For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 83 Metascore
    • 80 Simon Abrams
    An emotionally generous and expansively detailed romantic fantasy.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Faults is a richly-textured movie that concerns the weird space between thinking you know what you're doing, and actually knowing what you're doing.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Monster Hunt 2 is charming enough on a scene-to-scene basis that its success is worth noting.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    So while not everything works in Black Christmas, the stuff that does is ultimately what matters most.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Last Bullet puts a decisive capper on the previous movies’ action-intensive gearhead-cop saga, though it’s hard to say how much closure one might need from these characters. They’re charming enough thanks to a committed ensemble cast, but nothing about the movie’s by-the-numbers narcotics cops vs. dirty cops story demands further extension.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A few heavy-handed stabs at commentary aside, “Queens of the Dead” gets by with good, flirty cheer.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A charmingly filthy, albeit rather amateurish stab at making a macho action-hero persona out of Moore's stand-up sensibility.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s time in a bottle and a pleasure to soak up.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Woo and Tjahjanto not only share a half-cynical, half-romantic view of violence but also likely some of the same influences. What sets them apart as filmmakers isn’t where or how much they’ve swiped but how well they synthesize their apparent pulp fiction love into something new and cinematic.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Love may not always be enjoyable, but it leaves an abiding mark.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    In many ways, Zhang’s latest is the coldest film that he’s made in a while, though it might also be his most alluring.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a sports melodrama played like a Billy Joel concert, with enough well-honed showmanship and passion to make even its cheesiest qualities seem like an unpretentious celebration of Patton’s everyman.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yamazaki’s style, like his movie’s politics, only looks conservative when compared to his predecessors. He made a good Godzilla movie, if not a great one.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Watching The Apology, one gets the sense that Locke and her team got to tell the exact story they wanted to and on their terms. Their drama has unusual integrity since it's (mostly) not about canned answers to complex questions.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Vesper doesn’t just ask viewers to root for one more hopeless case as she struggles to triumph over adverse living conditions. Instead, it asks us to spend time with a young protagonist who thinks she’s on the verge of a breakthrough and leads us to constantly worry that she might be wrong.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a film noir that is, despite some jittery, Tony Scott-esque action sequences, so cool, that you will leave it begging for a sequel.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Archies celebrates its protagonists’ character-defining youth by letting them be cute, doofy, and mostly self-absorbed.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The sheer too-much-ness of Alienoid could have easily been wearying, given its many tangents and supporting characters. Thankfully, writer/director Choi Dong-hoon confirms his hitmaker reputation by balancing over-inflated set pieces with disarming screwball comedy and delightful character actor performances.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    South Korean horror-mystery hybrid The Wailing crosses that line several times, but somehow remains effectively atmospheric.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    R100 is, consequently, a comedy that tries to alienate you by suggesting that escapism is futile, all things inevitably devolve, and nothing inherently means anything.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s the quasi-gothic scenario that’s amusing here, and it’s as fraught as it is straight-forward. That and a perverse sense of humor puts “Amelia’s Children” over the top, though it’s never quite ha-ha hard enough to be satirical, nor sincere enough to be campy.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, despite its creators’ general fussiness, The Truffle Hunters is good enough, if only because guys like Carlo and Angelo are more charming than they are eccentric.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Jodo’s latest is also way too weird to be hagiographic. It’s indulgent, absurd, frustrating, and more than a little gross. It’s also idiosyncratic and funny enough, and in ways that Jodo’s fans will probably love.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Retrograde, bloated, and formulaic. It's also consistently sincere, energizing, and charming.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The spectacularly dumb, and weirdly entertaining bad-taste thriller Bad Samaritan is the kind of movie that many will assume can only be enjoyed ironically, or just with some sort of emotional detachment.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a comedy that encourages viewers to be impulsive, and pointedly seek love and acceptance outside of "normal" social institutions, especially when it comes to family and romance.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ratnam and his collaborators stick the landing on their gargantuan pot-boiler, and while Krishnamurthy’s world may not look as grand as it seemed, either in the moviemakers’ heads or on the page, it is big enough to get lost in.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s a series of comedic sketches about people who are too self-involved to empathize with each other. It’s also a plaintively blunt wake-up call, and an effective demand for viewers' vigilant sensitivity.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    For those who have understandably not seen Takakura's original film due to international distribution issues: think "The Fugitive," only this time, Tommy Lee Jones' gruff cop is replaced by a more sympathetic hot-shot detective.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 not only has a more involved story, but also features more engaged filmmaking throughout, with more camera setups and visual brio.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The film will only work for you if you expect it not to make sense, and enjoy jokes that go on and on and then suddenly (and repeatedly) jack-knife off a cliff or two.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Loro feels like the work of a more mature artist. Sorrentino knows exactly who his Berlusconi is, and, with the help of Servillo — who delivers a characteristically impressive performance — manages to make the former Prime Minister’s total lack of introspection seem ironically revealing. Ecco Silvio: pathetic, alone, indestructible.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    31
    A surprisingly effective new horror flick.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Dumont's characters' motives are consequently hard to divine, despite convincingly twitchy performances from French actors Fabrice Luchini and Juliette Binoche. So while I do recommend Slack Bay, I must warn you: this is a misanthropic comedy that features cannibalism, weird religious overtones, and a lot of goony pratfalls.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It takes a moment for the action to start—about 38 minutes—but once it does, this otherwise generic thriller’s flimsy relevance and unusual pacing not only seem more forgivable but maybe even sneakily clever.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Cornish's gift for working with child actors is still apparent, as is his knack for dynamic action set pieces. The Kid Who Would Be King is not, in that sense, everything that it could have been. But it is fun where it counts and that's realistically what matters most.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Here, the filmmakers know exactly what kind of movie their audience wants and have a better-than-average plan to deliver it. You say you want more bromantic chemistry, over-the-top action, and flamboyant, logic-defying plot twists? “War 2” delivers all of that.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An average scene in Confess, Fletch features several different kinds of humor, including callbacks, running jokes, physical comedy, and character-driven wordplay, all of which either flatter the individual actors or show off how well they work with their co-stars.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    While most other films sprint through expository dialogue, and bluster their way through action scenes, The Last Witch Hunter is measured enough to make you want to suspend your disbelief.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    There’s no question that Neel’s the key to Salaar’s success, so it’s hard to get too upset for his reminding us with every italicized, bolded, and underlined flourish.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    While the action scenes may be the best reason to watch "Striking Rescue," they're not the only ones. There's almost enough off-kilter energy to keep pace with Jaa's on-screen intensity.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A very good film, but only if you're willing to inevitably submit to its anarchic sensibility.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    I can’t honestly recommend Climate of the Hunter to everybody; it’s not a generic horror movie, but rather a dark arthouse fantasy that brings to mind the films of Ingmar Bergman and Andy Milligan. To say that Reece’s movie is bound to be an acquired taste would be something of an understatement.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Taiwanese horror movie The Sadness is both conceptually exhausting and viscerally upsetting—an ideal summer movie for the third year of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen doesn’t exactly swing for the fences here, but Sakra still lands exactly where its multi-hyphenate star needs it to.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Unlike a lot of recent indie horror movies, An Unquiet Grave doesn’t feel bogged down by the last few decades’ worth of American horror. It’s a spare, dread-filled mood piece whose just-so dialogue, too-tight close-ups, and deceptively subdued pacing all tease out small, but essential details from both of these elusive central characters.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The exceptionally fun martial arts beat-em-up Kickboxer: Retaliation is a very dumb, and very satisfying throwback to a simpler time when American action films were as predictable as they were formulaic.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An irresistibly gory science-fiction melodrama, is B-movie schlock done right.
    • 28 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    What Winchester lacks in originality its creators amply make up for in execution.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Taken in its entirety, Ant-Man and the Wasp may not be the best anything, but, like its perpetually challenged hero, it is plenty good enough.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Harmonium is consistently about mood more than anything else. You sink into the film at first. Then, with each new leisurely introduced plot point, you struggle to regain your sense of calm since, after a while, the film's protagonists are doing the exact same thing.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A sleepy, but pleasantly surprising action-adventure, Ragnarok is the rare Spielberg clone that feels like it was made by people that not only know what they like about Spielberg's films, but are capable of evoking them.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Scafidi’s movie appropriately reflects its director’s neurotic need to show all the different ways you can think about Argento and his art.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Aat some point, every character in Youth falls out of love with the way of seeing the world. That kind of anti-epiphany is major—not on a universal, but rather a personal scale.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As gory as it is corrosively cynical, a supernatural mood piece that's equally influenced by the arthouse horror movies of David Lynch and Roman Polanski, and the grindhouse-ready Satanic Panic films of the '70s, like "To the Devil a Daughter," and "The Devil Rides out."
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Padmaavat is a rare work of pop art that is both powerful and repugnant.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ride Your Wave moves without a great sense of urgency, but only because Hinako’s emotional turmoil isn’t a great conflict or a tragedy. It is, however, as real as the private heartaches that we self-consciously wear on our sleeves.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's an anti-romantic biography about a great artist, one whose central themes are basic, but whose energy and execution is irresistible.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching “Leo,” it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from “Leo,” it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Watching Douglas behave like a narcissistic scumbag is an absolute pleasure, one in which viewers of action-adventure Beyond the Reach can happily indulge.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's an unsettling, and sometimes high-concept doodle, but it's awfully hard to resist a film that marries Atomic Age paranoia and optimism with Kurosawa's signature post-modern, atmosphere-intensive style.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie is so consistently moody, and so focused on driving you towards a gut-punch finale, that even valid complaints seem negligible in retrospect.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Tokyo Tribe, an adaptation of a popular Japanese manga, is bound to charm viewers — both the uninitiated and the diehard fans of director Sion Sono ("Why Don't You Play in Hell," "Love Exposure") — with its boundless energy ... for a while, anyway.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Beasts may not be realistic, but it is genuinely eerie.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The funniest thing about “Daaaaalí!” is how often Dupieux succeeds at tricking you into thinking that he’s about to zig when he’s clearly ready to zag. It’s not a sophisticated bit, but Dupieux’s commitment to illogical anti-humor remains pretty disarming.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    So if you're wondering if you should see He Never Died or not, consider how much time you want to spend in Rollins's company. He proves himself to be as charming as a younger Arnold Schwarzenegger, but his appeal is just as limited.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Green Inferno is not exactly a feel-good film, but it gets a very particular job done.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More about ambience than narrative progress, so if you don't like these kinds of characters (ie: hippy-dippy aesthetes), the film will drive you up a wall.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Deliver Us stands out because its creators have struck the ideal balance of lull-inducing silences to daft genre trope punctuation. It doesn’t make much sense, or flow smoothly from one scene to the next. But boy, Deliver Us sure does what it does.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This movie's makers haven't met a formula cliché that they don't like.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Here, finally, is the movie that you likely wanted to see in the first place, replete with fantastic beasts, computer-generated spells, and other supernatural attractions. If you embrace this superior sequel for what it is, you’ll find a lot to like in “Creation of the Gods II: Demon Force.”
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    1BR
    Everything in 1BR is over-exposed, often literally thanks to the movie’s basic camera set-ups and general emphasis on naturally and/or harshly front-lit close-ups, or medium shots of brown stucco walls.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Studio 4°C’s sumptuous animation and sound design still make “All You Need is Kill” a vivid and worthwhile do-over.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    There's so much detail and such a clear sense of dramatic proportion that it almost doesn't matter that the movie doesn't resolve itself traditionally or with a full stop. You can still get a clear sense of how time moves for the workers in Zhili in "Youth (Homecoming)" without necessarily knowing what comes next.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    What Taylor and his game cast, led by Selma Blair and Nicolas Cage, do get right will leave you excited, and eager for more.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Without Charlize Theron, the spy adventure Atomic Blonde would only be clever. She makes it insightful. The actress gives emotional depth to the highly mannered behavior of the film’s heroine.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Unbound by physics or any sense of psychological realism, “Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In” is also probably the best comic book adaptation you’ll see this year, featuring a murderer’s row of Hong Kong stars like Louis Koo, Aaron Kwok and Sammo Hung, and featuring the sort of intricate maximalist production design that puts most other blockbusters to shame.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    "Bird on a Wire" is a time capsule of a specific period in Cohen's career. But it also neatly illustrates the singer's personality in an accessible and compelling way. It's that rare concert doc that isn't for established fans only.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Just watch 11 Minutes like you're channel-surfing, only you don't have the remote and the roar of static between stations is steadily growing louder as the channels switch back-and-forth, faster and faster.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As It Is in Heaven ultimately doesn't go anywhere unexpected, but it does foster a potent, unexpected bond between its subjects and its audience.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie’s half-hearted jokes, on frustrated women artists and their blind male collaborators, tend to be one-note and thankfully besides the point. But if you adjust your expectations, you’re more likely to accept Lux Aeterna as a vigorously realized doodle.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Smoking Causes Coughing works because Dupieux’s already been here and done similar things before. This is just a superior collection of shaggy dog jokes.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    King Car may leave viewers wondering about a number of basic questions (mostly related to the plot), but it also often feels open and precise enough to work on its own terms.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The film may be cinematic comfort food, but its creators do earn our trust and nail all the essential beats they need to along the way.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen continues charging ahead in “The Prosecutor,” which frequently goes hard enough to fly through its corniest lulls.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching Leo, it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from Leo, it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rarely goes so far over the top that it loses you completely. It is, to put it mildly, not subtle. But if you watch it expecting to see a dumb idea executed with appreciable skill, you'll have a blast.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The new French voodoo/gothic drama Zombi Child is mostly satisfying, but also a little frustrating because of its creators’ walking-on-shells sensitivity.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Fighter never strays far from the path that other movies like it have previously charted, but it still delivers most of what it promises.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Witching and Bitching is accordingly overlong, and conceptually thin. But like most of de la Iglesia's films, it's also freakishly energetic, and often hysterical.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Surrender accomplishes a lot with a sketch-sized story and matching compositional agility and precision. It’s short (less than 90 minutes!) and sweet and the best kind of upsetting.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    An uneven but satisfying hostage crisis thriller that is also a perfect example of the type of late-period films martial arts star Jackie Chan has decided to make after entering middle age.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Somehow, The Wandering Earth II never feels tonally unbalanced or narratively convoluted, partly because Gwo and his collaborators keep their movie’s plot focused on feats of action-adventure heroism.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The bittersweet Korean drama Aloners works best when it’s a character study about an isolated thirtysomething’s behavior instead of whatever her creators think should be done about it.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Geoghegan and Hendrix have the right instincts, which goes a long way, given that their vision is slightly limited by their budget. I didn't just fall for this type of film: I also admire its creators' knack for conveying what they like most about their characters through pulpy dialogue, impressive shot choices, and satisfyingly gory set pieces.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Sappy, slow, and mostly effective.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's uneven, and more than a little mystifying, but Rigor Mortis is also a bittersweet coda to a deliriously silly series of films.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rabbit Trap, a supernatural drama about a young couple haunted by a creepy child, revels in the tropes and tics of a few decades’ worth of British folk horror.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Khufiya isn’t a deconstruction of the spy thriller, but it does blatantly re-orient viewers to what’s often missing or downplayed in stories about spies, many of whom are presented as solitary little wheels who work for big organizations that could stop needing them at a moment’s notice.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It's a confrontational fever dream film told from constantly shifting perspectives, and a chilly, dizzying trip into a genre defined by violently conflicting emotions.

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