Ironside (2013)

An atrociously clunky [revival] that keeps only the rough outline--a wounded detective confined to a wheelchair--while jettisoning whatever wit and intelligence the original possessed makes no sense at all.

[Ironside's] handicap has nothing to do with a wheelchair but with a preposterous attitude that's in your face and laughably over-the-top. When the show isn't being a thuddingly ordinary procedural, it's mawkish, wasting The Killing's Brent Sexton as Ironside's shattered partner--yes, an emotional cripple.

All this Ironside does is talk tough and spout exposition endlessly. Yak, yak, yak. There's more talking and less action in Ironside than there is in The Newsroom. Oh, and when there is action, it's just ridiculous.

Ironside is an exercise in cynicism, a safety-first raid on the vaults with not a shred of respect for either the its prospective audience.

Blair Underwood makes the title character an unpleasant combination of macho and brusque. That’s how you get people to go looking for something else to watch.... As independent as this new Ironside is, thanks to the plodding writing here, he is being defined by his disability, the exact opposite of what someone in his condition would want.

While it’s better than getting stung by a bee, I’d rather watch fingernails dry.

It is a dank and ugly affair, with Underwood playing a dour, Nietzschean superhero who is encumbered neither by his paralyzed legs (rendered useless by a criminal’s bullet) nor petit bourgeois considerations of law and morality.