Over the years I've been to many conventions as a writer. I spend about half my time taking photos and the rest getting drunk and talking about video games. Usually the conversation goes to that dark place...
"What's the worst game ever?"
I always say Bubsy but I have a long standing and very vocal hatred for that bastard. Back in the day this question usually boiled town to someOver the years I've been to many conventions as a writer. I spend about half my time taking photos and the rest getting drunk and talking about video games. Usually the conversation goes to that dark place...
"What's the worst game ever?"
I always say Bubsy but I have a long standing and very vocal hatred for that bastard. Back in the day this question usually boiled town to some solid choices, however I usually got told Shaq Fu. That being said, imagine my surprise when I find out there was a crowd funded... reimagining... seems like an appropriate word.
Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn is definitely a game. It's on the PlayStation store and it loads up. Playing it on the other hand is slightly more like forgetting that River City Ransom Underground, Scott Pilgrim, Castle Crashers and of the other much more polished and functional beat 'em ups that have come out in these last years.
That out of the way let's delve into Big Deez Productions’ freshman effort, shall we?
The game starts with a stylized comic intro. Stating that the story is, "convoluted and full of holes," may have been funny at one point but it is an appropriate warningof what's to come. Baby Shaq is in a bag in the river, adopted by a nice lady and learns kung fu, leaving out his signature elbow, but the body check is still there... Then again MMA fighting has more authentic Kung Fu than this game.
When you get into the game proper it looks decent, however suffers from some slowdown on a PS4 regular (did not get to test it on a Pro) which was mildly concerning on stage one. Then I started noticing small things, quite a few of them in fact. The writing is god awful, as a mix of bad jokes, one liners and relics that should have been left in the past. They played with the 3d a bit like Ninja Turtles or Battletoads when hitting enemies into the screen. When you roll a "soda keg" into foes it does a bowling strike sound, small things that are nice. Jokes about China's population, calling his master ye-ye which means "granddad" and the absurd, "let's slow this down on this enemy so we can show off" starting grating on me minutes into the game. They studied other beat em ups and took bad elements or pale imitations, and for all of that still have limited enemy variety, fart jokes, fat jokes, boring combat and of course Shaq rapping again.
My fiancee sat there, watching me play dead eyed, like a stone faced gargoyle, unimpressed by the game. Soulless. Like, I was just a droid on autopilot. Hostage stare – seen some **** almost thousand-yard stare. Too damaged at this point to react at all to anything else game presented.
I may be embellishing a bit. This isn't a bad game per se, it's thouroughly unremarkable. I will not remember anything of this game in a week. Why would I waste my beautiful mind on a thing like this? It's offensive, but not in a clever way like Postal 2 is where it's meant to be absurd. Shaq Fu has the issue Duke Nukem Forever does where it thinks it's better than it is. Like Duke mocking Halo, Shaq Fu mocks celeb worship, which is funny coming from a has been, mocking celebrities that are and continue to be more relevant than he is.
Most people won’t know Chinese mythology, but that they just used Guan Yu instead of coming up with anything of their own kind of speaks to a larger problem – for the most part, they don’t CREATE anything. They just frantically mash things they want to mock together like a shipper mashing action figures together to make them kiss. Instead of true parody, which creates new from given things it’s mocking, this is more “parody” which either just does the same thing as what it mocks (and then uses “parody” to justify it) or pretty much gives the exact same interpretation of what they’re mocking with no real thought or creativity. IT’S JUSTIN BIEBER. BUT WITH CHICKEN BAZOOKAS. It’s like… teenage moron “creativity?” And unlike the few games where that works, here it’s just more wtf.
Demons replace female characters, which would be good except you wonder if this is the way the developer sees women. Fangs, horns and shrill voices seems more like gynophobia rather than clever enemy design. I stopped on level two. The overly effeminate guys in Jean shorts and cut tees with a typical lisp wasn't funny, it was homophobic. I thought dudebros because of the steroids on the levels, but looking back it is literally gay bashing.
Maybe if Shaq Fu used more icy hot it would have the flexibility to be a real game. That being said, I recommend anyone steer clear of this one. You're better off playing the original. Apparently the French, unlike what they claimed in the fundraiser video, actually knew what they were doing.
3/10… Expand
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