G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

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bpAug 12, 2009

As a huge fan of the toys and a lover of bad movies, this is by far the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a sad day when Marlon Wayans is the best part of a movie (that's not a compliment Marlon). Start to finish this film (if As a huge fan of the toys and a lover of bad movies, this is by far the worst movie I've ever seen. It's a sad day when Marlon Wayans is the best part of a movie (that's not a compliment Marlon). Start to finish this film (if you can call it that) lacks on every level save for lighting. Kudos to the DP and Gaffer. As for Stephen Sommers, I wouldn't trust that guy with cleaning my bathroom, let alone a 175 million dollar movie. If I could give this a lower score I would.… Expand

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8

NinaBAug 12, 2009

I went on a weekday, the theater was full and everyone had a good time. How much more do you want from a summer action movie? The effects are spectacular, the women are beautiful, Channing Tatum holds down the star role. Come December I went on a weekday, the theater was full and everyone had a good time. How much more do you want from a summer action movie? The effects are spectacular, the women are beautiful, Channing Tatum holds down the star role. Come December I'll be ready to watch the Oscar contenders, but Joe delivers a rockin' summer night!… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

SamuelSAug 12, 2009

Best action movie EVER!!! It was so detailed. Plot was easy to follow and well written. Acting phenomenal. Awesome movie.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

LuizEAug 12, 2009

A Piece of FUN, a lot of action and great special effects, good history. Its 10 to me, enormously entertaining.

2 of 2 users found this helpful

5

MichaelAAug 12, 2009

A fun action flick with cool chase scene, but unfortunately balanced with dumb one liner, stupid dialogues, and robotic acting.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

KellyJAug 11, 2009

I loved the movie the same way a mother loves her special needs son. I grew up on GI Joe and while there were plenty of eye roller moments, I freaking LOVED seeing my favorite cartoon come to life. I enjoyed turning off my adult senses of I loved the movie the same way a mother loves her special needs son. I grew up on GI Joe and while there were plenty of eye roller moments, I freaking LOVED seeing my favorite cartoon come to life. I enjoyed turning off my adult senses of taste and now I finally understand why some people liked Transformers 2.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

JacobPAug 11, 2009

It's always nice when you go to see a movie and expect it to be poor, but it turns to be pretty good. That's what I was expecting of GI Joe. I mean expectations couldn't lower. A movie: based on a cartoon from the 80's: It's always nice when you go to see a movie and expect it to be poor, but it turns to be pretty good. That's what I was expecting of GI Joe. I mean expectations couldn't lower. A movie: based on a cartoon from the 80's: based on a doll for boys. You can't really sink expectations any lower, so by the viral advertising they've been doing I was half hoping it'd turn out to be fun. It's not so much though; it sort of coasts by on nostalgia. Had I watched GI Joe as a kid or got into the mythos I imagine I would've gotten a lot more out of it, but instead there's clunky CGI, boring action scenes of which the best are featured in the trailer, the granted bit of military propaganda and jokes you see coming miles away. The film is about a solider called Duke, who CAN"T ACT to save his soul; numerous times throughout the movie I kept wondering 'What is up with this guy?' He mumbles his dialogue like a sooky boy who can't get his way and he wears the same expression throughout the whole films. Every time he opened his mouth I could feel my eyebrows going up my head in dread anticipation. Earlier I was saying that I was expecting this movie to be a guilty pleasure but in the end I just felt guilty for wasting 10 dollars on it; Duke is a factor. If anything, it shows you where rock-hard abs can get you. Marlon Waynes is in it too; he's the buddy of the hero and of course MUST play the comic relief; most of it though is him hitting on the sole female member of GI Joe and her turning him down and also a stupid joke about the difference between white people and black people. It was odd watching him hitting on that female soldier though; because each attempt was a crude attempt and in reality she would have complained about sexual harassment. Because it is sexual harassment! It's not funny; do not think it's okay to do. Anyway, by and by, these two knuckleheads join "GI Joe", which is a top secret tier of American government; similar to FOXHOUND or CONTROL from Get Smart or even Team America from Team America. in order to fight the villain Destro, who's played by the great Christopher Eccleston. Eccleston never mails it in in whatever he's performing and this is no exception. Every so often you get tremendously talented actors who star in atrocious films; like Ben Kingsly in Bloodrayne or Tommy Lee Jones in Hunted; and that's not the case with Eccleston. This is a bad movie, but he gives it his all, just like everything else he has a hand with. It's nice to see. Anyway, there's a lot of boring, uninspired and completely forgettable shooting and fighting sequences; lots of CGI. What is it with all this CGI? Why does every movie have it? It's rarely done well. I've only seen it done discernibly in a few films; I miss the days of puppets and animatronics. There's an underwater part of the movie; it's a bit like watching a pixar cartoon. A poorly done pixar cartoon. At the end of the day, this film is a clone of Team America: World Police, only without the puppets and with zero humour. Team America was made in order to parody dumb, cookie-cutter films like this and It was odd seeing the parallels. From the cut and run remarks and one-liners they spout, to the scene where the joes are enjoying a little R guaranteed you've seen this movie before. Funnily enough, there's even a scene where the bad guys go to France, and yes: collapse the Eiffel Tower with a rocket propelled grenade. I would recommend either renting Team America instead of seeing GI Joe or getting into Metal Gear Solid if you want a fantastical take on the military. Big Boss and his sons greatly outweigh both the GI Joe's and the Cobras in terms of style.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

TylerCAug 11, 2009

Yet another movie to satisfy ten and below year-olds with a basic plot and a bunch of obvious, fake, computer animation.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

NathanKAug 11, 2009

It wasn't as bad as everyone says it is. I have never seen a G. I. Joe episode, but no matter, the movie was entertaining and the characters, especially the villains, were quite memorable.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

BenCAug 11, 2009

So it's no Batman, but there is some fun here - I think particularly for people familiar with the franchise. If I didn't know anything about GI Joe and saw this, I'd be much more critical. But, as I do, it was fun to see the So it's no Batman, but there is some fun here - I think particularly for people familiar with the franchise. If I didn't know anything about GI Joe and saw this, I'd be much more critical. But, as I do, it was fun to see the old action figures running around (despite new suits and well, LAME looking vehicles - seriously, if they make toys out of those planes and subs, blech!) Don't expect too much, and this should be fun. I went into thinking about every GI Joe storyline I ever made myself; at some point they'll crash into the sofa and a 'giant' cat will sit on Cobra Commander. With that kind of childhood precedent, this plot was much better. … Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

AnonymousMCAug 11, 2009

Where is the love for this film? its all well and good to pan a film saying it has no depth, but its not meant to, when i was a kid the only thing going through my mind was "snake eyes, is bad ass" i truly wish the critics would wake up andWhere is the love for this film? its all well and good to pan a film saying it has no depth, but its not meant to, when i was a kid the only thing going through my mind was "snake eyes, is bad ass" i truly wish the critics would wake up and stop being so pathetically preachy… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

****Aug 11, 2009

Anyone who rates this movie more than 2 is a complete fucking moron and deserves to be wiped from the face of the earth.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

2

markjAug 11, 2009

Ernie Pyle must be spinning in his grave. G.I. Joe is a complete waste of time and money for anyone who has an I.Q. higher than room temperature. On the other hand, village idiots with an extra ten bucks in their pockets to spare will find Ernie Pyle must be spinning in his grave. G.I. Joe is a complete waste of time and money for anyone who has an I.Q. higher than room temperature. On the other hand, village idiots with an extra ten bucks in their pockets to spare will find enough explosions and pretty colors in it to keep them amused. … Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

GeorgeS.Aug 11, 2009

Certainly not a cinematic masterpiece like Citizen Kane or A Clockwork Orange, but still enormously entertaining. The story is not entirely ludicrous, and the characters, while not exactly dynamic, are also a ton of fun. In short, worth your Certainly not a cinematic masterpiece like Citizen Kane or A Clockwork Orange, but still enormously entertaining. The story is not entirely ludicrous, and the characters, while not exactly dynamic, are also a ton of fun. In short, worth your money, if you are from 14-45, and unless you've got a massive pole up your ass, like King Art Snob David down there.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful

5

AaronR.Aug 10, 2009

I just want to say i hope star wars 8 is not the next movie. as i was thinking that's star wars and that's star wars. any way star wars 7 was good i mean Gi Joe.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

3

VBAug 10, 2009

I had mixed feelings at the end of the movie, however it was more towards the negative side. I thought the writing was terrible, if anything, and I also used to watch the cartoons, but the movie was a bit too corny for my liking. The story I had mixed feelings at the end of the movie, however it was more towards the negative side. I thought the writing was terrible, if anything, and I also used to watch the cartoons, but the movie was a bit too corny for my liking. The story was not that great, I thought the end twist was definitely a highlight to the plot, but other than that.... movie was pretty bad. Definitely similar to Transformers 2 but no where near how good Transformers was.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

MichaelAug 10, 2009

I get that it's not supposed to be taken seriously and that it's based off the cartoon. It's still a dumb movie, poorly directed and acted (ignoring Eccleston), and Cobra Commander has the worst voice ever for a villain. A I get that it's not supposed to be taken seriously and that it's based off the cartoon. It's still a dumb movie, poorly directed and acted (ignoring Eccleston), and Cobra Commander has the worst voice ever for a villain. A complete waste of my time.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

R.HAug 10, 2009

I really enjoyed this movie. It had great action, comedy, actors fit the characters, was kind of cheesy. But hey so were the G.I. Joe cartoons! I grew up with G.I. Joe and I think they did a good job all around.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

RichardAug 10, 2009

Everyone is too busy looking to a movie for art instead of pure entertainment. Look people, did you watch GI Joe when you were a kid? Are you too young to have watched it?? Who cares??? If you want non-stop over the top fun and action go Everyone is too busy looking to a movie for art instead of pure entertainment. Look people, did you watch GI Joe when you were a kid? Are you too young to have watched it?? Who cares??? If you want non-stop over the top fun and action go watch this movie. If you're looking for artsy fartsy crap, go to the fricken art museum.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

CoryCAug 10, 2009

I'm a huge fan of 80's G.I. Joe and I was very satisfied with this rethinking/ modern version. This was an origins story to all the major characters and very well-done considering they had to fit it all in under 2 hrs. Hard to do I'm a huge fan of 80's G.I. Joe and I was very satisfied with this rethinking/ modern version. This was an origins story to all the major characters and very well-done considering they had to fit it all in under 2 hrs. Hard to do but they did it and it was super fun. It did what all comic book/cartoon movies have to do which is justify these fictional characters in the "real" world (or as real as the cinematic world gets!) Hats off to Sommers et al. You didn't disappoint the real fans of G.I. Joe. Hate on, haters... Yo Joe!… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

AaronWAug 10, 2009

I loved the movie. It captured the simple action experience I had from my youth in a live action film.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

DavidLAug 10, 2009

I don't believe any of the top critics have ever watched the G.I. Joe cartoon, which is exactly the targeted audience. They should relax.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

JessGAug 10, 2009

Excellent. So many visual effects, good story, the critic destroyed it but it was a very good movie. It's hard to adapt a movie from the cartoons but it was a very good job. Congratulations top the producers, actors and everybody who Excellent. So many visual effects, good story, the critic destroyed it but it was a very good movie. It's hard to adapt a movie from the cartoons but it was a very good job. Congratulations top the producers, actors and everybody who was involved in this project.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

DavidWAug 10, 2009

To Justin O, Wrong, movies are not just a form of entertainment. They are an art form that thousands upon thousands of collective man hours and money are poured into. As audience, we should do no less than expect a work of art if we are not To Justin O, Wrong, movies are not just a form of entertainment. They are an art form that thousands upon thousands of collective man hours and money are poured into. As audience, we should do no less than expect a work of art if we are not only paying them, but giving them hours of our lives. I would argue that people need to expect far MORE from the movies they see. Only then will the industry turn around from this type of garbage.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

TylerSAug 10, 2009

This movie was everything the GIjoe cartoons of my childhood where. Over the top action, crazy doomsday weapons and a last minute save by GI Joe. I wasn't cray about the ending they gave Baroness. but i feel they definitely left room This movie was everything the GIjoe cartoons of my childhood where. Over the top action, crazy doomsday weapons and a last minute save by GI Joe. I wasn't cray about the ending they gave Baroness. but i feel they definitely left room for a sequel, and hopefully they will have flint and Lady J this time.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

DavidGAug 10, 2009

The critic always destroy a movie based in cartoons, I loved this movie, I think it was amazing! Many people will say that is unrealistic but I think NOTHING IN THE MOVIE WORLD COULD BE UNREALISTIC! Excellent Movie, I would like for the next The critic always destroy a movie based in cartoons, I loved this movie, I think it was amazing! Many people will say that is unrealistic but I think NOTHING IN THE MOVIE WORLD COULD BE UNREALISTIC! Excellent Movie, I would like for the next movie a non human enemy.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

DWAug 10, 2009

Succeeds where Transformers 2 failed. It's dumb, sure, but it's not stupid to the point of feeling insulting. Moves along at a good pace, and doesn't really give you much time or reason to stop and think about how ridiculous Succeeds where Transformers 2 failed. It's dumb, sure, but it's not stupid to the point of feeling insulting. Moves along at a good pace, and doesn't really give you much time or reason to stop and think about how ridiculous it is. Of course a lot of it is obviously ridiculous, but what do you expect from a live action G.I. Joe cartoon? You can point at laugh at the moments of bad CGI (like, say, the polar bear) if that's your thing, but really this movie had it where it counted (the big Paris chase scene and most of the other big action sequences, aka most of the movie). A worthwhile escape from the heat and real life.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

Dr.JimAug 10, 2009

I don't get these reviews. I read the NY Times and The New Yorker, listen to NPR, and dont' have TV, so you would think I would hate something as mindless as GI Joe. But A.O. Scott at the NY Times and so many other reviewers are I don't get these reviews. I read the NY Times and The New Yorker, listen to NPR, and dont' have TV, so you would think I would hate something as mindless as GI Joe. But A.O. Scott at the NY Times and so many other reviewers are thinking too much. With a "blockbuster" like GI Joe, you have to suspend disbelief (yes, I know it's supposed to be "suspend belief, but I think my phrase is more accurate) and just go with what GI Joe is about: action, cool weapons and technology, beautiful women, however utterly implausible it is. If you like this sort of action/adventure movie, you'll like GI Joe. Heck, I loved GI Joe!!… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

NeilBAug 10, 2009

OK. Nothing crazy. The scene in France was really pretty amazing and gave me hope. The ending was just lets all the air out of the balloon.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

4

AndyLAug 10, 2009

A largely aquatic movie accented by a lot of broken glass.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

FishSAug 10, 2009

Dumb but lots of fun. Revenge of the Fallen coulda been this good if it followed a similar running time.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

DanielNAug 10, 2009

This movie was so bad i walked out of the cinema half way through. sometimes you can tell if a movie is going to be complete crap or not by the first 30 minutes. this was one of them.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

JaxAug 10, 2009

Utterly, utterly bad. How could people even compare this to Transformers ROTF? Now that was a mind-numbing action movie. This wasnt even impressive CGI. Seriously... ICE FLOATS!!! so it cant fall down and crush your enemies if you're in Utterly, utterly bad. How could people even compare this to Transformers ROTF? Now that was a mind-numbing action movie. This wasnt even impressive CGI. Seriously... ICE FLOATS!!! so it cant fall down and crush your enemies if you're in the middle of an underwater battle.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

3

ChadSAug 9, 2009

A filmmaker in 1955 could shoot a white hot light accompanied by some minatory sound effect exuding from a lead box, and still leave his audience mesmerized. That, of course, was Robert Aldrich's "Kiss Me Deadly", and the source of that A filmmaker in 1955 could shoot a white hot light accompanied by some minatory sound effect exuding from a lead box, and still leave his audience mesmerized. That, of course, was Robert Aldrich's "Kiss Me Deadly", and the source of that mysterious luminescence was nuclear, probably plutonium. Against Mike Hammer's protestations, the dame wanted that box. The contents of the millitary case in "G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra" is no mystery; it's four nuclear warheads, and Ana(Sienna Miller) covets that case. She's willing to kill her ex-fiance(played by Channing Tatum) for it. Now married to a wealthy nuclear physicist, my internal film reference alarm went off when Ana kisses her husband deadly(some colleague stabs him from behind) while in a cinch; a post-liminiary result that followed his activation of the bomb. Although there's nothing remotely noirish about this special effects-laden film, Ana's transformation into a bad girl after she changes her hair color is very femme-fatale like. A filmmaker in 1955 could wow an audience by blowing up a house, and suggest, not explicate, the end of the world. Thanks to the advent of CGI, however, subtlety died, and man, does it die hard during the sequence in France, when the Eiffel Tower dissolves away after being exposed to nuclear green matter(nanotechnology). It's the perfect metaphor for how computers eat artistry. In "Kiss Me Deadly", the dame opens the box, some say, Pandora's box. For film, Pandora's box was opened in James Cameron's "The Abyss". Count how many cars flip over during the car chase in Paris.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

jasonbAug 9, 2009

Liked it. The woman were hot. The Snakeeyes vs. Storm Shadow rivalry was compelling. The techno firestorm of special effects were awesome. Cool.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

tobiascAug 9, 2009

This movie was complete garbage but i gave it a one because i actually like some of the actors, and the action scenes were decent however the assault on the underwater base not only had the same scenes as star wars when the death star is This movie was complete garbage but i gave it a one because i actually like some of the actors, and the action scenes were decent however the assault on the underwater base not only had the same scenes as star wars when the death star is being assaulted but it also had the same script and sound effects(but at least they allowed you to see what was happening unlike some action movies), however the script, the premise, and the flow of the movie were total trash. For example (and this might be a spoiler) the baroness goes undercover, gets married to a scientist for the sole purpose of breaking into his laboratory while he is there to kill the gaurds and weaponize a weapon? All this just to set up the action scene in france. I wanted to see this movie but my god why and how do you weaponize a weapon? Which is a weapon that was built and manufactured by your boss? It makes no sense none. Also if your a top secret squad financed and put together by at least ten governments would you then allow your operatives to be captured by the police in paris? Why would you launch a missle at the white house while your operative is in the basement replacing the president in his bunker? then when the prez is done hiding his sorry ass below ground why would his staff give him a round of applause for coming out of hiding? It would have been nice if they decided to focus on the script, the plot, and the action a bit more and had come up with something a bit more creative then this pile of garbage.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

5

JoeSAug 9, 2009

I'd have given this movie a 6, but it loses a point for being the prequel to the movie we really want to see. Still, it's fun and loud and noisy and pretty much everything you'd expect from a hokey action movie about a toy I'd have given this movie a 6, but it loses a point for being the prequel to the movie we really want to see. Still, it's fun and loud and noisy and pretty much everything you'd expect from a hokey action movie about a toy line. At least it was better than Transformers.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

TONYTONYAug 9, 2009

Movie was fun and face paced and awesome action. Too many haters and everyone thinking they are actually a New York Times critic. If you were a fan of GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man than you will not be dissapointed. If you are Movie was fun and face paced and awesome action. Too many haters and everyone thinking they are actually a New York Times critic. If you were a fan of GI Joe, Transformers, Thundercats, He-Man than you will not be dissapointed. If you are not a fan of these than go see Julie & Julia.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

DanielLAug 9, 2009

It was a great movie with cool action scenes and somewhat interesting storyline.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

DDAug 9, 2009

Saw the movie last night....Yes the plot line was kind of dumb but overall it was a good action movie.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

4

VincentXAug 9, 2009

Sienna Miller did a perfect job, but in the end the writer destroy them all, and made the only one interesting character became a joke

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

TonydAug 9, 2009

Bad writing, bad directing, horrible animation for the most part, pretty much because of Horrible producing. who hired these guys? what a way to ruin a fun idea.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

LaurandaAug 9, 2009

People, it's based on a simple cartoon that was just plain good vs. bad. To expect anything more than a wild action ride is foolish. Not every movie that comes out has to be high art.

1 of 1 users found this helpful

4

ChrisDAug 8, 2009

The action and the women are the only good parts of the movie that the viewer will see. The acting and story line is cheesy, predictable, and overall very poorly acted. The actor that plays Duke, seems like he should have been played by John The action and the women are the only good parts of the movie that the viewer will see. The acting and story line is cheesy, predictable, and overall very poorly acted. The actor that plays Duke, seems like he should have been played by John Cena. At least then it could have drawn more people with star power.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

SeanSAug 8, 2009

I can't believe all the negative press this movie is getting... it was pretty good and worth watching. IMO these critics are just upset that they didn't get their pre-screening and had to watch it like regular fold....Oh the horror!

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

TomJAug 8, 2009

Good for what it was... action/adventure/high tech/summer popcorn flick. Just don't expect Shakespeare and you'll enjoy the movie (unlike all these silly "pro" reviewers and "serious" amateur reviewers)!

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

JohnYAug 8, 2009

Good, fast paced, escapist, summer action/adventurer. Don't know what these naysayers were expecting, but this is a fun, exciting movie... well worth it. The arrogance of some of the pros/serious critics is unbelievable!

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

M.SpriteAug 8, 2009

This was Exactly what you would want this kind of movie to be -- FUN. It's not going to win any Oscars, but who cares. It was a great way to spend the afternoon.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

2

RSAug 8, 2009

This movie was packed with almost every cliche in the book (30 by my count). They ruined classic character designs, was ridiculously predictable with a really weak plot which didn't make sense half of the time, and the action sequences This movie was packed with almost every cliche in the book (30 by my count). They ruined classic character designs, was ridiculously predictable with a really weak plot which didn't make sense half of the time, and the action sequences were over the top, the only thing done well was the use of technology. This movie sucked horribly.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

MatthewCAug 8, 2009

First - The film was a good - bad, movie. That is not enough to warrant this effort a 1 instead of a 0 however. People who thought a positive of this film was that it did not take itself seriously, fair enough. You like this kind of First - The film was a good - bad, movie. That is not enough to warrant this effort a 1 instead of a 0 however. People who thought a positive of this film was that it did not take itself seriously, fair enough. You like this kind of entertainment, cinema is purely entertainment - perspective. That's totally 100% fair. This being a subjective review (all reviews are), I would like to present my particular perspective on this. I think people taking a film seriously, has a lot to do with the film being good. The film does not have to be serious, dark, gloomy. You can have all your car explosions and people flying over rooftops. But I think, depth of screenwriting, is paramount to the film's core quality, And using that quality judging system. The film's merits, simply, do not exist. Even on a small level. The film, is horrible. The plot is poorly designed, the characters are horribly written. The special effects are horrid, the camerawork is of a example-of-how-not-to-make-a-film kind of bad. I don't give thing's 0's. Most things resonate in some way or another. I know going to a film can be considered - sometimes - as the same thing as going on an expensive rollercoaster. But unlike a rollercoaster, the entire cinema is not moving around on a big track. Replace that moving track and sensation of speed with good writing, not a sensation of speed on a large screen. Which this film, fails at anyway. Not as bad as an ube boll film. But terrible non-the-less. This ZERO scoring film, is still far better than transformers 2. So on a fractional level, I would award this 0.09 and transformers, 0.00.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

JonWAug 8, 2009

Bad. Bad as in boring, horrible acting, ridiculous and thoughtless story, and bad effects. Basically, a bad kids movie that's kinda sorta not really much of a GI Joe story. Don't pay for this movie, punish the studio for making it.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

NeilRAug 8, 2009

This movie is a travesty of stupidity. I am not sure if the actors were terrible, or if they had nothing to work with. The CGI was far too over the top, and the action was worse than bad, it was boring. A couple of decent martial arts fights This movie is a travesty of stupidity. I am not sure if the actors were terrible, or if they had nothing to work with. The CGI was far too over the top, and the action was worse than bad, it was boring. A couple of decent martial arts fights couldn't save it, and the ending was beyond ludicrous. Please don't see it, they might be tempted to remake it without a significant overhaul.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

4

JeremyMAug 8, 2009

A horrible script, awful acting (I'm looking at you Channing Tatum) and goofy fx (some of the worst I've seen in years) make this movie laughable - and not in a good, fun way. With so much mythology to work with, I find it absurd A horrible script, awful acting (I'm looking at you Channing Tatum) and goofy fx (some of the worst I've seen in years) make this movie laughable - and not in a good, fun way. With so much mythology to work with, I find it absurd that this movie's script and character work were so dumb and generic. It should also be noted that this IS another case of the writer's changing a mythology that fans know and love. The real travesty here is Tatum's 'work' as Duke. Tatum is one of the worst actors alive today. His facial expression never changes. His voice/inflection never changes. He just does not emote...anything. Even in a movie where the protagonist is a team of individuals, the lack of ONE solid hero to root for is death. In fact, I was actually cheering for Duke to get killed. I should add that Sienna Miller and Christopher Eccleston shine in a movie full of lifeless performances. I would have liked to have seen more of Arnold Vosloo as well, although the real diamond in this rough was a surprise cameo by Brendan Fraser that was way too short. I kept hoping for Fraser to return in the big 'finale', even if only to give Tatum a swirly and stuff him in a locker.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

SeanMAug 8, 2009

Knowing not to go to G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is half the battle, the other half is being sure to bring razors and hard liquor with you if you do see it.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

SteveKAug 8, 2009

For all the haters: You went to see a movie called "G.I. JOE" based on an 80s cartoon, and you expected a good script or realistic dialogue? What did you expect? This is a live-action cartoon. The effects were a bit sub-par (i.e. - fake For all the haters: You went to see a movie called "G.I. JOE" based on an 80s cartoon, and you expected a good script or realistic dialogue? What did you expect? This is a live-action cartoon. The effects were a bit sub-par (i.e. - fake looking), but it was what I expected: two hours of dumb action and escapism. Two thumbs up!… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

4

EnzoP.Aug 8, 2009

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra could be the loudest movie of the summer. Its right next to Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2. That helps a lot for this movie to be more interesting and fun. The acting was good enough to make kids say wow! G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra could be the loudest movie of the summer. Its right next to Terminator Salvation and Transformers 2. That helps a lot for this movie to be more interesting and fun. The acting was good enough to make kids say wow! That was sick. Also Marlon Wayans was good enough to make kids laugh and make grown ups chuckle. Most grown ups will probably be annoyed by the cliche characters and how predictable it is. Overall audiences will think its mediocre or bad. Still not surprised the critics hated it didn't look that good from the trailer. I just saw it for some entertainment. Well I got it overall an alright film.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

[Anonymous]Aug 8, 2009

People don't seem to understand that G.I.Joe was a bit silly in the 80's cartoon. People complain that it is not true to it. Well parents in the 80's thought our G.I.Joes weren't authentic to theirs. All in all it's People don't seem to understand that G.I.Joe was a bit silly in the 80's cartoon. People complain that it is not true to it. Well parents in the 80's thought our G.I.Joes weren't authentic to theirs. All in all it's filled with great action and was well worth my time and money. The only thing that really bugged me was Snake Eyes rubber face , those lips were freaky. All in all I hope they go on to make the two scheduled sequils. I lied that the Joes used semi normal weapons and cobra used futuristic ones like in the cartoon. I think that Cobra Commander could have used the cloth mask but again in the cartoons their was at least three variations of Cobra Commander so it isn't really that important. I am disapointed at peoples rating of this movie as well as Transformers 2 which was great as well. Just remember that these are kids toys turned to movies. Don't take it so seriously.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

wetwebworkAug 8, 2009

Fun fast action film. Cleavage, guns, bombs, planes, villains and heroes. Silly, but completely enjoyable for what it is. Better than the too serious T4 by far, and probably Transformers 2 as well.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

DanDAug 8, 2009

Prime example of when cartoon is NOT meant for the big screen. Why is Hollywood so compelled to destroy cartoon franchises of the 80s? Thank you Stephen Sommers for destroying my fond childhood memories of G.I. JOE.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

JimOAug 8, 2009

I went into this movie with low expectations and knew it was going to be kinda cheesy as it is a movie based on toys. I was still hoping it would be good summer fun. But this movie was far worse than I had anticipated. The plot is stupid, I went into this movie with low expectations and knew it was going to be kinda cheesy as it is a movie based on toys. I was still hoping it would be good summer fun. But this movie was far worse than I had anticipated. The plot is stupid, the motivations of the characters aren't explained or make sense at all, the dialogue is completely stupid and the jokes are not even funny. This movie isn't even saved by the action scenes. The fight scenes are completely unbelievable. I know you have to suspend reality some for a movie like this, but if it is completely out of control then the action just becomes boring. After all, it's just some actors running around in front of a green screen. Do yourself a favor and don't waste your money or time.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

DanMAug 8, 2009

Smart and sophisticated. This is a deep layered work, much like Joyce's Ulysses, and as i have only seen it twice i have yet to fully digest it, that said I know two things for sure 1) this movie is a water shed moment in the history Smart and sophisticated. This is a deep layered work, much like Joyce's Ulysses, and as i have only seen it twice i have yet to fully digest it, that said I know two things for sure 1) this movie is a water shed moment in the history film 2) this is the most culturally significant film since Birth of a Nation. 1) this film takes a bold new steep in genrabending and has carried it out flawlessly creating a new way to invision film making. The Coens brothers have made stumbling steps toward the dream that Sommers has realised, notably their adaptation of McCarthy's No Country, but where other directors have only fumbled at what might be, Sommers has created it as Wells did before him. This is film at its best as it speaks to the human condition through multiple perspectives to better understand man and his place in the world. With Joe Sommers has done the seemingly imposable task of genrabending Syriana and Team America into the next citizen kane. The layers of these two gernas intersect in so many ways that a life time could not uncover all the conections, no one man could ever complettly understand this film and it is therefore criticproof. There is no doubt that this film has raised the bar for what a movie can be, film studence every where should burn their colections and focus on the future. GO JOE! 2) not since a birth of a nation have a people been forced to reconsile their future with their history by cinema. that is until now. Joe mutli perspectival aprouch raises so many questions what it means to be American every one who sees this film will be forced to examin there fundamental preconceptions. This film has held up a mirior that we as a people can not look away from. what has been seen cannot be unseen, and we must now move forward as we did after the decoration of independents and the civil war and redefine ourselfs as a nation. We must know once again who we are, and knowing is half the battle.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

IsaacMAug 8, 2009

what a terrible movie. Bad writing and horrible acting. I actually wanted duke to die just so i wouldn't have to put up with the unbelievably bad line delivery his actor gave. It was like he was locked in a room full of various what a terrible movie. Bad writing and horrible acting. I actually wanted duke to die just so i wouldn't have to put up with the unbelievably bad line delivery his actor gave. It was like he was locked in a room full of various amphetamines for hours before each shoot, every day, the drugs building up in his brain damaging his speech cortex and making his acting even worse. Oh and "Commander" is played by that kid from Angels In The Outfield, making this the pansiest cobra commander my childhood can comprehend. Then they give him a facemask to make him look tough, but he just looks like the combine soldiers from half-life in a semi-clear mask with gene simmon's hairline etched into it. And I won't even both with mrs. fickle mcswinger (nee love interest).… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

PeterOAug 7, 2009

The plot is really dull, and the characters are underdeveloped. If all the characters had died at the end I would have cared less. The directors gave very little attempt to develop the plot, with about 95% of the movie being pure action. As The plot is really dull, and the characters are underdeveloped. If all the characters had died at the end I would have cared less. The directors gave very little attempt to develop the plot, with about 95% of the movie being pure action. As well, I really didn… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

5

AlCAug 7, 2009

2 hr action packed movie. Lines were kinda corny. Humor wasn't that funny at all. Could've been better.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

NatalieSAug 7, 2009

If you think you want to see this movie you're right. Unpretentious summer fun. Totally worth the trip. Go Joe Go!!!

0 of 0 users found this helpful

3

JacobCAug 7, 2009

I feel I must steal a line from a movie review the san fransico bay guardian--it serves no other purpose other than to establish the bottom of the barrel. If you're above the age of 14 and have a fully functioning brain, you probably I feel I must steal a line from a movie review the san fransico bay guardian--it serves no other purpose other than to establish the bottom of the barrel. If you're above the age of 14 and have a fully functioning brain, you probably won't enjoy this movie--other than perhaps snickering what is potentially the worst collection of acting performances of the decade. At Transformers 2 I felt like the director was trying too hard. At GI Joe I felt like the director simply didn't try at all. Sure, there a couple of impressive action scenes, but they were in the commercials. If you're looking for a great escapist action movie, it looks like you'll just have to see Star Trek again.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

ElijahGAug 7, 2009

This movie was okay overall. It was strongest in the first hour and then gets much more boring as it reaches its end. The action was good for the most part but felt stale at times. The story was okay but dragged on at some points. The main This movie was okay overall. It was strongest in the first hour and then gets much more boring as it reaches its end. The action was good for the most part but felt stale at times. The story was okay but dragged on at some points. The main villain was very cliche and boring though. Also there are some terrible one-liners and some of the actors are poor. Overall however it was a entertaining movie.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

10

EdgarV.Aug 7, 2009

This is way better than Transformers 2, T2 was so bad first it was long and then very boring this movie no , this movie is the best in based on action toys.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

JohnSAug 7, 2009

Not bad for a popcorn, action movie. All this bad press..come on folks, this is GI Joe not Macbeth! People take themselves way too seriously now.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

6

JonathanHAug 7, 2009

I went into this movie expecting to hate it, and I was very surprised. While the first twenty minutes feel lame (e.g. ninjas, hot women fighting in leather, and seemingly cheesey flashbacks), once it is all explained it makes sense and I went into this movie expecting to hate it, and I was very surprised. While the first twenty minutes feel lame (e.g. ninjas, hot women fighting in leather, and seemingly cheesey flashbacks), once it is all explained it makes sense and becomes surprising deep (considering it's based off of an action figure toy line). Basically, this is not the smartest movie, but it is better than many of its competitors (*cough* Transformers *cough*). I give it a 6 for making something that should be lame into something pretty decent.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

PhilipPAug 7, 2009

Unless you're 9 years old or mildly retarded, avoid this movie at all costs! Besides being an atrocious piece of movie making, I felt like I was sitting through a two-hour commercial introducing Hasbro's new line of toys.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

NathanLAug 7, 2009

This is not a great movie and it is barely a good movie but bottom line it is fun. The actors don't do much. They don't have to. The special effects are mediocre at times but, it is a non-stop action movie that is so light on the This is not a great movie and it is barely a good movie but bottom line it is fun. The actors don't do much. They don't have to. The special effects are mediocre at times but, it is a non-stop action movie that is so light on the plot that there wasn't much in the way of holes for me to be upset about. Honestly, it's what I expected and the Paris chase seen was pretty cool.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

2

JamesCAug 7, 2009

I went in with low expectations and still felt disappointed. The script was terrible, the acting was poor, the action was average, the CGI was sub-par. Every moment felt contrived and predictable, yet somehow constantly inconsistent with the I went in with low expectations and still felt disappointed. The script was terrible, the acting was poor, the action was average, the CGI was sub-par. Every moment felt contrived and predictable, yet somehow constantly inconsistent with the rest of the movie. A third of the audience in our theater began to boo once the credits started rolling.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

LukeLAug 7, 2009

This movie was like trying to fit your head in a tub of popcorn. Seems like it should be fun but it's just an awkward mess.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

AlexMAug 7, 2009

The characters are dumb as the plot as the use of technology, sometimes all is hi-tech and sometimes is only machine guns or swords super tech suits but can't stop a girl in an elevator?

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

JimGAug 7, 2009

It was a fun, somewhat dumb, action movie.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

JustinOAug 7, 2009

I feel people are looking for a bit too much in movies now a days, they are simply a form of entertainment, stop bashing your heads over so much small detail and enjoy them for what they are. This movie wasn't the best in the world, but I feel people are looking for a bit too much in movies now a days, they are simply a form of entertainment, stop bashing your heads over so much small detail and enjoy them for what they are. This movie wasn't the best in the world, but I would hate to see it fall into the same category as Transformers ROTF, which I feel was no where near as bad as people and critics said it is.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

PetraAug 7, 2009

Great movie.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

0

DavidMAug 7, 2009

That video game was awesome! Wait... What? Not a video game? That was the movie? Were they trying to do what Roger Rabbit did with the real people in cartoon land? No, well ok then. This movie sure did love its weak sauce. Weak story, weak That video game was awesome! Wait... What? Not a video game? That was the movie? Were they trying to do what Roger Rabbit did with the real people in cartoon land? No, well ok then. This movie sure did love its weak sauce. Weak story, weak character development, and very weak CGI. Save yourself some money and go buy Surf Ninjas from the 99 cent bin. You'll feel about the same afterward.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

1

KeithCAug 7, 2009

This movie gets one star for the action, but other than that the script and acting is HORRIBLE! Sample script, "What are you now?...They can now call me Cobra Commander." This movie left me wondering how bad can Ishtar be? A TOTAL waste of This movie gets one star for the action, but other than that the script and acting is HORRIBLE! Sample script, "What are you now?...They can now call me Cobra Commander." This movie left me wondering how bad can Ishtar be? A TOTAL waste of time, don't waste your money or time. I kept watching wanting it to get better, but it never did. Thank God I saw it for FREE, but it still cost me 2 hours of my life. Not impressed and you won't be either. Even worse is the movie ends with a sequel setup. Why make a bad movie and plan on a sequel? In short, watch some lame reality tv show for 2 hours, it would be more entertaining. The only good thing of this movie is watching the baroness' cleavage for almost the whole movie.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

5

BillBAug 7, 2009

Pretty disappointing a lot of potholes that even the CGI special effects and actions can't conceal. Some of the characters feel too cartoonish. It feels like being bombarded with the same effect of seeing The Mummy once again. The story Pretty disappointing a lot of potholes that even the CGI special effects and actions can't conceal. Some of the characters feel too cartoonish. It feels like being bombarded with the same effect of seeing The Mummy once again. The story really needs editing. It's just a film about good guys vs. bad guys with little to go on their poor character development.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

9

MikeMAug 7, 2009

Not too bad....pretty good escapism. Definitely had the feel of GI Joe, not too serious, hi-tech weapons, etc. Goes by fast and without a dull moment. Got a lot of undeserved bad press, so most people will come out pleasantly surprised. The Not too bad....pretty good escapism. Definitely had the feel of GI Joe, not too serious, hi-tech weapons, etc. Goes by fast and without a dull moment. Got a lot of undeserved bad press, so most people will come out pleasantly surprised. The trailers (especially the initial one) don't give the movie justice...wow, they really need to get a new movie trailer producer or train up the existing one.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

5

JosephMAug 7, 2009

Potential was there, but it was not capitalized on.

0 of 0 users found this helpful

7

EdHAug 7, 2009

[***SPOILERS***] DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT. The movie was great, the plot was good, and the actors were good. Great special effects, action, and fight scenes too. The only part of the story I disliked was Stormshadow [***SPOILERS***] DON'T READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT. The movie was great, the plot was good, and the actors were good. Great special effects, action, and fight scenes too. The only part of the story I disliked was Stormshadow seems to be dead, and Baroness is turned good. To me Stormshadow and Snake Eyes were the most popular characters in the cartton and comics. It seems silly if they plan on doing a trilogy that killing Stormshadow off in the first one is ridiculous! I even stayed through the credits to see if they pulled a clip of him living only to be let down. It's left open to a sequel and Stormshadows body wasn't destroyed and Baroness could possibly be turned bad again. Hopefully it's added into the story. So with that I took a possible 8 and minused a point for Stormshadow dying and Baroness turning.… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful

8

BradYAug 7, 2009

Given the track record of Wolverine, Terminator and Transformers 2 this summer, my expectations for GI Joe, while initially high, had been tempered. But, in reality, I came out of the theater completely blown away. It seems fairly clear to Given the track record of Wolverine, Terminator and Transformers 2 this summer, my expectations for GI Joe, while initially high, had been tempered. But, in reality, I came out of the theater completely blown away. It seems fairly clear to me that they (the director, production staff, writers, actors, etc) all knew what they were going for... A clever, action-packed re-imagining of the GI Joe franchise that anyone over 18 remembered when growing up. Is it has hardcore as the comic books? Certainly not. Is it as campy as the cartoon? No, not exactly. But does it capture what made GI Joe so cool in the first place? Most definitely. GI Joe won't win awards for special effects, writing, or acting... But for doing things their own way and getting it (mostly) right, they should all be commended.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

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