Epic Movie

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[Anonymous]Jan 31, 2007

This movie can be summed up in six words: for the love of God, why? Why have the standards of American comedy fallen so low that we have to get our laughs from 86 endless minutes of mindless, tasteless jokes? Is the average American really This movie can be summed up in six words: for the love of God, why? Why have the standards of American comedy fallen so low that we have to get our laughs from 86 endless minutes of mindless, tasteless jokes? Is the average American really so stupid to be entertained by this? First off, the movie is hardly a spoof of epic movies. While there are one or two jokes in there that nudge the ribs of some movies (Superman, Snakes on a Plane), it seems that the writers just decided to throw a poop joke arsenal on us and see how many pop culture icons they could toss in there along the way (remind anyone of Date Movie?). Next, the plot is like a meat grinder for your mind. The tasteless jokes, not only because they're endlessly pounded into your poor eardrums, are delivered with such mindnumbing obliviousness to their own stupidity that they just bore a drill into your brain. And, finally, the whole looked like it was filmed in someone's backyard. The final battle really did look like a backyard, while the rest of the movie may have been the same yard with a plywood set around it. And, what about the part at the end, when time was supposedly stopped, yet everyone's clothes kept blowing in the wind? Although, I can't be too cruel on that point, because that part actually made me laugh. In short, this movie is mindless, and so unbelievably stupid that I'm going to organize a mass burning once it comes out on DVD. And the only reason I did not give this a zero was because Paris Hilton got crushed by a falling plane passenger. I don't care how fake it was, it still gave me a very satisfied feeling.… Expand

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AdamB.Feb 11, 2007

Hands-down, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. Yes, it's even worse than "Date Movie", and it's not one of those so-bad-it's-funny movies. No, "Epic Movie" is just bad. It not only deserves an "R" rating for lewd, Hands-down, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. Yes, it's even worse than "Date Movie", and it's not one of those so-bad-it's-funny movies. No, "Epic Movie" is just bad. It not only deserves an "R" rating for lewd, overtly sexual humor, but an "R" rating just to keep the filmmakers from making any additional money from this monstrosity.… Expand

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JamesK.Feb 17, 2007

Absolutely awful. The worst film that I have ever seen, the jokes have no real depth, they are just constant, monotonous toilet jokes and black people jokes. They imitate other films' characters well enough, however they make no effort Absolutely awful. The worst film that I have ever seen, the jokes have no real depth, they are just constant, monotonous toilet jokes and black people jokes. They imitate other films' characters well enough, however they make no effort to poke fun at them, instead it is simply"yes, here I am, Jack Swallow, aren't I funy". People who find this film worth a laugh are ignoramuses who have the most simplistic view of humor. Get out of MacDonlds and get an education.… Expand

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EnriqueFeb 28, 2007

Disgusting!

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TaylorA.Mar 22, 2007

The "___" Movie franchise has progressively declined since it started. Now, with Epic Movie, it doesn't so much make fun of, satirize, or spoof any movies or pop culture as much as it does just state what there is about and in them. It The "___" Movie franchise has progressively declined since it started. Now, with Epic Movie, it doesn't so much make fun of, satirize, or spoof any movies or pop culture as much as it does just state what there is about and in them. It was definitely not witty, hardly funny at all, and depressingly stupid. And overall, not entertaining. I'm giving it a one, because I did laugh once at the part where everyone was frozen in time because one of the guys moved a bit.… Expand

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AdamE.Apr 19, 2007

The utter depravation of wit, relevance or anything representing the 20,000,000 dollars put into this supposed comedy is sure to ruin any weekend movie excursion. Avoid at all costs.

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AlisaH.May 27, 2007

I wish I could give it lower than a zero, but oh well. Now I was looking forward to this movie, I thought, "wow, I was hoping someone would make a smart parody on all my favorite movies as long as it doesn't tick me off!". That's I wish I could give it lower than a zero, but oh well. Now I was looking forward to this movie, I thought, "wow, I was hoping someone would make a smart parody on all my favorite movies as long as it doesn't tick me off!". That's what it looked like, then I saw the movie, it made me EMBARASSED to even be in the theatre, sure one of my friends and I laughed once or twice but when the Beaver and Goatguy started Frenching I felt sick. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go see something worthy of your attention like watching paint dry, that'd be loads better and more entertaining than that so called Epic Movie.… Expand

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CharlesT.May 28, 2007

Possibly one of the worst comedy/anything ever made. Not even a movie.

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MarkBAug 14, 2007

Even though the old critical saw about parody being the lowest form of humor is absolutely untrue, the visible stench rays emanating from this epic commode-clogger are noxious enough to make anybody forget just how good such varied examples Even though the old critical saw about parody being the lowest form of humor is absolutely untrue, the visible stench rays emanating from this epic commode-clogger are noxious enough to make anybody forget just how good such varied examples of the genre as The Court Jester, Blazing Saddles, Airplane!, Shaun of the Dead and many others actually are. This is the work of the miscreants who inflicted Date Movie on the world last year, but that one at least deserved to be cut a little slack because Alyson Hannigan was so genuinely charming in it, and because at least it was disciplined and focused enough to target a specific movie genre: the most popular and profitable romantic comedies and "chick flicks" of the last twenty years. If Epic Movie had centered on GENUINE movie epics such as Ben-Hur, Spartacus, Doctor Zhivago and Gladiator, I might have at least tossed it some grudging respect, but the moviemakers simply offer up instant replays of many of last year's box office hits and also-rans (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Chronicles of Narnia, and the Harry Potter and Pirates of the Caribbean franchises take center stage, but in whose alternate universe can Nacho Libre, Borat and Click be considered epics in any way, shape or form?) On second thought, even if you wanted to stretch semantics farther than the Guinness record holder for the longest rubber band, writer-directors Jason Friedburg and Aaron Seltzer deserve censure not only for the Cousteau-like depths of stupidity, meanness and pure ugliness they repeatedly demonstrate or for their absolute incompetence at staging jokes (or what they consider to be jokes) but also for the utter laziness and cynicism with which they serve them up, as though they didn't have to even TRY to do better. (And sadly, since this was a mild box office hit, they were probably right.) The result is such a depressing, abysmal black hole that the very few exceptions (Darrell Hammond's letter-perfect impersonation of Johnny Depp's Jack Swallows--er, Sparrow; the sheer professionalism that comic actors Jennifer Coolidge and Tony Cox always bring to their work, even if they really need to fire their agents) register not so much as bright spots than merely as less dim ones. Worst performance of all--and Epic Movie's worst crime--is given by Jayma Mays, a very cute actress who completely stole my heart a couple of years ago as a beleaguered hotel employee in Wes Craven's Red Eye. Here, as one of four ethnically disparate siblings who discover some Wonka-like Golden Tickets to desperately contrived adventure, Mays is thoroughly amateurish, even seeming to forget her lines at times. Perhaps Mays needed to ingest huge quantities of drugs to get through the making of this garbage, but not nearly as much as we moviegoers need to shoot, snort or gulp to get through the experience of WATCHING it!… Expand

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BrianNAug 14, 2007

groan inducing and excruciatingly awful. merely referencing a movie does not make the scene funny. if you like this movie you are an idiot.

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RavenX301Aug 27, 2007

The only joke that i kinda laughed at and still think is kinda clever is the joke about Willy wanting the young girl to polish his knob...and so she cleans his door knob. Mainly because its kind of a complete throw away joke that you may not The only joke that i kinda laughed at and still think is kinda clever is the joke about Willy wanting the young girl to polish his knob...and so she cleans his door knob. Mainly because its kind of a complete throw away joke that you may not catch on to because you are so amazed that people could actually create this terrible piece of trash....to tel you the truth I only could set through about 30 some mins without shutting it off. This was so terrible I can't believe that someone with a brain wrote this and then had the MONEY$$ to be able to create this terrible, terrible skit movie....I mean....The Samuel Jackson bit has been done to DEATH (best by Dave Chapelle) and other terrible bodily fluid jokes are way back in the 90's (which is even worse then using something form the 80's!)… Expand

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KeenanSOct 17, 2009

It comes as no surprise to me that the hacks behind this film have more online petitions against them than Uwe Boll. There are literally sites that want them to just die. Epic Movie is absolutely horrendous in every way, and only serves as a It comes as no surprise to me that the hacks behind this film have more online petitions against them than Uwe Boll. There are literally sites that want them to just die. Epic Movie is absolutely horrendous in every way, and only serves as a sadistic torture device (Hm, imagine a horror film in which victims are tortured with this film). Epic Movie is so awful, it's almost as bad as Disaster Movie, but not quite. More like epic piece of shit! Friedberg and Seltzer must be stopped!… Expand

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smijatovJun 10, 2012

Atrocious. Just atrocious. Doesn't the fact that the directors got nominated for 5 Razzies over their careers (including one for Worst Screenplay for "Epic Movie") indicate how bad this is? Gosh... I don't even know why I watched this. IAtrocious. Just atrocious. Doesn't the fact that the directors got nominated for 5 Razzies over their careers (including one for Worst Screenplay for "Epic Movie") indicate how bad this is? Gosh... I don't even know why I watched this. I might have hoped there will be something funny, I guess. Some of their work was interesting at first - "Scary Movie" to be more precise. And after that, they've been trying to milk the same cow for over a decade now, and it's not working. It hasn't worked since "Scary Movie 3", really, and it probably will never work again. The sad thing is, that people still give them money to produce the crap they do. The world we live in....… Expand