For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s the quasi-gothic scenario that’s amusing here, and it’s as fraught as it is straight-forward. That and a perverse sense of humor puts “Amelia’s Children” over the top, though it’s never quite ha-ha hard enough to be satirical, nor sincere enough to be campy.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Deliver Us stands out because its creators have struck the ideal balance of lull-inducing silences to daft genre trope punctuation. It doesn’t make much sense, or flow smoothly from one scene to the next. But boy, Deliver Us sure does what it does.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    As it is, “Land of Bad” is a pandering drama with some action movie thrills.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Khufiya isn’t a deconstruction of the spy thriller, but it does blatantly re-orient viewers to what’s often missing or downplayed in stories about spies, many of whom are presented as solitary little wheels who work for big organizations that could stop needing them at a moment’s notice.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Scafidi’s movie appropriately reflects its director’s neurotic need to show all the different ways you can think about Argento and his art.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Fighter never strays far from the path that other movies like it have previously charted, but it still delivers most of what it promises.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Barnaby Clay successfully keeps viewers on our toes, even if a lot of his movie feels like a series of programmatic jabs at our complacence.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    A couple of pedal-to-the-floor melodramatic twists suggest that “Founders Days” might’ve been a bolder or just meaner genre movie, but its toothless satire, like its timid horror drama, sadly doesn’t cut it.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Ray and his co-stars’ easy chemistry makes you want to hang out with Will, if only to see where the plot twist takes him. “Destroy All Neighbors” wouldn’t really work without that essential playfulness; the fact that it works at all suggests that Ms. Lee and her team are the movie’s real MVPs.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    I Did It My Way exemplifies the current state of mass-oriented Hong Kong genre cinema, leaning hard on its seasoned cast to both remind viewers of better movies and carry this one around the bases fast enough that you still get your money’s worth.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    There’s no question that Neel’s the key to Salaar’s success, so it’s hard to get too upset for his reminding us with every italicized, bolded, and underlined flourish.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    “Rebel Moon” often looks more like an animated pitch for a movie than an actual movie with human characters, urgent drama, emotional stakes, and so forth.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Archies celebrates its protagonists’ character-defining youth by letting them be cute, doofy, and mostly self-absorbed.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    There’s not enough cold sweat ambience here, and that makes it even harder to root for a modestly budgeted chiller whose creators clearly started their project from a place of cinephilic affection. Even sympathetic genre fans will have trouble finding something new about such old hat material.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Some people might enjoy a solitary clip from a Henry Rollins interview, as well as occasional anecdotes from “Rescue Dawn” star Christian Bale (another Batman!). Others might wonder why we’re watching a chaotic docu-salute to Herzog when we could be watching a Herzog movie instead.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yamazaki’s style, like his movie’s politics, only looks conservative when compared to his predecessors. He made a good Godzilla movie, if not a great one.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, while “Monster” depends on dramatic irony and revelatory twists, it’s also a showcase for director Hirokazu Kore-eda, whose knack for collaboration brings out the best in his actors, especially his younger cast members.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    There’s no way to enjoy “Cypher” without seeing it as an elaborate and often exasperating joke at viewers’ expense.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    You still might get what you want from Tiger 3 during the action and musical scenes, which have their moments.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching “Leo,” it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from “Leo,” it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you’re looking for meaning, humor, or comfort, you’d best not look for it here.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The makers of Going to Mars do right by Giovanni by showing how she speaks for herself.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Five Nights at Freddy’s has most of the right elements for a good post-Amblin kiddy fright-fest, except maybe good dialogue and distinct characters. Watching the movie, one gets the sense that the games’ morbid personality has been sanded down to its most generic jump-scares and banal revelations.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching Leo, it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from Leo, it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Night of the Hunted might have been a productively grim exercise if it didn’t feel like Alice’s dilemma wasn’t just a pretext for more ostensibly shocking talking points.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Whatever promise the “V/H/S” horror anthology franchise started with is barely present in V/H/S/85, a low-energy potboiler that promises to transport genre fans back to the analog past for some reason.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    While “Creation of the Gods I” is not yet a personal, let alone essential, series, you can see glimpses of the epic that director Wuershan has arguably been working his way up to since “The Butcher, the Chef, and the Swordsman,” his wildly uneven, but occasionally disarming 2010 breakthrough.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Four Latinx-themed horror segments of variable quality are sandwiched between a modestly amusing wrap-around story about a haunted traveler, simply called “The Traveler.” It’s not enough, despite some amusing performances and effects-driven thrills.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The main reason that Jawan doesn’t deliver more than what Khan’s previously delivered is because its creators seemingly included every masala-style sub-plot that they could think of.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Eventually, the lack of werewolf-related carnage is the least concerning thing about My Animal.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Finley deserves credit for adding extra wrinkles to Anderson’s story, but Landscape with Invisible Hand doesn’t cut deep enough to leave a mark.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Icelandic/German conspiracy thriller Operation Napoleon would be as comforting as its airport thriller plot if it weren’t also baggy, joyless, and spiritually depleting.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Beasts may not be realistic, but it is genuinely eerie.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    It’s just over 90 minutes long, but Streetwise still feels like an epic poem, shrunken down and sparingly polished for maximum effect.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Fear the Night often feels like it was made by artists who understand the type of movie that they’re making but maybe don’t really care enough about making it, either as a by-the-numbers genre exercise or a repudiation of its fans and their need for pseudo-enlightened catharsis.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Some of the familiar and faithfully recreated twists and turns of the original “One Cut of the Dead” still land here, but not enough to make this leaden remake seem endearing or zany enough to pick through.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Rather than dig into what’s specifically changing about their relationship, Duplass and Eslyn focus on armchair psychology and black-box speeches to explain away what’s really going on with these two men.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    A few compelling emotions and themes are suggested but rarely well expressed in Nimona, a sometimes cute but mostly hyper and overextended animated sci-fi fantasy.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Eventually, this outstanding reboot’s most generic elements appear subordinate to the title character’s deranged, boyish, and sometimes romantic subjective reality.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The bittersweet Korean drama Aloners works best when it’s a character study about an isolated thirtysomething’s behavior instead of whatever her creators think should be done about it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    There are hints of a deeper movie here, but the one on-screen sticks too closely to stories and ideas we already know.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Killing bigots is a fine enough pretext for this sort of watered-down post-grindhouse entertainment, but if you’re honestly going to go there, you can’t stop til you’re past the point of apology.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Between underwhelming action scenes and draining expository dialogue, Assassin Club often leaves its cast out to dry.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Hypnotic may not be clever or energetic enough to keep your mind from wandering, but it is charming in its own stumbling way.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ratnam and his collaborators stick the landing on their gargantuan pot-boiler, and while Krishnamurthy’s world may not look as grand as it seemed, either in the moviemakers’ heads or on the page, it is big enough to get lost in.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    You never have to wonder or try to understand what the characters are feeling because they never stop telling you how to feel. The answer, invariably, is sad and fearful, but From Black is neither, really.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Ride On isn’t a generic beat-em-up but a stingy elegy to a bygone era of filmmaking and an unbelievable melodrama about an older artist and his estranged daughter. A lot of emotional baggage is attached to Ride On, and very little of it gets unpacked.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Zlotowski’s stylized depiction of Rachel’s life is overly fastidious. Many creative decisions, from the score to the camera blocking, took me out of the movie. Instead of a complex character processing involved, compound emotions, I saw a talented filmmaker lightly touch upon a range of emotions while also studiously avoiding dramatic clichés and stereotypes.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen doesn’t exactly swing for the fences here, but Sakra still lands exactly where its multi-hyphenate star needs it to.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Smoking Causes Coughing works because Dupieux’s already been here and done similar things before. This is just a superior collection of shaggy dog jokes.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Byun ultimately pulls too many punches, but Kill Boksoon remains impressive, if only for its unexpected sensitivity and considerable emotional range.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More detailed critical or historical context might have enhanced director Amanda Kim’s already informative and loving portrait of Korean video artist Nam June Paik. But there’s so much in Kim’s movie—especially in actor Steven Yeun’s voiceover narration and talking head interviews with Paik’s colleagues and contemporaries—that this account of Paik’s working life still resonates.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, there's a considerable nasty streak that runs throughout Furies, and it isn't limited to the movie's antagonists.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    It’s schtickier and less assured than the first “Shazam!” but these leftovers still reheat well enough.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The corridors of power are narrow and spider-vein-thin in Full River Red but still well-traveled and precisely navigated by Zhang and his well-synchronized collaborators.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Hokey and unconvincing, “Tetris” skims the surface of a genuinely curious “true story” thriller, which too often plays out like a Disney-ified version of “The Social Network.”
    • 22 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    While the first Children of the Corn was made on a reported budget of $800,000, it somehow doesn’t look as cheap as this new Children of the Corn, which eventually delivers just enough formulaic violence.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    The consistently disjointed ensemble dramedy She Came to Me never settles on a sensible tone to match its anxious, but well-meaning characters, most of whom are neither so ridiculous nor so tragic to be either laugh aloud funny or convincingly dramatic.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    This isn’t a story, but an evocative collection of asked-and-answered prompts. You buy a ticket to Pacifiction and then you react, until the nudging stops.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    These episodic sketches immediately feel monotonous since the plot isn't arranged in chronological or sequential order; leaps in time from 1945 back to 1941 and then forward to eventually 1944 are a distracting overcompensation for an otherwise lifeless chain of impersonal betrayals, cold-blooded murders, and unbelievable moping from all involved.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Only the most committed genre fans and academic-minded masochists will want to hang around until the bitter, arthouse-meets-choose-your-own-adventure style ending.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The climax of Godland feels conclusive in ways that the rest of Pálmason’s mystery play does not, making one wish that there was an extra hour or two between its beginning and the very end.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Knock at the Cabin does not disappoint. It’s a movie that reminds us why Shyamalan is one of contemporary cinema’s greatest alchemists and a prime example of a filmmaker at his best and boldest.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Some high-concept set pieces rise above shoddy execution and creative mismanagement, particularly any wire stunts involving helicopters, byplanes, or rocket-powered jet packs.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 60 Simon Abrams
    The retrospective nature of this documentary character study requires some creative liberties, but treating one of your two main characters like a special guest in her own movie suggests that telling a better story was unfortunately the top priority here.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Somehow, The Wandering Earth II never feels tonally unbalanced or narratively convoluted, partly because Gwo and his collaborators keep their movie’s plot focused on feats of action-adventure heroism.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    While the first hour of “New Gods: Yang Jian” is about as attractive as it is surreal, the back half only works if you care about the destinies of its undistinguished protagonists.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: Scarlet Bond mostly lacks the animating unpredictability and sugar-rush energy of its source material.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It takes a moment for the action to start—about 38 minutes—but once it does, this otherwise generic thriller’s flimsy relevance and unusual pacing not only seem more forgivable but maybe even sneakily clever.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Higuchi and Anno not only deliver the genre movie goods but also deftly preserve their title character’s sugary purity. Rather than gigantify what was always juvenile material, Shin Ultraman allows the iconic character to retain his original shape and proportions. You and your dad are gonna love the new Ultraman movie.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Watching The Apology, one gets the sense that Locke and her team got to tell the exact story they wanted to and on their terms. Their drama has unusual integrity since it's (mostly) not about canned answers to complex questions.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    It’s a plodding, vague fantasy about the way things could be that gets interrupted by a rote chase/body count pic.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Before its typically inoffensive and unmemorable finale, Four Samosas inevitably skids into a self-conscious Anderson parody that even the uninitiated will see coming from miles off.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    If you like unabashedly corny teen romances, there’s a fair chance that the sheer too-much-ness of The Quintessential Quintuplets Movie will appeal to you.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 70 Simon Abrams
    Schwarz piles on more than enough damning interview footage to support his and Katz’s case, making Tantura a better-than-average work of docu-agitprop.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s “Avatar” meets “Fantastic Voyage,” and it also looks really good on a big screen thanks to Disney’s many, many talented animators. With their help, “Strange World” breezes through a checklist of formulaic plot points and canned emotional revelations with enough style and sensitivity to make it work.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Francisco’s committed and surprisingly nuanced performance makes it easier to invest in the movie’s otherwise unexplained style of magical realism.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blood Relatives isn’t always a great comedy about vampires, or fathers and daughters, but it is a charming road movie.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Meet Me in the Bathroom is an impressionistic blur, more about what it felt like to be at the head of a scene than the actual scene’s character or identity.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    With Nocebo, Finnegan and his collaborators have put their finger on something dark and disturbing. Too bad it’s never as upsetting as it is suggestive.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    If you’re at all curious about “One Piece,” you might still enjoy One Piece Film Red, since it’s a better-than-average highlight reel for Oda’s ingratiating and vividly realized characters. Just don’t feel bad if you exit the theater feeling confused and a little unfulfilled; this new feature’s more of an oversized sampler platter than a full-sized meal.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The action filmmaking, from interstitial chases to fight choreography, looks good, and so does the monster and its practically-effected victims.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Simon Abrams
    The Loneliest Boy in the World mostly bobs along without incident, never challenging viewers’ assumptions nor giving us much to sink our teeth into.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    While some talking points tend to be belabored and others don’t get unpacked at great enough length, Lynch/Oz still offers movie-lovers a variety of thoughtful and dynamic new ways of seeing Lynch’s work.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The cleverest additions to the “Hellraiser” canon will only be apparent to established fans since the makers of the latest movie awkwardly graft a sometimes-inspired monster movie onto the back of a trauma-focused character study.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    There’s a definite beginning, a doughy middle, and a gaping end to “Project Wolf Hunting,” but they somehow don’t cohere into a feature-length spectacle.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Vesper doesn’t just ask viewers to root for one more hopeless case as she struggles to triumph over adverse living conditions. Instead, it asks us to spend time with a young protagonist who thinks she’s on the verge of a breakthrough and leads us to constantly worry that she might be wrong.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    There’s nothing wrong, in other words, with the idea of setting an all-ages haunted house-style chase movie in a corny bulk retail store. The main thing holding back Spirit Halloween: The Movie is that its young stars never get to convincingly act their age.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 40 Simon Abrams
    Recreated footage of the rovers flying to, landing on, and carefully exploring the red planet tend to be the most engrossing material in White’s scattershot documentary, which too often tries to humanize the rovers’ handlers by playing up their emotions instead of their accomplishments.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    It's not a complicated narrative, possibly because the movie’s designed for younger viewers. But the conception of “Drifting Home” is so stunted that its only memorable thing is its untapped potential.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An average scene in Confess, Fletch features several different kinds of humor, including callbacks, running jokes, physical comedy, and character-driven wordplay, all of which either flatter the individual actors or show off how well they work with their co-stars.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Medieval is a bleak and visually oversaturated allegory about the 15th century revolutionary Czech soldier turned military leader Jan Žižka (Ben Foster). There's blood and chainmail, yes, but it's also a self-serious allegory about duty and faith during miserable times.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 55 Simon Abrams
    Neither the action scenes nor the musical numbers stand out though, and none of the characters or their performers transcend their expected roles.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    The most impressive thing about “Barbarian” is that Cregger keeps developing his twisty plot well after he sets everything up. Messing with viewers seems to be his guiding dramatic principal, from playful camerawork to unpredictable plot twists. Bless ‘im.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Simon Abrams
    Burial has a hard enough core, both in terms of its central premise and its pulpy tropes, that for about 30 minutes, it almost works as a decent B-movie, right before it unceremoniously falls apart.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The best thing that can be said about Who Invited Them is that Birmingham and his game ensemble cast do sometimes exhibit a sense of humor.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The sheer too-much-ness of Alienoid could have easily been wearying, given its many tangents and supporting characters. Thankfully, writer/director Choi Dong-hoon confirms his hitmaker reputation by balancing over-inflated set pieces with disarming screwball comedy and delightful character actor performances.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Yuasa's adaptation of Furukawa’s book is half-thrilling and half-underwhelming.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 65 Simon Abrams
    While this new “Dragon Ball” spinoff may not be all things to all viewers, it’s also a thrilling showcase for Toriyama’s beloved characters.

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