Man, was I ever excited for this one. I've dropped hundreds of hours into Theme Hospital, Dungeon Keeper, Two Point Hospital. Haven't actually played the original Evil Genius, but I'd heard great things and I thought this would be a great combo of my favorites.
The game is just...bland. And it feels like there's lots of little mistakes that bely the lack of a clear artistic vision, andMan, was I ever excited for this one. I've dropped hundreds of hours into Theme Hospital, Dungeon Keeper, Two Point Hospital. Haven't actually played the original Evil Genius, but I'd heard great things and I thought this would be a great combo of my favorites.
The game is just...bland. And it feels like there's lots of little mistakes that bely the lack of a clear artistic vision, and a few bugs that just stopped me in my tracks.
Game starts! Suddenly this minion is talking at me in this super authoratative manner. They seem to try to lampshade this with the Evil Genius saying "who are you giving me orders?", but as soon as the cutscene is done he keeps giving you instructions like he runs the place. Immediate disconnect - how am I supposed to feel like an Evil Genius if my henchman talk to me like they're the boss?
Also, it immediately becomes unclear if I'm actually the evil genius, or who I am, because Maximilian responds to my commands as if I'm a commander in Warcraft - "Ah, Evil thinks alike" he says. Oh, ok, so I'm some other evil thing telling him what to do. But the minion was clearly talking to me, and then Maximilian was acting like he was talking to him. Which is it?
Ok, lets build some **** Your minions get your new buildings out of a cave next to your base. Ok, sure, we've got a bunch of old evil equipment that we....pay gold for? For some reason? Why? Is there an invisible troll guarding the evil gadgets we have to pay a toll to? Ok, let's take it for granted that the minions "do it all" gun is powered by pure gold. Sure. I'm interested to see where we'll build all of these evil contraptions we're inventing here!
Wait, once I research the minions STILL get it out of this random cave? What?!? We had all of this stuff just sitting around? Why doesn't the game mention this? There are lots of ways the writers could have handled this... maybe the game could a big deal about this treasure trove of everything evil that has ever existed, but we have to learn how to use it before we can pull it from the cave? Nope. It's just a cave, and once you research it, the minions can go get it from the cave. Which...for some reason...they couldn't before. No explanation.
Meaningless Traits
Also, your minions have traits. Oh that's fun!! Traits in Two Point Hospital made me really sweat over who I hired in - NO UNHYGENIC NURSES! It made every hospital employee seem like they had a real personality. Alright, good work Evil Genius 2!! Except... I don't pick which minions get sent on schemes, and traits don't seem to have an effect on them, and it doesn't seem like their traits really matter?
The traits don't seem to match up with who trains for what profession either. I remember getting told to make minions into guards, so I do that, and immediately my minion with the traits "Pacifist" and "Wants to be a technician" goes and starts training to be a guard. I immediately look around on the internet to see if there's a way to stop that...nope. This makes no sense? How did we pick this minion to do it, and not the one with "strong right hook"? And no real way to cancel it either.
So, what is the point of the traits if minions are totally disposable and you can't guide them based on their traits!? So frustrating!
Schemes - The Minigame where you just click on an icon
Alright, so maybe the base management is wonky, I hear we are taking over the world!! Awesome, let's try this!! The overworld schemes are just... nothing. Click to get money, click to lower heat. It's totally inane. Click it, if you have the resources, it happens. Some crappy writing about the scheme that they're running, totally bland, totally uninteresting.
Also, why are my minions sent off on this to disappear? Some lame explanation in the cutscene about "not tracking justice back to my base"? WTF?
Alright, we have scientists, we have guards, we have valets. Wait, valets? Like, a parking valet? There's no such thing as a casino valet, so these are...busboys...running casino tables? What?? And why are my valets performing at my Vegas show thing? Because they decided that valets are at in the casino and didn't want to deal with splitting them up into different jobs? Then don't include the performance stage. Makes no sense.
Conclusion
Each thing I kept coming across took me out of the Evil Genius experience and made me super aware that this was a game, and nothing really brought me down into the world to think that I was an evil genius doing things. Again and again things didn't work in a cool way, nothing felt like it had any thematic punch. Even Maximilian just felt like...nothing. A boring clone of Dr. Evil who asked minions stupid questions, while the minions replied with eye-rollingly bad jokes.
My first refund ever on Steam, and I'm really sad about it. I was really excited for this game, and it's really a big pile of...schmeh.… Expand