CAR 54, WHERE ARE YOU? adds nothing to the police comedy genre that another POLICE ACADEMY couldn't provide.

This amateurish comedy features some amazing sequences shot in Moscow. But everything else about it is second rate.

Douglas grins and grimaces through his role as the ultimate defender of beautiful Fawcett, and it's all pretty dreadful.

The story's broad strokes are painfully clichéd and its details make no sense at all.

Entirely too convoluted for kids and implausible even by the standards set by the original concept.

Too lazy to play your own d--- video game? Lucky for you there's horror director-for-hire Uwe Boll, who's making a career out of adapting successful Atari and Sega games into tedious popcorn fare that's the ultimate in cinematic passivity.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes employs calculatedly bad acting, ridiculous special effects, and inane dialog. Though it succeeded to some degree in achieving its goal, it's a thoroughly dull, unfunny effort.

The musical number that runs during the closing credits funnier than anything that precedes it, which isn't saying much.

The lighting and makeup are exceptionally harsh; all the women look shockingly rough beneath their garish makeup.

Formulaic but performed with some verve.

The best part of the movie is the fetid, oppressive atmosphere Hooper works up inside the sweatshop that evocatively serves as an industrial hell. The Mangler itself is an imposing creation, and its gory activities (which are more so on an unrated video version) pack an occasional chill, but too much of the movie is devoted to slack plotting and overstated acting.

Filled with long, obviously improvised pseudo-philosophical ramblings about nothing -- and that's before the drugs kick in.

Formulaic and deeply unfunny.

Certainly, it's gross, and maybe even a bit shocking, but these filmmakers are smart enough to realize that raising the bar on crassness in teen sex comedies is a zero sum game.

As bad as the title, and much longer.

Preposterous, disingenuous, remarkably unfunny and genuinely distasteful.

A disaster. Mason founders in his poorly written role, and none of the film's endless series of gags is the least bit funny.

This is sorry stuff.

Production values are low -- though, mercifully, the sound recording is clear -- and overall the project smacks of juvenile hijinks.

Infantile fantasy reuniting the stars of Grease.

A turkey with all the trimmings.

Vulgar doesn't begin to describe it: Try one of the foulest, least funny films ever made under the rubric of black comedy.

The film tries to be a modern-day female version of THE DEFIANT ONES but fails to be anything more than 87 minutes of tripe.

Even the most ardent Cheech and Chong fans will have a hard time finding much to enjoy in this pathetic showing from the drug-oriented comedy duo.

This film doesn't even have the basic narrative coherence of the first two, and it rambles about aimlessly with little humor or action. This is commercial filmmaking at its very worst.

Dumb sex comedy...Not much here except loads of beautiful women in swimsuits.

The cast isn't bad but the movie is, and Amir's use of Holocaust imagery is cheap and unnecessary; Jo and Alexander could just as easily have died on the Titanic. At one point the dialogue is completely drowned out by the roar of the surf, and that is no doubt a blessing.

A stunningly inept and totally reprehensible film.