If you switch off the appalling speech, turn on the subtitles and switch on your brain, then we are confident you’ll enjoy uncovering the dark mystery that lies within the walls of the Black Mirror.

A game that captures you with its atmosphere, makes you sit on a towel to prevent having to clean the chair after playing. But it is also a little short lived - there’s no multiplayer support, and you eventually stop jumping at the well timed monster attacks.

A good, solid buy for new strategists but veteran generals will struggle to find long-term entertainment.

So while Ubisoft's dedication to bring its best-loved franchises to the PS2 should be good news, this time the developer hasn't got it quite right, and if you want some rooting-tooting tactical shooting on your PlayStation 2, we recommend you go for the latest iteration of Ubi's other uber-brand, "Ghost Recon," instead of this.

Carve’s myriad of flaws and shortcomings ultimate conspire against it and ultimately, most gamers will find their hard earned cash is better off being put to something better (even if it is full price) than simply getting this because it’s cheap.

While it’s nothing spectacular and it won’t last you forever, it’s a far more appetising than picking up one of the older games in the series up on budget.

If you find yourself tempted just to try out The Cat in the Hat, even just on rental, and you’re legally old enough to be able to watch a movie with either sexual references or sexual swear words, then we’d suggest you spend your cash on something a lot more productive, such as therapy or films with sexual references or swear words. Either way, you’ll end up having just as much fun as any child will with this.

Juiced may play well enough compared to SRS or Need for Speed Underground and its sequel, but neither the handling or the circuits can touch Forza, Rallisport 2 or PGR2 for sheer playability.

A vastly entertaining, if flawed, port of a modern day classic.

Sure, there are plenty of different touches on the gameplay. But how well-realised are they?

If you’ve played "Brothers in Arms" you will no doubt find Full Spectrum Warrior a less refined, more plodding title.

We’d love to see a sequel with a beefed up handling engine, some damage models and online play, but as it stands, Enthusia is only recommendable to the more hardcore Japophiles with a penchant for motoring action.

The sheer carnage you're able to unleash can verge on the glorious, and the copious amounts of vehicles available in some sections certainly boosts variety. But the only thing we can really recommend Conker: Live & Reloaded for is it's single player mode.

A game that fails to build on what has gone before, yet is still unashamedly enjoyable at its core. It's hard to be too angry at that.

There’s nothing so wrong with Empire Earth II as to show it up for being the rather unexciting and decidedly average game it should be.

It's more Jerry Bruckheimer than it is Tom Clancy, but in a subgenre that's become notorious for being a tad too clinical, that's probably not a bad thing.

While it’s simple and easy to get into, Shadowbane seriously lacks the depth and long term appeal of titles like "EverQuest" and "Star Wars Galaxies."

Be it gold teeth, feathers or whatever, the same worn-out old gameplay devices are trotted out one after another – there’s nothing in Tak we haven’t seen many times before and, in the likes of Rayman, Banjo-Kazooie and Mario, done much better.

Sure, it’s cheap and cheerful, but considering the talent behind the port we can’t help but feel let down.

The main drawback with Crime Scene Investigation: Dark Motives is the impossibility to make mistakes. Try to obtain a mould of a footprint by using the wrong substance gains you a curt, “No, use something else”, or words to that manner.

Malice’s shunning of virtually anything complicated leaves a game that will allow easy access for non-gamers looking for something that’s easy going, artistically charming and amusing in a smutty, simplistic way – and at half the price of a regular release, is probably as low risk as it gets.

It looks poor, it feels unfinished and there’s almost a sarcastic attitude towards its ridiculous limitations.

The simple fact is that there's nothing new here, and anything that is here is done badly.

Ultimately, despite being the solid and enjoyable game that Driv3r once promised to be, it’s buried far too deep under all the shite to rescue the game from being anything more than just a gaming folly.

Look at this game as a collection of linear puzzles as opposed to the poorly constructed and under-evolved adventure-type creature it is, and you may be able to glean a little entertainment in the wake of titles like In Memoriam. If you love the genre. Maybe.

Fans of the original Fallout games are clearly not going to enjoy this bastardisation of their favourite game, and those who enjoyed the "Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance" titles will find Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel to be inferior to that franchise.

Yet another crap Army Men game, only about as good as all of its many predecessors put together. It's quite ugly, hard to control and really easy: it's like your first girlfriend. You'll have fun with it for a couple of hours but after a day or so you'll change your phone number and hope it doesn't go psycho.

If you’re the sort of gamer who’s obsessed with statistical accuracy in your sports sims and can live with the uncanny feeling of déjà vu, Moto GP 4 proves to be a run of the mill arcade racer that will give you the most up-to-date bike game on the market, however bland it is.

The fusion of many games into one is uninspired and lazy, which is all the more depressing when you consider the basic frame of the game is a solid one.

Has neither the dexterity of "Outrun 2," nor the thrill of "Burnout 3." It does little to either further the genre or master a particular element, yet to a degree this is a title that can be enjoyed in short spurts.

Yet again, it is the inability of Tak 2: The Staff of Dreams to deal with 3D and learn from what has gone before that will leave the majority of gamers unenthused. There is nothing new to be learned here and no moments that are particularly original or unique.

It’s certainly good for wiping away memories of the God awful movie, that’s for sure.

If you’re looking for the next big thing that uses Sony’s diminutive webcam as its principle control means, this definitely isn’t it.

A frustrating and deeply flawed experience from start to finish.

But this overbearing sense of familiarity is what dogs Cold Fear down into the lower echelons of the genre – it just doesn't do enough to further survival horror in any way at all. In fact most of the time it just feels like a step back.

The simplicity ultimately ends the enjoyment prematurely. It only takes a few hours for the combat to grate, and as it’s the only thing you do, it’s the worst thing for an Action RPG to end up doing.

Far too ambitious and the multitudes of bugs make playing a hugely intricate strategy game a trial.

Not once did we raise a smile during the experience: it just isn’t funny. In the slightest. The puzzles within the game are also unlikely to raise a smile, due to the irrational way they are designed.

Rest assured that this is no "March! Off-World Recon," but it’s not quite as good as the pathetic "Medal of Honor: Rising Sun." In a year that has seen the release of the wonderful and technologically gifted "Far Cry," it’s inexcusable of CDV for even contemplating letting Breed out of development hell.

The frame-rate problems, aiming issues and short lifespan of the game, all conspire to ruin what could have been a reasonably fun blaster. Serious Sam Advance is yet another argument that modern first-person shooters have no place on the Game Boy Advance.

Don’t play this. And if you must go near it, make it only in the spirit of exploring just how wrong a game can be.

Midnight Nowhere is offensive, crude, disgusting, sick, foul, and stock full of jokes about necrophilia.

Sadly, this by-product of the world’s current obsession with illegal racing, ugly street cars being given garish makeovers by plebeians and all things neon or blacked out can do little to impact upon the success of other racers.

Had Sega stuck to its rumoured plan of releasing this on the Dreamcast five years ago, we'd probably have given it a more favourable write up.

It's clear that the game is aimed at a younger audience, but this is no excuse for repetitive levels, broken controls, lazy design and releasing a game that's so frustrating, it'll make you turn off the console in disgust.