scott Tobias

While competently staged and punched up by Lock, Stock's changing camera speeds, it doesn't have the wit or intrigue to sustain its half-length. Read full review

New Times (L.A.) Luke Y. Thompson

If you have any desire to see this movie, you really should go rent "The Longest Yard" instead. It's available on DVD, and the '70s hairdos alone are worth the rental price. Read full review

SEE ALL 25 REVIEWS

Write a Review

User Reviews

MartinH.

Sep 3, 2006

Great movie! Action, Drama, and Comedy all in one package.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

k.f.

Mar 21, 2005

Best film ever.

0 of 1 users found this helpful

[Anonymous]

Sep 22, 2005

Excellent movie the monk is a ledge.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

AlexW.

Oct 20, 2005

I know is This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison. BUT independent of it is an excellent performance, great humour, nice picture, music goes right to the action on film, every detail is there. I think even it is and adaptation it is I know is This British remake of 1974's "The Longest Yard" is set in a rough-and-tumble British prison. BUT independent of it is an excellent performance, great humour, nice picture, music goes right to the action on film, every detail is there. I think even it is and adaptation it is a much better version. New times are sometimes better. I love the movie, I laugh and laugh.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

KC_RV_2022

Jan 30, 2022

A film that never forgets what it sets out to do, keep you entertained and to make you laugh and it delivers from start to finish. Great bloke jokes and one liners. The cast are great and most deliver sound performances except for Statham who needs to work on accents. Stephen Walters puts inA film that never forgets what it sets out to do, keep you entertained and to make you laugh and it delivers from start to finish. Great bloke jokes and one liners. The cast are great and most deliver sound performances except for Statham who needs to work on accents. Stephen Walters puts in a sound performance as Nitro 'the slaverer' but why would you want to put that on screen? It's gross and puts you off watching. The final scenes are brilliant and the commentators are outstanding.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

ERG1008

Sep 1, 2010

English remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving, assault, etc then ends up in prison with several unsavoury characters.
He then gets together a team of inmates to play against the guards. It's ok inEnglish remake of the 1970's Burt Reynolds American football romp.
Former England captain, off the rails, gets arrested for drink driving, assault, etc then ends up in prison with several unsavoury characters.
He then gets together a team of inmates to play against the guards.
It's ok in parts, Jones plays himself, Statham is ok until he speaks & it's all a bit bland. David Kelly & Danny Dyer are good though & the music isn't too bad.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

SEE ALL 6 REVIEWS