Seven Pirates H

While not exactly breaking new ground in the genre, Seven Pirates H knows all of the notes well enough to do a decent job of it. And with all of the immature humour you’ll be laughing your tits off.

Despite its flaws, Seven Pirates H is an addictive and fun adventure. Underneath the fanservice exterior is a cute RPG, just don’t go into this expecting anything challenging or remotely intellectually stimulating and you’ll find yourself having fun.

Though it departs from the previous two games in the series, Seven Pirates H still manages to carve out its own niche in the adult-minded gaming space. While the differences between past games and this one may seem jarring at first, overall many of the gameplay tweaks come as welcome changes. Just consider whether it’s worth trying to explain the Chest Growth system to your seatmate on that next plane ride.

Seven Pirates H is a flawed but enjoyable game. An extremely unique system of leveling up, a light-hearted plot, and a cast of adorable characters somehow manages to mix charming and lewd in a surprisingly effective way. Unfortunately, the game is hampered by uninspired dungeons, combat that eventually grows repetitive (especially considering enemies tend to be far, far weaker than boss fights, which can be a slog), and an over-reliance on the booby training gimmick. Perhaps the game’s most damning flaw is my least favorite design choice ever: forcing players to revisit every single dungeon to fight a new boss as part of the story. Still, even with the obvious flaws, if you’re looking for a silly RPG with over-the-top fanservice, Seven Pirates H is very, very likely to scratch that itch.

Seven Pirates H is not a title that wishes to be taken seriously. While there is a decent story and fun characters behind the fan service, the shallow combat can become tiresome after a few hours. It is fun and a lot of the humour lands, but the actual gameplay can be a bit threadbare. While the headline Booby Training mechanic is an interesting way to customise your party, it doesn’t break up the monotony of the gameplay. This is a title that won't keep to occupied too long and is best enjoyed in in fits and starts, and very much within the privacy and comfort of one’s own home.

The joy here is not exploring, fighting, or experiencing a carefully written plot. Seven Pirates H is pretty honest with what it is, so you'll get some tiny amount of fun, but it will be in the form of extremely-casual-friendly gameplay, sexual innuendo-fuelled imagery and dialogue, and anime funbags that grow and change with a little caressing. Does this make the game any less repetitive? Unfortunately not.