For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 31 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Indie sci-fi film Kill Switch is the worst kind of science-fiction film: the kind that coasts on a central gimmick instead of delivering either visceral or intellectual thrills.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Harmonium is consistently about mood more than anything else. You sink into the film at first. Then, with each new leisurely introduced plot point, you struggle to regain your sense of calm since, after a while, the film's protagonists are doing the exact same thing.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    You might come to Camera Obscura expecting nothing more than a kite-high concept like "camera that photographs future murders." But you too will be disappointed if you expect anything more from the film since its creators do not offer satisfying cheap thrills and/or thoughtful consideration of a veteran/artist's tortured post-war psyche.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    A spectacularly miscalculated historical epic.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Sleazy Australian kidnapping drama Hounds of Love will make you wish you were watching a more traditionally nihilistic horror film.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The problem with The Drowning isn't that the characters are insubstantial, but rather that they don't dry up and disappear fast enough.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    At some point, queasy horror-comedy Another Evil stops being about one man's comically vain attempts at exorcising his home, and starts being a weird character study about a laughably desperate wannabe exorcist.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    It's loud, it's gory, and there are musical numbers. Behold, the first great summer film is here, and it's a three-hour-long action-adventure about a leader whose heroic deeds make Conan the Barbarian look like a wimp.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Dumont's characters' motives are consequently hard to divine, despite convincingly twitchy performances from French actors Fabrice Luchini and Juliette Binoche. So while I do recommend Slack Bay, I must warn you: this is a misanthropic comedy that features cannibalism, weird religious overtones, and a lot of goony pratfalls.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film patly confirms what "The Lion King" already taught '90s kids: we should take comfort in knowing that everything in life is natural when seen as part of the "circle of life," as surprisingly effective voiceover narrator John Krasinski reminds us.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    The film's short-comings are especially upsetting since Schwarzenegger is actually rather good in the film, and proves once again that, despite a severely limited range, he knows how to brood.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Lowe's attempts at getting into anti-heroine Ruth's head are largely unsuccessful, though her performance is sometimes effectively hysterical.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    This isn't a knowing parody of a beloved show, a la the 2012 reboot/parody "21 Jump Street"; it's a sample of the brain-dead entertainment against which its creators are supposedly reacting.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    I found myself captivated by The Devil's Candy because of how well Embry conveys his character's angst-y struggle to understand himself.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    The characters could have embodied traits of typical office drones and managers, turning the film into a savage black comedy. But those elements aren't developed beyond a point, making the movie's only selling point its excessive gore and violence.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Maslany and Cullen's characters seem intended to be psychologically realistic, but they're only as complex as The Other Half's surface-deep style.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Indian melodrama Rangoon somehow manages to be emotionally resonant despite being overstuffed. This is no small feat given how many different genres, tones, and characters this film juggles.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blood-soaked Indonesian martial arts flick Headshot is for anyone who liked "The Bourne Identity," but wished it were way more violent.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Is it good? Uh, well, kind of. Does it make sense? Hmm, er, ask me another. Is it worth seeing? Oh, absolutely.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Great Wall has significant problems — namely with Damon and sidekick Pedro Pascal's lack of bromantic chemistry — but chief among its rewards is its ability to marry its Eastern and Western sensibilities.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Smart and scary horror films about faith, and loneliness are rare, and for the most part, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is pretty exciting.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Disappointing because its creators don't do anything interesting with a fairly novel theme: a mother's possessive love for her estranged daughter.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Wu and Lin have great chemistry, but only because Chow was smart enough to reimagine Journey to the West as a rare character-driven big-budget action-adventure — the kind of thing Americans might love if they knew it existed.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Tomer Heymann's uneven doc Mr. Gaga offers a character study of Israeli dance choreographer Ohad Naharin, but the scope and power of Naharin's art only becomes clear when the dancers illustrate rather than comment on his distinctively twitchy, animalistic "gaga" style of movement.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Watching The Lure is a bit like having manic depression—the thrilling high points are just as relentless as the crushing low-tide ebbs.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Kung Fu Yoga doesn't feel like a young man's film. Normally that would be a cause for celebration, but in this case, Chan's latest doesn't just address, but rather shows his age.
    • 86 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    One of those rare animated movies that transports you to a different setting without demanding that you focus on narrative or character development.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    "Bird on a Wire" is a time capsule of a specific period in Cohen's career. But it also neatly illustrates the singer's personality in an accessible and compelling way. It's that rare concert doc that isn't for established fans only.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Neophyte writer/director Christopher Papakaliatis eventually shows an affinity for filming two people in love, but his actors often lack the chemistry to make us believe that their bond transcends all socioeconomic boundaries.
    • 25 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    When Cage works with a less decisive director—or just one that's content to let Cage do whatever he wants—he seems to forget what acting is and desperately bellows for attention, like a neophyte actor whose intensity is his fallback pose.

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