Susan Wloszczyna

Director Jonathan Lynn has had his hits (My Cousin Vinny) and stinkeroos (Greedy). This falls in between. [29 Mar 1996, p.4D]

Proudly stupid, silly and gory.

Actually, as films inspired by Saturday Night Live sketches go, this is pretty good. Count on three big belly laughs if you are over 30, more if you are under 18 and even have a belly. [14 Feb 1994 Pg. 04.D]

With near-Swiss precision, director/producer Jay Roach and his writers make sure familiarity breeds hilarity.

Arnie is Arnie. He has all the cute lines ("No problemo," "Hasta la vista, baby''). And he does more with a squint than anyone since Popeye. [3 July 1991, Life, p.1D]

Dr. Dolittle does do a lot of stuff right. [ 26 June 1998, p. 12 E]

Nothing better than boys with really big toys. Especially when the boys are men like Denzel Washington and Gene Hackman, top talents who duke it out among the nukes in the propulsively pulse-pounding undersea thriller Crimson Tide. [12May1995 Pg.01.D]

The film barely skims the grimmer realities of growing old - sickness, money problems, loneliness and death. Still, you couldn't think of two better Grinches to spend the holiday with than Lemmon and Matthau. [23 Dec 1993, p.5D]

You can always judge a sci-fi thriller by its aliens. What does Planet offer -- Space roaches.

The best acting in Mr. Magoo actually comes courtesy of his resourceful bulldog, Angus. As pooches go, he has a better pedigree than this dog of a flick. [23 Dec 1997, p.3D]

Even our bony host the Crypt Keeper, who never met a pun he didn't like, might declare Bordello just plain whore-ible. [16 Aug 1996, p.4D]

The Power of One plays like a plot-heavy South African fairy tale with one too many big, bad wolves. [27 March 1992, p.4D]

Trapped in Paradise is the kind of dreadful holiday mush that often is declared Capra-esque. But if It's a Wonderful Life's George Bailey were forced to watch it, he might reconsider suicide. [02 Dec 1994, p.4D]

The kind of quirky, character-driven comedy they don't make much anymore.

A wisp of ghost story that promises insight but is strictly soft focus.

Overlong, overdone and overwrought, the narratively challenged Set It Off gets off on exploitation shock and social-conscience schlock in equal measure. Yet it still manages to get it on entertainingly with a big assist from Latifah, blasting off the screen like human TNT, and Jada Pinkett (The Nutty Professor) in another firecracker performance. [06 Nov 1996]

Mirren is about the only reason this slow-moving revenge tale tingles at all.

Spend 60 years in jail with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence, and you'll understand why they call it the pokey. [16 April 1999, Life, p.5E]

Although about as authentic as Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, Martin at least gets to dress funny. Joan Cusack's D.A. looks dowdy and is misused. Carol Kane's grocery-store siren looks slutty and is underused. And as a cop, Melanie Mayron should slap cuffs on her hairdresser. [20 Aug 1990, p.4D]

The best romantic comedies intoxicate like vintage champagne. Picture Perfect, on the other hand, is like a wine spritzer. Insubstantial and oversweet, it still refreshes as a midsummer brain cooler. [1 August 1997, p. 3D]

Molasses-paced fable.

Final is a bad-line hoot-a-rama. Gere after aiding an Hispanic criminal: ''If Pepe is safe, then we are all safe.'' Basinger on her marriage: ''We share an apartment - emphasis on apart.'' But every joke needs a punchline. Alas, the finale of Final Analysis - the worst case of Vertigo sickness since Mel Brooks' High Anxiety - is just punch-drunk. [7 Feb 1992, p.5D]

Darkly comic 2 Days in the Valley is Tarantino lite and low-fat Altman. And that's not bad. It leaves you filled but without that bloated feeling. [27 Sept 1996]

The conclusion is a sweet bit of frosting on an otherwise unremarkable confection.

In Point of No Return, a pointless remake of the slickly violent 1990 import La Femme Nikita, Fonda unconvincingly attempts to fill French actress Anne Parillaud's skyscraper pumps as a punkish cop killer turned government assassin. Draped in the proverbial little black dress, Fonda blows away her targets in a chi-chi Washington restaurant and makes her getaway through the kitchen's laundry chute with a volley of explosives at her heels. But as she daintily steps around the spilt blood and lettuce, the fair-of-face Fonda is more debutante of death than lethal weapon. [19 March 1993, p.8D]

If the filmmakers were after a kind of Terms of Endearment for men, they didn't get it. Instead, revel in ''golden-agers'' Lemmon and Dukakis, and have a good cry. And shed an extra tear for a golden film opportunity lost. [27 Oct 1989, p.4D]

Someone should have treated See Spot Run like a bone and buried it.

The pitch of the script, written by director Mark Herman, isn't perfect. But these earthy blokes are an engaging lot, the soot of the earth, with an admirably wry view of their bleak situations. [23May1997 Pg 03.D]

It's so-so. As in mediocre. Even gross-out comedies need the stink of genius.

Nichols usually can lure A-list casts to even C-grade projects, and this is no exception.

If it's a spirit-lifter you want, Rudy is the perfect pep rally for your soul. [13 Oct 1993, p.8D]

Furiously fast and fiendishly funny, Disney's 35th animated feature, Hercules outlines its musical-comedy agenda pronto. Even its villainous super-schmoozer Hades, well-ignited by the neurotic natterings of James Woods, would appreciate such get-to-the-pointedness. [13 June 1997, p.1D]

If you want to see actors hang from metal stairs, here's your funhouse. If you seek chills, stick with the twigs in The Blair Witch Project. [23 July 1999, p.12E]

There's also a nice cheekiness to the material written by Robert Towne ("Chinatown"), and the usual cool high-tech toys are deployed.

Yummy yet empty.

Instead of ladling on the Scorsese sauce, Robert De Niro's Bronx accent is on semisweet nostalgia. He presents a domestic drama spiced with humor about a boy torn between his working-stiff dad (De Niro in fine regular-fella mode) and Chazz Palminteri's easy-money ways. De Niro doesn't let arty camera angles sub for good storytelling. And he draws memorable performances from two amazing young, new actors. [01 Oct 1993, p. 8D]

Think "Animal Farm" redone as Ant Farm. [2 October 1998, p. 11E]

Those who adore horror movies so much that they crave Count Chocula cereal may be amused. The rest can skip this walk on the Darkside. [07 May 1990, p.4D]

Instead of the inspired Brooks of Young Frankenstein, we get the middling Brooks of Spaceballs, in which you can see nearly every joke hovering like the Goodyear blimp. [28 July 1993, p.8D]

Higher Learning: John Singleton's ambitious potpourri of on-campus tensions - date rape, black power, white supremacy - all too quickly lapses into pandering preachiness. [17 Feb 1995, p.4D]

Ernest Goes to Jail is no yuk-a-minute - it's more a yuk-a-half-hour. [06 Apr 1990, p.4D]

Blaze is like an old-fashioned striptease - the juicy story line gets you all hot and bothered, but you end up wanting more. [13 Dec 1989, p.4D]

High-grade B flick about illegal street racing among gangs in Los Angeles applies the brakes only for the bare minimum of plot injection.

The foot-stomping, hand-clapping, ear-electrifying soundtrack, courtesy of such pros as B.B. King and Eric Clapton plus newcomers like Erykah Badu, in Blues Brothers 2000 (# # 1/2 out of four) rectifies many a movie-making sin in this near-Xerox sequel to the 1980 Saturday Night Live-spun hit starring Dan Aykroyd and the late John Belushi. [06 Feb 1998]

Director/co-writer/co-producer Nora Ephron is best known for the magical Sleepless in Seattle. Michael is mirthless in the Midwest. [24 Dec 1996 Pg.03.D]

Small-town setting, big-time charm. Paul Newman is no fool for taking this perfect-fit role as a hard-luck construction worker who reunites with his son. [03 Feb 1995, p.4D]

The more real Friday gets, the better it is. [26 Apr 1995]

The Glimmer Man is strictly a bummer, man. [07 Oct 1996, p.3D]

It's a case of bad guys who want to use an invader for nefarious purposes - in this case, germ warfare - and good guys who want to save humanity. The formula is still potent, especially when stirred by director Wolfgang Petersen. [10 Mar 1995, p.1D]

This is about Meg. Only about Meg. Meg in the Middle.

By the time the prey turns hunter, however, the tale becomes overly predictable. And it never taps Kingsley's potential as a ruthless father figure to the beauteous, almost-sympathetic creature. Still, Species is a kick to the finish, groaner ending and all. If anyone could make E.T. forget all about phoning home, it's Sil. [07 July 1995, p.12D]

As entertainment, such dark material can only stretch so far, and Series 7 comes awfully close to being as numbing as the genre it mocks. But its power can't be denied.

But most of the humor is about as fresh as the air left behind whenever Witherspoon uses a toilet.

Last time, director Garry Marshall gave us the fairy tale with Pretty Woman. This time, he gets the story right. [11 Oct 1991, p.1D]

Pure wish-fulfillment for Shaq-watchers who can't get enough of their 7-foot-1 basketball hero. [17 July 1996, p. 9D]

Directed with care by Leon Ichaso and written by New Jack's Barry Michael Cooper, snazzy-looking Hill also covers familiar terrain. [25 Feb 1994, p.4D]

November is when we eat turkey, and Sweet November is pretty much a fat, juicy gobbler passed off as Valentine's Day date bait.

Director John Carpenter (Halloween) draws the best out of a Topper-esque script that's surprisingly sophisticated. [28 Feb 1992, p.8D]

Unfortunately, someone said "party on" to Wayne's World 2 and forgot to invite any new ideas to rival those that made WWI such a pinhead's delight. [10 Dec 1993, p.9D]

Reeks of the kind of atmosphere that makes you reach for the Lysol.

It's a clever, multitiered affair built around the title rituals, frosted with delicious characterizations and tasty repartee. [11 March 1994, Life, p.4D]

Except there are all these dumb pranks even a third-grade schoolboy would be too embarrassed to commit - putting glue on chairs, making silly faces and stupid noises, setting off fireworks at the precinct house. [13 March 1989, p.5D]

Young girls will enjoy Lohan's matchmaking antics. But nostalgia-craving oldsters should stick to fond memories of Hayley [Mills]'s heyday.

The garden, an Edenic metaphor that gives the story its fertile power, should be as much of a living character as Maggie Smith's wonderfully brusque housekeeper - but isn't. As a result, everything that follows feels anti-climatic. Even if the plot plods a bit, there are pleasures to be plucked, especially in the performances of the children. [13 Aug 1993, p.4D]

An Innocent Man is no White Heat, and Selleck is no James Cagney. But this kind of fast-paced entertainment is almost top of the world, ma. [06 Oct 1989, p.5D]

So much water. Such a dramatic washout.

The special effects are scream-worthy, the gore is minimal and the humor has a folksy zing to it. [19 Jan 1990, p.1D]

The musical score is a dud, and the film is one firebomb too long. But GoldenEye's vision is 20/20 when it comes to reviving a legend. [17Nov1995 Pg.01.D]

At least Necessary Roughness strays from the usual game plan, but it ends up strictly Bush league. [27 Sept 1991, p.2D]

That Mrs. Doubtfire, a Tootsie Poppins for our times, misfires in the plausibility department and mis-aims its well-meaning if muddled messages about divorce doesn't matter. [24 Nov 1993 Pg. 01.D]

What remains is a great Vangelis score, astonishing production design, Hauer's career role -- and a movie that deserves its cult reputation despite an unloving heart. [11 Sept 1992]

The Penn-manship here is far from unimpressive. But if Sean gets a second chance, he should make his audience care as much as he does. [23 Sep 1991, p.4D]

In the wine-drenched romance A Walk in the Clouds, Keanu Reeves is like a flat root beer. Decent, honest, but no fizz. [11 Aug 1995, p.4D]

Who knew such a seamy swim in the misogynistic swill of life could be so entertaining?

Not for kids, silly. The little devils will devour this deviously delicious assault on abusive authority figures like the cake gobbled by the story's gluttonous schoolboy. [02 Aug 1996, p.1D]

A cheap and easy amusement, one that's gone a little stale and never quite rises to the occasion.

A kernel of cleverness lurks in Popcorn. But it's the kind that sticks in your throat. [01 Feb 1991, p.5D]

Director Robert Zemeckis, who handled visual foolery with finesse in the Back to the Future series and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, is no Ponce de Leon when it comes to rejuvenating a half-baked story. Once Death dumps out its bag of tricks, there's no place to go but six feet under. [31 July 1992, p.6D]

a painful though sadly humorous portrait of sisterhood deftly written by Leigh's mom, Barbara Turner, and directed with just-right spareness by Ulu Grosbard. [08 Dec 1995]

This senior-class Cabaret is just a TV after-school special with a better soundtrack. [05 Mar 1993]

Face it. Parody comedies are no longer a laughing matter. [25 October 1996, p.5D]

Isn't all that romantic and is only half as funny as it thinks it is.

Director Dominic Sena appears more enamored of peeping-Tom camerawork than plot logic. [03 Sep 1993]

The Cutting Edge is a sharp-looking but rinky-dink rink romance that would earn 6.0's in compulsory cliches. [27 March 1992, p.4D]

Kiss is tasty-enough escape fare. Just don't expect anything more filling than Hershey's foiled variety. [10 Jul 1992, p.5D]

Little ones may squirm during the more literary parts, but the sappy tunes by Paul Williams make fine potty breaks. Adults will enjoy the gently mocking tone - Rizzo asks whether the ghostly goings-on will scare kids. ''Nah,'' replies Gonzo. ''This is culture.'' As for the Muppets, it's great to see them together again on the big screen. God bless them, every one. [11 Dec 1992, p.4D]

Sure, take the young'uns. But don't be surprised if movie time turns into nap time. [6 July 1990]

A romantic comedy has to woo an audience into taking a chance on love. While You Were Sleeping is that kind of sneaky charmer, more riveting than ribbit-ing. [21 Apr 1995, Pg.01.D]

Pet Sematary Two is the cinematic equivalent of roadkill. Disgusting to look at and a bloody awful mess. [31 Aug 1992, p.4D]

Engagingly offbeat. [4 December 1998, Life, p.13E]

The ensemble cast, struggling with wanly written characters, hits more clunkers than high notes.

Director Chuck Hanson, who did The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, provides many pretty-postcard shots of Oregon and Montana. But he should have been the hand that rocks the raft instead of holding off on most of the foamy feats until the final minutes. [30 Sep 1994, p.5D]

Isn't always perfect. But it fills an empty spot in the hearts of girls of all ages who have been pining all summer for a movie like this.

This isn't art, it's commerce. [20 Nov 1992, p.1D]

As buddy pics go, this is pretty much not even worth a single look, let alone a double take.

Happily, MacLaine (who can pull off these lovable eccentric dowagers while she's sleeping) and Fraser, showcasing a previously untapped flair for romantic comedy, keep Lake on her toes. [19 Apr 1996, p.1D]

Seeing Noises Off the movie is better than waiting for it to arrive at the local dinner theater. But served in a setting devoid of spontaneity, Off just seems a little off. [20 March 1992, p.4D]

A pathetically dumb attempt to string a bunch of second-rate skits together like a garland of rotten cranberries.

Pacific Heights may not have a psychopath worthy of Psycho. But it has a timely moral: Never rush to buy in a sluggish housing market. [28 Sept 1990, p.9D]

A gut-busting blast of tasteless tomfoolery.

Ultimately the title is most revealing. It's hollow, man.

Nothing really fun, scary or exceptionally gross occurs.

(Craven) and his Scream dream team have done a frightfully good job of killing off and wrapping up the popular horror series.

Yearning for an old-fashioned movie with a well-told, uplifting message? Music of the Heart is playing your song.

Unlike glossier renderings of twentysomething love, Eric Schaeffer's If Lucy Fell at least elicits the heartfelt goodwill of a messy homemade valentine. [8 March 1996]

Maybe I'm just too old to appreciate the startling sight of a phallus jammed into someone's ear.

It's not dumb-good. It's dumb-stupid.

From morning traffic jams to passive-aggressive bosses who justify their existence by making yours miserable, Space gets it right. [19 Feb 1999]

If only the story that surrounds this watchable heroine were as well-stacked.

From the moment he trudges through the woods in his scratched and smudged birthday suit, Paul Bettany as a saucy Geoffrey Chaucer takes command.

Another one of those high-gloss treatments of domestic strife that want to have it both ways. Sitcom-slick, melodrama-edgy.

A gentler adjunct to the dumb-buddy craze that's mostly inoffensive, save for a gratuitous bong-smoking scene. [31 Mar 1995, p.4D]

His (Myers) affection for the era and its gaudy, bawdy movies inject this bit of fluff with giddy energy.

Washed away by drippy plot. [16 January 1998, p. 4D]

Delivers diverting comic fluff for the bland clan's fans. [23 Aug 1996, p.8D]

Atypical teen drama about opposites attracting that often (and happily) confounds expectations.

Director Stephen Norrington is more keen on finding new ways to explode the fiends... than developing a credible story. So the movie flits from one gore-laden assault to another with little suspense.

What Aykroyd concocts here is about as appetizing as that fish shake he made on Saturday Night Live. Meet Hollywood's first Bass-o-matic filmmaker. [18 Feb 1991, p.2D]

Goldberg has her best role in a while, especially when she twitches and grunts her way into phony trances. Poor Demi, though, cries enough tears to drench a small drought-stricken state. [13 July 1990, Life, p.4D]

Just be glad that Hanks and Zemeckis toiled mightily to pull off at least two-thirds of a remarkable achievement.

But there is a satisfying, old-fashioned "Moonstruck" sensibility at work, one that will be appreciated by folks who like their beef corned and their movies cornier.

A film that wins on 'Courage' of its convictions. {12 July 1996, p. D1]

Pacino cans the showboating bluster and gives a gently nuanced portrait of a simple man in decline.

Neither as funny and scary as the first, nor as campy and breathless as the second, Alien 3 can only settle for third best. Considering the state of sci-fi movies, that may be enough. [22 May 1992, p.12D]

Quaid's return to form is worth cheering. He helps make Flesh a watchable depressant. [05 Nov 1993, p.4D]

The film ultimately lets Mirabelle down and leaves the viewer dissatisfied. A "Lost in Translation" drained of its wryly observed humor, Shopgirl is worth a browse. But it isn't always easy to buy.

Now and again, the bizarre occurs, such as when Fred and Barney don showgirl outfits and seem to be doing their version of "The Birdcage." But mundane is more the norm.

These gun-crazy, lust-loopy kids on the run are irresistible in the best crime rush since “GoodFellas.” [10 Sept 1993]

Yet, when it all clicks, Ephron is able to make the familiar sparkle anew. [25 Jun 1993 Pg. 01.D]

Sheer power, moral and otherwise. It possesses a massively majestic hero. [10 Dec 1997, p.D1]

Costner and Russo show they're up to par. [16 August 1996, p.D1]

After gagging on this second helping, all we can say is, Bernie, rest in peace already. [12 July 1993, p.4D]

Tango is a Lethal Weapon without lethal wit. [22 Dec 1989, p.7D]

Like a lava lamp turned on high, Joe Versus the Volcano glows with originality. Go bask in it. [9 Mar 1990, p.4D]

This guy defines loner. He's on the outs with his father and kid brother, and the Koreans treat him like he's the Vanilla Ice of karate. Generation gap. Cultural gap. Logic gap. Weapon has more gaps than a cut-rate set of dentures. [19 Mar 1991, p.8D]

Such pure, naked joy is utterly contagious.