Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
-
40% higher than the average critic
-
6% same as the average critic
-
54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
-
Positive: 390 out of 854
-
Mixed: 239 out of 854
-
Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
- By Date
- By Critic Score
-
- Simon Abrams
Writer/director Liu Jian has taken familiar stylistic elements, and made them feel fresh, and exciting. Have a Nice Day may be Jian's second feature after "Piercing I," but it feels like a major breakthrough.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 26, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The maddeningly unfocused Israeli documentary West of the Jordan River doesn’t reveal anything insightful about Gaza settlers’ reasons for either supporting or rejecting a two-state solution.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 25, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
What Taylor and his game cast, led by Selma Blair and Nicolas Cage, do get right will leave you excited, and eager for more.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 19, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 18, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Writer/director Sam Hoffman's trite dramedy about personal redemption delivers mediocre performances.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 12, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Really, whatever you do, don't watch "The Last Key" without the emotional support of a buddy who can confirm that you're not just imagining this: these movies are still getting incrementally better.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 5, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Retrograde, bloated, and formulaic. It's also consistently sincere, energizing, and charming.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 4, 2018
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
This big, splashy blockbuster is perplexing because it's full of loosely-connected incidents that are rarely character-driven, or even narratively intelligible beyond a point.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 15, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The filmmakers over-extend themselves to solicit empathy for their doomed protagonists. Youth is so unbearably nice that I eventually wished it were remade by misanthropes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 15, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
A gonzo ten-minute standoff between Adrien Brody and a man-eating pitbull single-handedly justifies the existence of the otherwise uninspired heist thriller Bullet Head.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 7, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
You may think that you, the viewer, have it bad by the sixty minute mark, at which point you probably won't care who is inevitably going to backstab who. But just think of the poor subtitle translator who had to agonize over dialogue so leaden that it took the joy out of a word that's as joyfully outdated as "swindler."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
A typical Hong character performs the same actions over and over again, with minor, but noticeably different results.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 17, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Queer writer-director Mitchell Lichtenstein (the mind behind the vagina dentata horror-comedy Teeth) and an impressive team of collaborators inspire laughs and/or terror out of the libidinal hang-ups of frail stay-at-home mom Constance (Jena Malone) and her unfulfilled spouse, Joseph (Ed Stoppard).- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 16, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
I was also so disturbed by this film that I felt I had to rewatch certain scenes just to confirm that the emotional exhaustion I experienced while watching it wasn't just a personal preference, but rather a problem I had with what Iwai and his collaborators do in the film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 10, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Gibney may encourage viewers to condemn the police, but his self-righteous editorializing doesn’t make up for the lack of convincing evidence.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 9, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Until her plight becomes emotionally engaging during the film's creepy finale 20-30 minutes, watching Most Beautiful Island is an unproductively unpleasant experience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 3, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Come for the gory swordplay, stay for the half-serious melodrama.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
While I can't exactly recommend seeing Jigsaw, I can tell you that it's fun to watch. I just don't think it's the kind of fun the filmmakers' planned.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 27, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Leatherface tries to show us what made the man we know the legend he is now. Sadly, the makers of Leatherface didn't put enough thought into a sleepy story that could easily be titled "I Was a Teenage Leatherface."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 20, 2017
- Read full review
-
- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 13, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The Christmas-themed home-invasion movie Better Watch Out starts out as one kind of unpleasant, then switches gears to a higher level of unearned nastiness.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 6, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
If you are willing to suspend your disbelief for 132 minutes, you may find yourself head-over-heels for this film's brand of gross, thoughtful pulp fiction.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 6, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
I want to recommend Don't Sleep because it is, intellectually, more compelling than many of the indie horror films I tend to watch. But I can't recommend this movie, mostly because it's not smart enough to deserve that praise.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 29, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
American Made may be superficially a condemnation of the hypocritical American impulse to take drug suppliers' money with one hand and chastise users with the other. But it's mostly a sensational, sub-"Wolf of Wall Street"-style true crime story that attempts to seduce you, then abandon you.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 28, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The limitations of Palansky and co-writer Mike Vukadinovich's shared vision are, realistically, the biggest problem with Rememory.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 8, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The Limehouse Golem only reflects its creators' lack of imagination. Medina and Goldman invest so much time in (poorly) misleading audiences that they say nothing memorable about the past, or why it matters to today's audience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 8, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
This is the horror movie equivalent of canned Spam: you could have it so much better if you tried harder (or at all).- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
There's a lot of chutzpah on display throughout the film, even during essentially soggy, dialogue-intensive sequences, which are broken up by disorienting flashbacks. But Jung's biggest failing is his inability to make Sook-hee a heroine worth caring about.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 25, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, Lau just isn't charming enough to carry the utterly forgettable The Adventurers, a tepid remake of John Woo's already lame heist flick "Once a Thief."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 18, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Song's performance makes me wish the rest of A Taxi Driver was as thoughtful.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 11, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Bonello knows exactly when he's said just enough, and that makes the experience of watching Nocturama more engaging.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 11, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Wolf Warrior 2 lectures you, pummels you, and then expects you to cheer.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 10, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The heroes of this film are, in other words, selfish, but never in a venal, or ugly way. They're human, and they do what they must to face each successive challenge they're confronted with.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 4, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Without Charlize Theron, the spy adventure Atomic Blonde would only be clever. She makes it insightful. The actress gives emotional depth to the highly mannered behavior of the film’s heroine.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 26, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The main distinguishing feature of this film is its almost-novel nesting-doll plot structure, and passing thematic interest in its narrative's formulaic nature.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 21, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Kuso may often feel unproductively loud, and monotonous, but it is a head-scratcher worth contending with.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 21, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Endless Poetry is as galvanizing as a lightning rod because it's equally accepting, and intolerant, a pro-individualist work about celebrating and cultivating yourself.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 14, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The characters in this film are defined by motives that are small enough to be relatable, and actions that are big enough to be inspiring.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 7, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Paulina is, in that sense, worth seeing, even if its basic plot repeatedly stalls. It is a thoughtful movie, but not necessarily a fulfilling one.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 23, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Indie sci-fi film Kill Switch is the worst kind of science-fiction film: the kind that coasts on a central gimmick instead of delivering either visceral or intellectual thrills.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 16, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Harmonium is consistently about mood more than anything else. You sink into the film at first. Then, with each new leisurely introduced plot point, you struggle to regain your sense of calm since, after a while, the film's protagonists are doing the exact same thing.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 16, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
You might come to Camera Obscura expecting nothing more than a kite-high concept like "camera that photographs future murders." But you too will be disappointed if you expect anything more from the film since its creators do not offer satisfying cheap thrills and/or thoughtful consideration of a veteran/artist's tortured post-war psyche.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 9, 2017
- Read full review
-
- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 2, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Sleazy Australian kidnapping drama Hounds of Love will make you wish you were watching a more traditionally nihilistic horror film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 12, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The problem with The Drowning isn't that the characters are insubstantial, but rather that they don't dry up and disappear fast enough.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 11, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
At some point, queasy horror-comedy Another Evil stops being about one man's comically vain attempts at exorcising his home, and starts being a weird character study about a laughably desperate wannabe exorcist.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 5, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
It's loud, it's gory, and there are musical numbers. Behold, the first great summer film is here, and it's a three-hour-long action-adventure about a leader whose heroic deeds make Conan the Barbarian look like a wimp.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 5, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Dumont's characters' motives are consequently hard to divine, despite convincingly twitchy performances from French actors Fabrice Luchini and Juliette Binoche. So while I do recommend Slack Bay, I must warn you: this is a misanthropic comedy that features cannibalism, weird religious overtones, and a lot of goony pratfalls.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 21, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The film patly confirms what "The Lion King" already taught '90s kids: we should take comfort in knowing that everything in life is natural when seen as part of the "circle of life," as surprisingly effective voiceover narrator John Krasinski reminds us.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 21, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The film's short-comings are especially upsetting since Schwarzenegger is actually rather good in the film, and proves once again that, despite a severely limited range, he knows how to brood.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 7, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Lowe's attempts at getting into anti-heroine Ruth's head are largely unsuccessful, though her performance is sometimes effectively hysterical.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 24, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
This isn't a knowing parody of a beloved show, a la the 2012 reboot/parody "21 Jump Street"; it's a sample of the brain-dead entertainment against which its creators are supposedly reacting.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 24, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
I found myself captivated by The Devil's Candy because of how well Embry conveys his character's angst-y struggle to understand himself.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 17, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The characters could have embodied traits of typical office drones and managers, turning the film into a savage black comedy. But those elements aren't developed beyond a point, making the movie's only selling point its excessive gore and violence.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 16, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Maslany and Cullen's characters seem intended to be psychologically realistic, but they're only as complex as The Other Half's surface-deep style.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 9, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Indian melodrama Rangoon somehow manages to be emotionally resonant despite being overstuffed. This is no small feat given how many different genres, tones, and characters this film juggles.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 9, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Blood-soaked Indonesian martial arts flick Headshot is for anyone who liked "The Bourne Identity," but wished it were way more violent.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 3, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Is it good? Uh, well, kind of. Does it make sense? Hmm, er, ask me another. Is it worth seeing? Oh, absolutely.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 24, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
The Great Wall has significant problems — namely with Damon and sidekick Pedro Pascal's lack of bromantic chemistry — but chief among its rewards is its ability to marry its Eastern and Western sensibilities.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 17, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Smart and scary horror films about faith, and loneliness are rare, and for the most part, "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" is pretty exciting.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 13, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Disappointing because its creators don't do anything interesting with a fairly novel theme: a mother's possessive love for her estranged daughter.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 3, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Wu and Lin have great chemistry, but only because Chow was smart enough to reimagine Journey to the West as a rare character-driven big-budget action-adventure — the kind of thing Americans might love if they knew it existed.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 2, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Writer/director Tomer Heymann's uneven doc Mr. Gaga offers a character study of Israeli dance choreographer Ohad Naharin, but the scope and power of Naharin's art only becomes clear when the dancers illustrate rather than comment on his distinctively twitchy, animalistic "gaga" style of movement.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Watching The Lure is a bit like having manic depression—the thrilling high points are just as relentless as the crushing low-tide ebbs.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 1, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Kung Fu Yoga doesn't feel like a young man's film. Normally that would be a cause for celebration, but in this case, Chan's latest doesn't just address, but rather shows his age.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 27, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
One of those rare animated movies that transports you to a different setting without demanding that you focus on narrative or character development.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 20, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
"Bird on a Wire" is a time capsule of a specific period in Cohen's career. But it also neatly illustrates the singer's personality in an accessible and compelling way. It's that rare concert doc that isn't for established fans only.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 18, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Neophyte writer/director Christopher Papakaliatis eventually shows an affinity for filming two people in love, but his actors often lack the chemistry to make us believe that their bond transcends all socioeconomic boundaries.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 11, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
When Cage works with a less decisive director—or just one that's content to let Cage do whatever he wants—he seems to forget what acting is and desperately bellows for attention, like a neophyte actor whose intensity is his fallback pose.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 6, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
German Concentration Camps Factual Survey may not teach us today much that Schindler's List, your local rabbi, or a quick Google search can't, but it remains a vital artifact of a time when Dachau and Auschwitz were not synonymous with "genocide."- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 5, 2017
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Unlike the actual video game, Assassin's Creed isn't ridiculous and fun, but rather ridiculous and turgid.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 21, 2016
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Even the most masochistic filmgoers should avoid Waxman and Seagal's latest collaboration, a boring vanity project that doesn't even competently flatter its star.- Village Voice
- Posted Dec 7, 2016
- Read full review
-
- Simon Abrams
Only really comes alive when cars are being used as battering rams and computer-generated explosions proliferate like fireworks.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 2, 2016
- Read full review