The sexual sadism that ruled in the first Hellraiser has been largely replaced by tiresome confrontations between the toymakers and Pinhead, who responds to their sputtering oaths with the most sensible line in the movie: "Do I look like someone who would care what God thinks?" [9 March 1996, p.F3]

Representationally, Clika is an important and worthy film. Cinematically, it unfortunately can’t find the beat.

What say we tiptoe quietly away and pretend this movie never happened?

By any sensible standard, and from any ethnic perspective, this is juvenile trash of the lowest order. Never rising above its own crotch-obsessed level of would-be satire, it fails to examine the social issues that give rap music its aggressive vitality, and completely misses every opportunity for intelligent comedy that lies neglected beneath the surface of its imbecilic, gutter-minded excuse for a plot. [12 Mar 1993, p.3]

Mr. Nanny is certainly harmless, even though Hogan acts as if he's stumbled onto the set of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. But only the most gullible 4-year-old will get a rise from the lifeless direction of co-writer Michael Gottlieb, whose earlier Mannequin provided a similar dose of moviegoing torture. [09 Oct 1993, p.C3]

This wildly overpraised Belgian mock-documentary might have been a lacerating 10-minute Swiftian satire of the media's never-ending thirst for blood. Instead, it's a 95-minute reiteration of the obvious that manages simultaneously to offend and bore. [11 June 1993, p.24]

It manages to combine the least appealing qualities of several previous Hughes productions - the obnoxiousness of the central character in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," the tedium of the teen-age confessionals in "The Breakfast Club," the gimmicky plotting of "Home Alone." And it has nothing fresh to add in terms of casting, storyline or the kinds of comic insights about suburban life that sustain Hughes' best scripts. [30 March 1991, p.C5]

It’s all very bizarrely, pointlessly complicated.

The dialogue is so insipid, the jokes so sophomoric, one gets the feeling Saget called in a favor to the Olsen twins on a day the pair were feeling particularly naughty. [15 Jun 1998]

Screeching, screaming, bouncing around the galaxy. Insufferable. And seemingly interminable.

Cameos by Mel Brooks and Whoopi Goldberg add nothing, and there's not much of a storyline to stitch together the gags. [05 Aug 1994, p.E3]

With scenes of epic destruction uncorked with numbing frequency, the picture drags. It’s two hours and 10 minutes long and you feel every last second.

Director Renny Harlin and his writers, Robert King and Marc Norman, appear to have spent many hours watching bad pirate movies, and they seem determined to repeat every pieces-of-eight cliche. [22 Dec 1995, p.G8]

The plot proceeds at a punishing clip but there’s a tediousness to the proceedings, even at a rather tight 97 minutes, because no dramatic weight is given to anything that unfolds.

Imagine the worst costume epic imaginable. Imagine no more. It exists.

The jokes are labored and rarely clever, the narration is self-consciously cute and the pace, under director Charles Martin Smith, is that of the snail. "Boris and Natasha" should have been as fast, funny and clever as "SCTV" once was. Instead, "Boris and Natasha" looks more like a Saturday morning kiddie cartoon than a comedy show for grown-ups. [16 Apr 1992, p.E6]

A thriller that fails on every level, it doesn't even make you want to find out what happens next. [26 Apr 1991, p.20]

One doesn't expect much of Bosworth or Seagal, but Don Johnson and Mickey Rourke have, on occasion, been mistaken for actors. That becomes increasingly difficult to remember as this expensive, interminable vanity production waddles toward its predictable conclusion. [24 Aug 1991, p.C5]

Williams' may represent hip-hop's cutting edge when it comes to videos, but concerning Belly, listen to some classic advice from Public Enemy: "Don't believe the hype." [04 Nov 1998]

As terrible as it is — and make no mistake, Moonfall is epically awful — it is also undeniably entertaining. A guilty pleasure, if you will. See it on the biggest screen you can. It’s a, er, riot.

Paula Patton, playing a half-orc, half-human female warrior, is the most sympathetic character and actually gives something approaching a fully fledged performance, but for the rest of it … ugliness as far as the eye can see.

What a pestilential little picture is Fist Fight.

It's neither scary nor original. In fact, it's something of a chore to sit through. [27 Oct 1990, p.C3]

Gringo has no spark, no fizz. Its scenes sag like overstretched taffy. Flavorless taffy.

There is absolutely nothing new under the many suns in Besson’s universe. This is a voyage not worth taking.

The director, Jon Turtletaub, completely misses the character-driven appeal of the Karate Kid series, and there's no Macauley Culkin in this cast. The movie is saddled with a junky visual style, haphazard editing and occasional out-of-focus shots. Much of it looks like very bad television, although the toilet jokes and a running gag about laxatives and instant diarrhea may be a little raw for the Disney Channel.

Steven Seagal should go into a seven-year coma more often. It suits his acting ability. A coma is what happens to him in Hard To Kill, his latest hard-to-swallow and dull-to-sit-through formula vigilante movie. [10 Feb 1990, p.C7]

The first creature feature of the new decade is here, and boy is it dumb.

The film is ponderous, the performances mostly subdued.

All things considered, this pitifully plotted Belgian-French production represents the nadir of animated movies released so far this year, a farrago of frantic action and mindless cacophony.

Blank Check will get a few big laughs from kids, but that doesn't stop this vapid, morally bankrupt and wretchedly written Disney comedy from being genuinely disgusting. [11 Feb 1994, p.D28]

As skiing comedies go, this one is no easier to endure than Hot Dog - The Movie or Snowball Express. Maslansky instructed his writers to come up with a script to go along with the title he'd dreamed up, and every character, comic twist and plot development seems tortuously manufactured and insincere. [10 Feb 1990, p.C7]

With his inspiration trapped in a time warp two decades old, Brooks' humor reminds you of the annoying uncle who would repeat ancient jokes at family gatherings. You smile politely, but you wish he'd just go away. [28 July 1993, p.E5]

The Glimmer Man is just as foolish and formulaic as it sounds. [05 Oct 1996, p.C3]

One might have hoped for some semblance of vitality and ingenuity in this, Jason's ninth and final solo killing spree, but it's a retread to its rotten core. [14 Aug 1993, p.C3]

The year is still young, but it's not likely to yield a more profoundly vacuous movie than Wild Orchid. [28 Apr 1990, p.C5]

This isn't a B-movie, a C-movie or even a Z-movie. In fact, there isn't a letter far enough down in the alphabet to cover Popcorn. [01 Feb 1991, p.22]

The Phoenix Incident is an indigestible mess.

Prince's onstage performances are less fun than they've ever been. He's smitten with the idea of himself as a holier-than-thou rock icon. Day recycles his two jokes from Purple Rain - combing his hair and looking in the mirror - while ogling every chick in sight. This is stale stuff.

Lambert relies so much on gore and mean-spiritedness that the actors can't help looking glum; they're clearly being ignored by a director who seems to have lost touch with all the human elements in the story. The movie is ultimately as lifeless as most of its characters end up being. [28 Aug 1992, p.28]

A colossal waste of time and the moviegoer’s dollars. That’s the bottom line of Daddy’s Home 2.

Despite claims to the contrary, Van Peebles has no apparent desire to accurately reflect history. Instead, he caters, with an ugly lack of integrity, to a twisted perception of "popular taste," spinning an ego-trip that steals a numbing variety of Western cliches while betraying them with contemporary flavoring. [14 May 1993, p.20]

Director Corin Hardy lards on the frights so relentlessly that the moments don’t build to any sort of sustained narrative momentum.

The only thing original in Dr. Giggles - about a psychotic doctor (Larry Drake) who escapes a mental institution to resume his belovedly departed father's explicitly unhealthy rampage of serial killings - is the freakish instruments that the pun-filled physician totes around in his bag of dirty tricks.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage is the movie equivalent of cotton candy: all empty calories. Excessive consumption of this product is likely to give a body the queasies.

No child should be exposed to this.

If ever there was a movie that should never have been made, Bad Santa 2 is that movie. It’s vile, like something written by a pen dipped in bile.

The best thing about The Greasy Strangler: that title. The worst thing about The Greasy Strangler: everything that follows that title.

An incredibly lame attempt at '90s-style camp horror.

D’Souza manipulates viewers’ passions while telling them who to blame for their bile. As for Hillary, D’Souza asserts she wants to nationalize all our industries and steal all our money. His lack of evidence undercuts his message.