Susan Wloszczyna

If only the story that surrounds this watchable heroine were as well-stacked.

From the moment he trudges through the woods in his scratched and smudged birthday suit, Paul Bettany as a saucy Geoffrey Chaucer takes command.

The best parts of this tepid thriller, which seems designed to actually lower audience’s heart rates, arrive before the plot kicks in.

Michael Chiklis doesn’t get to inject nearly enough humor as Coach Lad’s more demonstrative assistant.

Director Stephen Norrington is more keen on finding new ways to explode the fiends... than developing a credible story. So the movie flits from one gore-laden assault to another with little suspense.

Goldberg has her best role in a while, especially when she twitches and grunts her way into phony trances. Poor Demi, though, cries enough tears to drench a small drought-stricken state. [13 July 1990, Life, p.4D]

As hard as it is to admit, Guest’s once-incisive satirical bite has grown dull in its familiarity. He doesn’t seem to be having as much fun here and neither are we.

At a certain point, however, I began to treat The Song as a kind of guilty pleasure, a not particularly good movie that nonetheless entertains in spite of itself.

Cusack's distinctive handling of his sullen poet offers an opportunity for Adult World to make a statement about youthful ambition and middle-age disillusionment beyond Billings dubbing Amy and her peers as "Generation Mundane." But the film just stops short of truly achieving that goal.

Yet, when it all clicks, Ephron is able to make the familiar sparkle anew. [25 Jun 1993 Pg. 01.D]

A somber and derivative relationship drama.

All in all, Very Good Girls is a very bad excuse to subject those of us who have enjoyed Fanning ever since 2001’s "I Am Sam" to seeing her flash her bare fanny, fondle herself provocatively and cavort in her underwear for no dramatic purpose. Yes, she should be allowed to grow up onscreen. But without a story that justifies it, it just feels sad and desperate.

Rather than presenting something akin to the heady youthful cravings of Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes as contemporary versions of Romeo and Juliet, the equally tragic Marguerite & Julien often feels more like a version of Richie and Margot in Wes Anderson’s “The Royal Tenenbaums” crossed with the pre-teen runaways from “Moonrise Kingdom,” but minus the humor and insight.

The Angry Birds Movie isn’t a total turkey. The animation itself is OK and I did laugh out loud once.

Under the guise of delivering one of the most overworked of messages - adults are dolts, kids rule - North fails such basics as a compelling story, fleshed-out characters and a brisk, bright pace. [22 Jul 1994, p.5D]

It settles for the recycled emotions of the past despite the fact "Schindler's List" has forever made such treatment shamefully passe. [18Apr1997 Pg.03.D]

t's far too soon for an actress as vital as Jessica Lange to stoop to Bette Davis-Joan Crawford horror-hag histrionics. [6 Mar 1998, pg.04D]

The transition from Hanna-Barbera animation to manic-barbaric live action falls flatter than a granite slab, from the first of many deadly stone-age wordplays - "Steven Spielrock Presents" - to the gross-out shots of dirty tootsies. [27 May 1994 Pg. 01.D]

As a condescening moron who natters on non-stop in this simplistic comedy, Elliott doesn't just wear out his welcome, he nukes it. [14 Jan 1994]

Pytka may know how to push fizzy water, but he certainly can't make a punch line sparkle. [21 Aug 1989]

How to Be a Latin Lover all too quickly devolves into a nearly two-hour slog showcasing Mexican comedy superstar Eugenio Derbez’s attempt to seduce U.S. audiences with a cheesy bilingual spoof of an ethnic stereotype long past its expiration date.

As a director, Seagal isn't much on transition scenes. That would cut into the time devoted to knives slicing through heads. [21 Feb 1994, p.4D]

Just like its albino-like villains, this Village is a pale imitation. [28 Apr 1995, p.3D]

The story ends up being one wrong turn after another. A GPS hasn’t been invented that could get this plot-hole-riddled script back on track.

Yes, the casual-chic interior designs shine as much as her mom’s ever did. But I never really felt at home with Home Again.

All the Drano in the world couldn't fix what's clogging the works in Super Mario Bros. [1 June 1993, p.6D]

Unless you have a craving to watch a sluggish Ski-Doo race or want to admire Chase dressed as a hula dancer, consider this the cinematic equivalent of yellow snow.

There's probably a fall-out-of-your-seat, laugh-your-head-off comedy to be made about house guests. Meanwhile, the maddeningly mediocre Madhouse will have to do. [16 Feb 1990, p.4D]