Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
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40% higher than the average critic
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6% same as the average critic
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54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 390 out of 854
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Mixed: 239 out of 854
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Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
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- Simon Abrams
While Thrash resembles a general-audience survival horror drama, its forgettable protagonists also frequently stop to reassure viewers—mostly through profanity-laced dialogue and occasional bursts of gore—that it’s okay to scoff at whatever they’re looking at.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Apr 10, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
There may be nothing new about America Underdog, but it’s still good enough, as far as non-perishable comfort food goes.- TheWrap
- Posted Dec 17, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
The movie version of The Reason I Jump does not, in other words, successfully illustrate what its title promises, but rather generalizes about a sensitive topic to the point of inadvertently making it seem more unapproachable.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 8, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
Informative but tedious talking-head doc Our Man in Tehran is for anyone who watched Argo and then wished to hear a ditzy, history-obsessed uncle ramble about the real-life political stakes of the 1979 Iranian hostage crisis.- Village Voice
- Posted May 13, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Infini doesn't go anywhere that superior science fiction films haven't already, but for a while, it's exciting enough to feel brand-new.- Village Voice
- Posted May 6, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
It’s a character-driven drama populated by sketchy characters who are mostly compelling thanks to the movie’s strong ensemble cast and Haugerud’s typically sensitive direction. So unfortunately, the suggestive power of Johanne’s journey fades as the movie slowly heads to its inconclusive finale.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 12, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
I dislike much of Mirai because most of the film's Kun-centric scenes (which take up 90% of the movie) are split between the character's un-imaginative daydreams and his full-blast fits.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 30, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
A typical Hong character performs the same actions over and over again, with minor, but noticeably different results.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 17, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Zlotowski’s stylized depiction of Rachel’s life is overly fastidious. Many creative decisions, from the score to the camera blocking, took me out of the movie. Instead of a complex character processing involved, compound emotions, I saw a talented filmmaker lightly touch upon a range of emotions while also studiously avoiding dramatic clichés and stereotypes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 21, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
The Great Buddha+ is one of those movies that's much more rewarding to think about than it is to watch.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 26, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
While zombie drama Maggie seems intended as a showcase for Arnold Schwarzenegger's acting range, the star's performance is smothered by the film's deeply affected style.- Village Voice
- Posted May 5, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
In theory, that sort of self-victimization could be funny; in this reality, not so much.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 10, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
The maddeningly unfocused Israeli documentary West of the Jordan River doesn’t reveal anything insightful about Gaza settlers’ reasons for either supporting or rejecting a two-state solution.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 25, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
The East is essentially divided into two halves, and neither is more illuminating than the other.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 13, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
Pathological behavior seems to be the main subject of the bitter Ukrainian satire Donbass, an unpleasant, but as-advertised slice of life drama set in the title region, an embattled territory in Eastern Ukraine.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 8, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Fistful of Vengeance is a movie in duration only; it’s pretty slapdash in terms of its execution, even during its glossy-looking action set pieces.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 18, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Too bad that Ardor's arrhythmic editing and glacial pacing make it impossible to get lost in its jungles — or to invest in its pseudo-mystical ambiance.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
The Face of an Angel may not be like any other whodunit you've seen, but it's also only superficially smarter than the genre it defines itself against.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 16, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Watching La Flor is like being on the last legs of a road trip with a group of people you’ve grown increasingly alienated from. Look at the happy artists, they’re having fun playing with themselves; good for them, can I go home now?- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 2, 2019
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- Simon Abrams
Mud is as unmoving as it is because it doesn’t aspire to be anything other than a competent anti-fairy tale in which the paint-by-number morals are enforced by equally obvious main protagonists.- The Playlist
- Posted Feb 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
An exhausting, and mostly frustrating display of emotional scab-picking.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 5, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Even the most open-minded viewers may have difficulty relating to the two lead protagonists in Border, a cynical Swedish romantic-fantasy that follows estranged border patrolwoman Tina (Eva Melander) and her unconvincing attraction to Byronic stranger Vore (Eero Milonoff).- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 26, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
This isn’t a story, but an evocative collection of asked-and-answered prompts. You buy a ticket to Pacifiction and then you react, until the nudging stops.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 17, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
A few compelling emotions and themes are suggested but rarely well expressed in Nimona, a sometimes cute but mostly hyper and overextended animated sci-fi fantasy.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 30, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Carpignano’s impressionistic plot and pseudo-naturalistic style also tends to boil down human emotions so as to only suggest rather than reveal complexity. The limiting style and characterizations in A Chiara are only so thoughtful.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 27, 2022
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- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 21, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
I often wished there was more to Hatching than just a few weak digs at bad mothers who are a little too online. Maybe you have to be Finnish to see Hatching as a blistering and culturally specific satire. Or maybe there’s just not much to get about the movie.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 29, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, much of Cryptozoo feels like an earnest, flashy genre exercise that’s more eccentric than thoughtful. It looks great on paper, but not so much on a screen.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 20, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
The film's retro, John Carpenter-esque synthesizer score, composed by Jeff Grace, further pushes viewers away.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 23, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
This movie’s not frustrating because it’s blunt or vicious, but because its creators are only so interested in a world condemning Agnes to a dire fate. Her actions may ultimately be shocking, but her story is anything but.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 28, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
That opening scene is also, in retrospect, somewhat depressing for the way that it conflates a glib fatalism with an unbelievable sort of turn-the-other-cheek optimism ("If they hurt others, it's because they hurt, too,” as Benedicta says in one scene).- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 30, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Francisco’s committed and surprisingly nuanced performance makes it easier to invest in the movie’s otherwise unexplained style of magical realism.- TheWrap
- Posted Nov 23, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
James Murphy never says that his music will sound different after LCD Soundsystem disbands, so why fearfully anticipate a change that we don't even know is coming?- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jul 22, 2012
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- Simon Abrams
Liang and Zhang’s young heroes would be far more universal if they were just credibly hormonal.- Village Voice
- Posted Apr 5, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Farrier doesn’t really take us to any dark corners of Organ’s life that he can’t talk his way out of, but Mister Organ does capture the miasmic anxiety that surrounds his mysterious subject.- TheWrap
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- Simon Abrams
Mistaken for Strangers doesn't reveal anything about Tom but his own insecurity.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 25, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
A puzzle movie with too many unnecessary pieces and not enough essential ones, but it's superior to its predecessor in a few basic ways.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 13, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
With the uninspired pity party comedy The Day After, self-lacerating Korean dramatist Sang-soo Hong continues a trend towards un-productive self-loathing that began last year with the half-empty "On the Beach At Night Alone" and continued with the half-full "Claire's Camera."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 11, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Volf’s refusal to address key choices that Callas made to shape her own career and fight her insecurities suggests that he’d prefer to imagine Callas as a victim of fate — and bronchitis, fame, Onassis, etc. — instead of a strong-willed but human prima donna.- L.A. Weekly
- Posted Nov 1, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Like the anime series, Jujutsu Kaisen 0 sometimes feels too much like a Cliffs Notes adaptation, despite also featuring more interaction between the supporting characters and the lead protagonist than the original manga.- TheWrap
- Posted Mar 13, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Writer/director Tomer Heymann's uneven doc Mr. Gaga offers a character study of Israeli dance choreographer Ohad Naharin, but the scope and power of Naharin's art only becomes clear when the dancers illustrate rather than comment on his distinctively twitchy, animalistic "gaga" style of movement.- Village Voice
- Posted Feb 1, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
If only Baker and the gang had fleshed out horny hero Pikelet’s journey with the same earthy details that make Pikelet and Loonie’s friendship seem real enough to be worth mourning.- Village Voice
- Posted May 31, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Neville briefly showcases individual musicians but never sticks with them long enough to highlight their skills.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 8, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Some people might enjoy a solitary clip from a Henry Rollins interview, as well as occasional anecdotes from “Rescue Dawn” star Christian Bale (another Batman!). Others might wonder why we’re watching a chaotic docu-salute to Herzog when we could be watching a Herzog movie instead.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 4, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Established “My Hero Academia” fans will probably enjoy Class 1-A’s typically endearing group dynamic, even if none of the jokes in the movie are that great. And their big fight with Nine is genuinely well-staged and climactic, thanks to some impressive computer graphics and director Kenji Nagasaki’s thoughtful staging and choreography.- TheWrap
- Posted Feb 26, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Post Tenebras Lux is certainly unique, but Reygadas is often intensely more interested in provoking his audience than actually fleshing out his heady ideas.- The Playlist
- Posted Apr 12, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
You can fully enjoy Belladonna of Sadness if you either overlook or participate in the objectification of a gorgeous victim.- Village Voice
- Posted May 5, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
A lot of substantial or just different material might have enriched this documentary’s tidy fall-and-rise story.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 1, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Vonnegut’s family members and biographers provide the most intriguing material in Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time, but their interviews are too brief to enhance viewers’ appreciation of his work.- TheWrap
- Posted Nov 18, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
[Shirai] indulges his subjects' lack of introspection and focuses on the ephemeral beauty of the brewery's centuries-old sake-making method.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 17, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
You know you're in trouble with a film when you're so bored by it that you wind up asking why things seem so implausible.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 16, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
The filmmakers over-extend themselves to solicit empathy for their doomed protagonists. Youth is so unbearably nice that I eventually wished it were remade by misanthropes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 15, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Watching Campbell over her shoulder or in a mirror is frustrating because it consistently limits our view of her character. Porterfield's people can't give anything away beyond their immediate aggression, frustration, and sadness. But it's hard to appreciate an intentionally blurry portrait of a family that's so impressionistic that all you can see of its already-withdrawn characters are their shadows.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 4, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
If you’re at all curious about “One Piece,” you might still enjoy One Piece Film Red, since it’s a better-than-average highlight reel for Oda’s ingratiating and vividly realized characters. Just don’t feel bad if you exit the theater feeling confused and a little unfulfilled; this new feature’s more of an oversized sampler platter than a full-sized meal.- TheWrap
- Posted Nov 4, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
The retrospective nature of this documentary character study requires some creative liberties, but treating one of your two main characters like a special guest in her own movie suggests that telling a better story was unfortunately the top priority here.- TheWrap
- Posted Jan 28, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Most of the gags in this pandering spoof are about their own schematic nature — they’re jokes about how you’re smarter than the jokes.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 1, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Song's performance makes me wish the rest of A Taxi Driver was as thoughtful.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 11, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
There’s some appreciable serenity and a lot of personal grief on display in Out Stealing Horses, but it’s only visible in fits and starts.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 7, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Villain is the kind of stiflingly reverent genre picture that is so beholden to its main characters’ pity-me worldview that its predictably downbeat ending feels like the kind of hero worship that you often find in either a cloying biopic or a hidebound true crime adaptation.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 22, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, The Deer King fatally (and repeatedly) stalls as its plot starts winding down and its creators lunge for a character-driven moral to a symbolically freighted parable.- TheWrap
- Posted Jul 14, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Too bad writer-director Leena Yadav only infrequently uses innuendo-driven sex talk to break up a monotonous series of confrontations between misogynistic alpha males and their unhappy wives.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 16, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
While Les eventually becomes more tolerable, LaBute's cloying dialogue makes it impossible to appreciate what turns out to be a bracingly pragmatic sense of optimism.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 3, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
In spite of its conspicuously crude sense of humor, Delhi Belly is much more family-minded and innocent than it would like its young target audience to believe.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Jun 29, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, The Public Image is Rotten often feels like an illustrated airing of grievances that also happens to be an in-their-words history of Lydon's best band.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 14, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
American Made may be superficially a condemnation of the hypocritical American impulse to take drug suppliers' money with one hand and chastise users with the other. But it's mostly a sensational, sub-"Wolf of Wall Street"-style true crime story that attempts to seduce you, then abandon you.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 28, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
The scattershot new media satire Vengeance might have been merely a toothless provocation replete with both-sides false equivalences were it not so well-scripted and well-directed on a scene-to-scene basis.- TheWrap
- Posted Jun 13, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Unexpected isn't about, but rather a product of, class-based condescension in America.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 21, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Canadian filmmaker Denis Côté holds up a shallow mirror to the world of bodybuilding in the underwhelming experimental documentary A Skin So Soft.- Village Voice
- Posted Jul 5, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Recreated footage of the rovers flying to, landing on, and carefully exploring the red planet tend to be the most engrossing material in White’s scattershot documentary, which too often tries to humanize the rovers’ handlers by playing up their emotions instead of their accomplishments.- TheWrap
- Posted Sep 17, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Any movie is improved at least 10 percent by the presence of Scottish actor Brian Cox, even mushy sports drama Believe.- Village Voice
- Posted Sep 9, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Derrickson and Cargill successfully tailor their focused and mostly compelling narrative to a Steven Spielberg/Amblin Entertainment–esque bit of Stephen King–sploitation.- TheWrap
- Posted Jun 20, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
The brutality of Tyrannosaur isn't so over the top as to make director Paddy Considine's sympathy for his flawed characters look like a sham. But it does frequently bring his film's seesawing exploration of blue-collar existence to the brink of collapse.- Slant Magazine
- Posted Nov 13, 2011
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- Simon Abrams
Assassination is a blast whenever the director doesn't take his melodramatic plot too seriously.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Director Joshua Erkman shows promise throughout “A Desert,” his first feature, but his movie’s unyielding scenario, co-written with Bossi Baker, makes it hard to want to hang around while thinly drawn characters vaguely establish the movie’s themes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 2, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
What’s mostly lacking is a matter of character-enhancing detail, the kind that would better integrate the movie’s high-concept thrills with its heartstring-tugging melodrama. Soapy’s not bad, but “This is Not a Test” lacks the sensationalism or sensitivity to make it more than a wan misfire.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 20, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
There's a lot of chutzpah on display throughout the film, even during essentially soggy, dialogue-intensive sequences, which are broken up by disorienting flashbacks. But Jung's biggest failing is his inability to make Sook-hee a heroine worth caring about.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 25, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Die-hard X Japan fans may enjoy seeing Yoshiki talk about his past, but everyone else will leave We Are X wondering who X Japan is.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 2, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Okazaki gets close to, but never sheds enough light on, Mifune's elusive personality.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 23, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Bloodthirsty isn’t as deep or dark as it needs to be, and that’s way more frustrating than its general lack of werewolves.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 23, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
Cocker's magnetic persona is a huge part of Pulp's identity, but it's not the band's greatest legacy. So don't be surprised when Cocker's gas-leak hiss of a voice is drowned out by smoke machine cannons, and fails to swell until it bursts at the end of "Common People."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 20, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
A strong ensemble cast, led by Sterling K. Brown and Regina Hall, does a lot of emotional heavy lifting in the otherwise lightweight mockumentary Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul.- TheWrap
- Posted Jan 26, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
By inexpertly filtering her art through her travails, Wood and Altunaga reimagine Parra's suicide as an explicable conclusion to her turbulent life.- Village Voice
- Posted Mar 26, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Arthouse horror flick The Eyes of My Mother actively alienates viewers by presenting episodes in a woman's life from a post-human, God-like perspective. Sometimes. Usually. Probably?- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 2, 2016
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- Simon Abrams
Pattinson and Wasikowska deserve better material than the Zellners’ head-scratchingly lazy jokes.- Village Voice
- Posted Jun 21, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
The Limehouse Golem only reflects its creators' lack of imagination. Medina and Goldman invest so much time in (poorly) misleading audiences that they say nothing memorable about the past, or why it matters to today's audience.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 8, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
I’d have an easier time accepting the trite, asked-and-answered conclusions that director Muye Wen and co-writers Jianu Han and Wei Zhong lead viewers to if they were more adept at tugging at viewers’ heart-strings.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 9, 2019
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- Simon Abrams
An arty tribute to violent, sensuous, over-the-top Euro-trash pulp fiction.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 31, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
A crashing disappointment, even if you haven't seen director Masaaki Yuasa's relatively inspired and completely unpredictable 2004 anti-coming-of-age fantasy "Mind Game."- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 11, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Coogan and Rudd's generally charming performances both give weight to their otherwise wisp-thin characters, but their swishy mannerisms also speak to the superficial nature of Fleming's presentation of Erasmus and Paul.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 29, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out. If you like B-movies made with a budget and are specifically looking for an undemanding time, “Abigail” might be for you. “Abigail” might also disappoint you, especially if you’re hoping for more than what’s advertised.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 7, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Paley's segment proves that The Prophet is more of a missed opportunity than an ambitious folly.- Village Voice
- Posted Aug 4, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Neophyte writer/director Christopher Papakaliatis eventually shows an affinity for filming two people in love, but his actors often lack the chemistry to make us believe that their bond transcends all socioeconomic boundaries.- Village Voice
- Posted Jan 11, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
The director's gifted collaborators sometimes perk up this listless parable, but never enough to sell its second-hand fatalism.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 2, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
The best thing I can say about Daniel Isn’t Real is that it’s a promising early feature made by young artists who haven’t yet worked out how to express and/or synthesize what they like about their favorite artists and their work. It’s all style and very little substance.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 6, 2019
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- Simon Abrams
The camera loves Channing Tatum, and that makes up for a lot in Dog, a corny road movie that mostly panders to fans of Tatum and/or dogs, as well as any moviegoer who still thinks that making a big show of supporting the troops (any troops) makes them more human than, uh, most everyone else.- TheWrap
- Posted Feb 17, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
Hokey and unconvincing, “Tetris” skims the surface of a genuinely curious “true story” thriller, which too often plays out like a Disney-ified version of “The Social Network.”- TheWrap
- Posted Mar 15, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Shooting the Mafia is, if nothing else, a decent introduction to Battaglia’s work, even if the rest of Loginotto’s primer doesn’t tell us much about who Battaglia is, or how to appreciate what she does.- TheWrap
- Posted Nov 22, 2019
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- Simon Abrams
Both an overstimulated multimedia lecture and an anxiety-stoking conspiracy thriller, “The Grab” urges viewers to follow the money, look at the big picture, and so on.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 14, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
The film is, in that sense, the ultimate fan film since it monotonously aggregates previously existing scifi/fantasy tropes. Rejoice, Gen X viewers, for now you can uncritically enjoy your childhood's junk food culture just because you're looking at the past through the rose-colored lenses of the future.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 28, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
There’s a significant difference in quality between the mediocre scenario (and dialogue) and thrilling production design (and direction) in White Snake.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 27, 2019
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