Cody Clark

A movie interesting enough in its conception to appeal to adults winds up being best suited to preadolescent sensibilities.

The movie is more or less competent for being what it is. Of course, I could say the same of most brick walls -- but I'd hardly recommend that you pay eight bucks to sit in front of one for two hours.

Whenever Voight steps to the forefront, A Dog of Flanders is poochy-keen; alas, the rest of the time it's doggedly dull.

There's a lot of satisfaction in seeing two stars given this much time and space to examine a complex relationship.

Plenty of the tasteless gags don't fly, and for every celebrity cameo that works (a hilariously heavenly Reese Witherspoon), there are two or three that crash and burn.

Fuhgeddaboutit.

So wretched that it practically defies description.

Once the action starts to kick in, Megiddo morphs, minute by minute and scene by scene, into a Mystery Science Theater smorgasbord.

An early scene inside a theater seems intended to wink at Sin's critics: "Disgusting! Cheap melodrama," a lady sniffs during intermission. It's a neatly reflexive acknowledgement of what we ourselves are watching, but even at that, our filmmaker is praising himself too extravagantly by half.

Swordfish is exactly the kind of nominally high-octane actioner that breeds legions of apologists who will encourage you to "check your brain at the door" before seeing it.

Whatever the amount on Roth's paycheck was, it's the only truly charmed sum Lucky Numbers has to offer.

None, repeat, none of this is funny.

Oh-so-tiresomely familiar.

Whenever the movie's not in the midst of a cinematic spoof it loses considerable steam.

As romantic comedies go, this is definitely not one you'd take to the altar, but you might enjoy having a cup of coffee with it.

It's a yabba-dabba-delight.

Quite handsomely produced, and there's a definite swashbuckling verve to it. Most of the characters have been contemporized, but the actors are engaging.

Dracula 2000 is a stake in the heart.

Beautiful it ain't, but it is kind of cute.

If you can overlook its condescending wholesomeness and static, visually drab, endlessly repetitious animation, then you have a more forgiving soul than I do.

The satisfaction of watching it essentially boils down to seeing whether or not Reeves can pull it off.

Hark! A Christian thriller about the Last Days that doesn't (totally) suck. That's got to be a sign of the times.

Whenever we're not at the ballpark, the film falls back on teenage relationship clichés. That's most of what's wrong with it, actually.

Thinking (logically or otherwise) about this movie is a waste of your brain cells.

A full-throated shout-out to the lowest common denominator.

None of the movie's abundant humor is better than faintly amusing.

Because so little of what occurs on-screen either engages or entertains, there's ample time for the boiler of your self-respect to build up quite a head of indignation at the forfeiture of your time, money, and (exceedingly minimal) cerebral exertion.

If Company Man were a wreck on the interstate, it would involve multiple cars and at least one jackknifed tanker truck, and traffic would be backed up for miles as passing motorists slow to gawk.