The movie has all the propulsion of a trolling motor, traversing long-charted dramatic waters.

Sinister is basically a collection of bogus snuff films linked by standard haunted house tricks - everything creaking and slamming, with the power conveniently shut off.

A distinct lack of merriment marks each frame of this film, with Scott determined to erase all fond memories of past Robin Hoods.

Richie Rich is a movie fashioned with dollars, not sense. [21 Dec 1994, p.8C]

If not for a few choice performance moments and a couple of peppy montages, Wanderlust would be cinematic compost, recycled and thoroughly smelly.

As hollow as it is hip. [5 Feb 1988, p.8]

After a lucrative career of bashing well-made scary, epic, disaster and date movies, Friedberg and Seltzer have a source begging to be mocked.

Murder on the Orient Express is prestige gone off the rails, a tony chunk of nothing that doesn’t beg the question whodunnit as much as why?

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is a downgrade from the first, doing lots of thing wrong that 2012's sleeper hit did right.

Fallen begins in unremarkable fashion and trails off from there, idling its way through bland psycho-religious violence and spooky lighting. [16 Jan 1998, p.8]

Full of gratuitous sexual innuendoes and death-defying closeups of Playboy covergirl Anna Nicole Smith's anatomy, the film lacks most of the zest that made the original so tasty. [18 Mar 1994, p.6]

Jonah Hex isn't abrupt by design but by desperation.

Fails both as a film and even as fan service.

Disney's remake of Mighty Joe Young has little to recommend except more realistic special effects than the 1949 original and a handful of kid-sized thrills. The movie feels designed only to pass some time in a theater, without much attention to anything except building the perfect cuddly beast. [25 Dec 1998, p.8]

Filmmakers simply can't make Tarzan like they used to. If someone tries, like director David Yates did with The Legend of Tarzan, he's just another superhero, swinging on vines rather than spider webs. Natives can't be restless. Lions won't be wrestled...Tarzan fans leave feeling Cheetah'd.

Paul Haggis is positive that withholding information while John makes "A Beautiful Mind" flow charts and deals with bad dudes will keep it interesting. Haggis is wrong.

A sloppy, schizophrenic effort; a rollicking parody, a somber romantic tragedy, an orgy of violence and an incomplete work on all fronts. [24 Dec 1993, p.9]

It's genial entertainment, packed with the sort of nonsense kids love and a family-values message parents can respect, but it simply isn't focused or funny enough to convince anyone that Culkin - or co-star Ted Danson for that matter - has the chops for lasting stardom. [17 Jun 1994, p.8]

Brill's film isn't as offensive as it could be, nor as funny as it should be. Heavyweights is a case of no pain, and no gain, either. [19 Feb 1995, p.16C]

Blended is simply more of the stale Sandler formula that audiences wisely haven't sought as much.

As director and writer, MacFarlane appears to have forgotten everything about cinematic standards of pacing, characterization and meaningful smut, resulting in an encore that's slow, sketchy and dumb-dirty.

Harrelson and Dern's efforts aside, Wilson is indie ennui at its emptiest, a vessel of misshapen wit with a hole in the bottom. Its nihilism is exhausting. Oddness gets oppressive when a movie goes through more mood swings than its unbalanced heroes.

Nothing to skip school over but at least it's not in 3-D. No sense in paying an extra ticket charge for something belonging on TV, anyway.

Vittorio Storaro's cinematography is superb, casting gauzy glows and sensual silhouettes against impressively designed sets. Allen drops a few philo-cynical lines worthy of his reputation but not nearly enough.

Fey and Poehler remain game throughout, mustering a bit of besties magic here and there. Sisters flips a tested formula to become the New Coke of comedy, looking familiar and bubbly on the surface, disposable before it's finished.

Sloan and director Richard Benjamin (My Favorite Year) are content to drift along on the star power of Goldberg and Danson, who are certainly appealing actors, but push every wisecrack and doubletake into bad dinner theater territory. [28 May 1993, p.6B]

DuVernay finds herself in the unenviable position of being both the right and wrong person for an important job. A Wrinkle in Time is gratifying for what it is, a step forward for creative women of color, and so disappointing for what it turns out to be.

Timecop has its fleeting moments of fun; mostly when Van Damme finally starts ribbing himself, years after Stallone and Schwarzenegger poked a hole in their own musclebound images. But director Peter Hyams and screenwriter Mark Verheiden (who co-created the Timecop comic book character) aren't nearly as clever as they think they are. [16 Sep 1994, p.6]

Sugar Hill is a movie that manages to be as self-destructive as its two central characters, Harlem drug-runners Roemello and Raynathan Skuggs. Like those two desperate (and disparate) brothers, Leon Ichaso's film ultimately wastes its potential and our time. [26 Feb 1994, p.7B]

This is certainly the talkiest of the seven films in the series and Craven never comes close to convincing us this could all be true. [14 Oct 1994, p.10]

For all its professional sheen, Species is a film that mistakenly believes it is smarter than the audience, scarier than any movie before it, and completely original. It's enough to make you laugh, if the filmmakers ever gave any impression that we're supposed to do that. Instead, we sit through 111 minutes of box office staples - sex, violence, more sex, more violence - and keep track of the better movies that Donaldson rips off. [07 July 1995, p.9]

Date Night is really just another example of what happens when funny sitcom stars are lumped together in a movie, believing that laughter exponentially increases with screen size.

The best moments in Wayne's World 2 have been done before and better - a kung fu movie spoof and a running gag based on Oliver Stone's The Doors (which was unintentionally funnier). Surjik trots out a slew of star cameos and cinema salutes, but without the verve of Hot Shots!, Fatal Instinct or Wayne's World itself. [10 Dec 1993, p.6]

Kingsman: The Golden Circle is a tarnished sequel demolishing the original's balderdash charm in tumble-dry camera moves, CGI slosh and Elton John f-bombs.

Director Joe Wright's movie barely gets off the ground, and gets old quickly.

Fortress is a 91-minute sentence of bland deja vu for sci-fi watchers.

To enjoy 18 Again, I would have to be 8 again. That was about the age of the young man sitting next to me, and he had a great time. I didn't. [08 Apr 1988, p.6]

The Night Before isn't anything Harold, Kumar or Billy Bob Thornton didn't desecrate before and better.

The fifth edition of the franchise, A Good Day to Die Hard, is the brawniest and most brainless of the bunch.

Jade is another thriller where convenient shocks substitute for clues and motives come from the groin, not the mind. [13 Oct 1995, p.6]

The concept is rich with potential to offend yet after a promising opener Cody doesn't seem interested.

Hark's visual style occasionally strays from standard operating procedure with an arty camera effect or an odd angle. Those flashes of inspiration only serve to make the cliches - such as a coliseum showdown complete with land mines, snipers and a tiger - clunk a little louder. In the big game of entertainment, Double Team barely gets off the bench. [5 Apr 1997, p.2B]

A movie that wouldn't get much attention if the creator of "Titanic" and "Avatar" (as the ads overhype) weren't tangentially involved.

The Program trudges along like a fat freshman walk-on in a muddy practice field, piling up one collegiate scandal after another without a moral in sight. [24 Sept 1993, p.6B]

What is most surprising about The Indian in the Cupboard is its listless pacing, without emotional goosebumps. Director Frank Oz's films (Little Shop of Horrors, Housesitter), usually possess an energy to carry audiences along. [14 July 1995, p.8]

Rocker John Mellencamp's attempt at making an honest little movie about the tribulations of a country star who tries to go home again doesn't just fall from grace. It falls flat on its, er, face. [17 Apr 1992, p.15]

Clash of the Titans redefines 3-D but in the wrong way; the movie is dull, dingy and, well, let's just say dull again.

Step Up Revolution is a bad movie with a few good moments, usually when the cast sets aside delusions of acting prowess and does what comes naturally to them.

Things are kept fast, loose and very violent. Renegades makes a grand effort not to be boring, but at the expense of believability and logic. [03 Jun 1989, p.1D]

Envisioned as a surrealistic painting come to life, it is a delight to behold, yet it fails miserably as a compelling piece of storytelling. It is a listless, largely vapid tale, even though it has been revised over a dozen years by writer-director Barry Levinson. [18 Dec 1992, p.21]

Rather than embellish the original movie, the filmmakers have merely strived to re-create it. [22 Mar 1991, p.6]

Take away the quality look of this movie and the sensitive performance of Ford (he makes Phil Donahue look brutish), and there's a plot shamelessly tugging at heartstrings. It comes complete with a beagle puppy and a freckle-faced child, raising the saccharine level. [10 July 1991, p.1D]

Kids will probably enjoy all the nonsense, and even attending adults have one consolation: There are worse things to sit through. Just rent Howard the Duck if you don't believe it. [31 Mar 1990, p.1D]

This tender tale of two sisters coping with their free-spirited mother in innocent 1963 is just too cute. It needs some chinks in its gossamer-glazed armor. [14 Dec 1990, p.12]

Writer-director Luis Valdez's movie is an example of just how tedious a bio-pic can be. [24 July 1987, p.3D]

The only highlights in this farce are Wallace Shawn's brief comic turn as the killer's attorney, and Mark Margolis' portrayal of a man who'd rather fight than let Terry into his phone booth. I applaud his integrity. [16 Jan 1987, p.3D]

Overboard is predictable, yet charming. Russell exudes a natural earthiness that lends itself to this type of material. Hawn plays gamely along. While Overboard recalls director Marshall's (Nothing in Common) sitcom days, the movie is shot with the sort of graininess that can never be mistaken for television. It could look a lot better. [18 Dec 1987, p.7]

The Believers is the type of movie that generates shocks more successfully than it tells a story. [10 Jun 1987, p.1D]

Unfortunately, Can't Buy Me Love is not particularly funny. Rash is so concerned with exploring the abhorrent high school caste system - making a teen comedy with a conscience - that the story ultimately becomes leaden and pedantic. Add to this the movie's predictability at every turn, including an ever-so-tidy conclusion, and you end up with something that's little more than a nice try. [14 Aug 1987, p.3D]

Although The Bear is as handsome as Quest for Fire - the story of an Ice Age tribe moving up the evolutionary ladder - it is also as turgid. [27 Oct 1989, p.12]

Eastwood is absolutely the wrong actor to play Huston, called John Wilson in White Hunter, Black Heart. Eastwood is tense and tightly coiled, while Huston was gleefully bombastic. [12 Oct 1990, p.7]

Evidently, Schrader didn't believe strongly in his own screenplay, and that lack of faith proves fatal. [06 Feb 1987, p.1D]

For all its shortcomings and long speeches, The Presidio is to be credited for trying to reach beyond formula. Hyams and screenwriter Ferguson (Highlander, Beverly Hills Cop II) have aspired to make more than a mismatched buddy movie. But the task has proved too intricate for them to achieve. [10 June 1988, p.6]

Whatever raffish charm Reeves and Swayze exhibit is lost in the superficial gloss of Iliff's screenplay and Bigelow's direction. [12 July 1991, p.7]

John Hughes didn't have an idea for a summer film this year, but he went ahead and made one anyway. The Great Outdoors, Hughes' latest extrusion from his script factory, has almost nothing to recommend it, save a lovely performance by John Candy, one of the most likable actors anywhere. Candy is untouchable; when the film is good, you want to see more of him, because he's mostly the reason. When the film is not so good (which is often), you don't blame him. [17 June 1988, p.7]

What undercuts Deep Cover is its convoluted, talky and ultimately predictable screenplay written by Henry Bean and Michael Tolkin. [15 Apr 1992, p.1D]

You're safe this Christmas. There are no more obnoxious, senile or terminally stupid relatives to go around. Clark Griswold has invited them all to his house. Know what? They're no more fun to watch at his place than they are at yours...This sort of predictable, lowest-common-denominator humor is entertaining to a degree. It fulfills expectations. [1 Dec 1989, p.7]

The Rookie is the most brain dead action-thriller Eastwood has ever directed or starred in. It plays well as a comedy, but that isn't its intent. [07 Dec 1990, p.6]

As the story lumbers on, the noose around Farrell's neck tightens and No Way Out gets funnier. Not by design, however. [14 Aug 1987, p.1D]

If the movie has nothing important to say, so what? Neither do most surfers. [14 Aug 1987, p.1D]

Like most of Hill's movies, Johnny Handsome plays like an outline: a good idea in need of development. [29 Sep 1989, p.7]

While The Hidden never manages to meld Aliens with Blue Velvet - that appears to be Hunt's intention. It has a kinky charm that fuels it full throttle throughout. [30 Oct 1987, p.5D]

Pink Cadillac is the most amiable and mindless Eastwood comedy in years. That it's even marginally entertaining is a substantial feat, given John Eskow's predictable script, which has more pings than the Caddy's engine. [30 May 1989, p.1D]

While there is an undeniable beauty in the film's images and a measure of energy from the exotic perfume of the people and places, Black Rain is in the end a cop movie, with a particularly pedestrian story to boot. [22 Sep 1989, p.6]

Memphis Belle is the most superficial, jingoistic, stereotyped World War II movie in years. [12 Oct 1990, p.6]

Leave your taste in the car and check your mind at the door. If nothing else, Predator 2 delivers one thing: buckets of blood, which is probably why a lot of people will see it. [23 Nov 1990, p.6]

An offbeat romance as dysfunctional as its lovers. [17 Feb 1993, p.5B]

The Principal almost has something to say about inner-city high schools, public education in the '80s, and race relations. It never deals with these issues, and a good cast is abandoned in the parking lot. [21 Sep 1987, p.1D]

Always is meant to be a fantasy. But it is far too sappy to ignite the imagination. [22 Dec. 1989, p.6]

It's not that the man who brought us Rocky Balboa doesn't fit into a funny movie, it's just that as the lead of rollicking Oscar, he's cast beyond his capabilities. [26 Apr 1991, p.6]

Toy Soldiers is a lame-brained action-adventure casting a quintet of Tiger Beat heartthrobs as prep school pranksters battling Colombian narco-terrorists who overrun their alma mater. [26 Apr 1991, p.12]

Action director John Badham has made the ultimate smash-and-crash chase movie. It's practically brain dead. It uses a hackneyed premise to string together as many stunts as possible, all the while borrowing from Badham's, Gibson's and Hawn's movies. [18 May 1990, p.7]

This sequel has neither the tingling anticipation of Spielberg's '75 original, nor the excellent 3-D effects of the third film. [22 July 1987, p.2D]

Switch is a movie in search of an ending, much like Edwards' other lesser comedies. It covers an incredible amount of ground without getting anywhere. [10 May 1991, p.6]

Foley's screenplay and direction constantly require viewers to re-evaluate the trio and their relationship with one another. This works as long as the dialogue is tolerable, which isn't long enough. [07 Sep 1990, p.6]

Any movie that features a dramatic actor like Kurt Russell playing straight man to a goofball like Martin Short already is sailing on choppy waters. Toss in a script that leaves no cliche unturned and the result is Captain Ron, a seafaring comedy that keeps its creativity in dry dock. [18 Sep 1992, p.8]

Chaplin is a screen biography of a comedy legend that takes itself much too seriously. [08 Jan 1993, p.8]

Beverly Hills Cop II is practically a carbon copy of the original movie, which, at the very least, exhibited a glimmer of invention. The sequel is superior only in terms of technique. It looks slicker and sounds better; more like a music video. Its tone is fractionally more reserved. And there isn't the unsettling clash between humor and violence. [22 May 1987, p.1D]

It is a fairly conventional cartoonish farce, like his 1986 horse racing comedy A Fine Mess. And despite Blind Date's emphasis on excess, its final cut seems uncommonly restrained. [27 Mar 1987, p.4D]

Ironweed doesn't work despite the stellar performances of Nicholson as former baseball pro Francis Phelan and Meryl Streep as his pal, Helen Archer, the former musician whose booze-ravaged voice still bears the air of cultivation. [12 Feb 1988, p.5]

It never digs very deep. But it's palatable and well-meaning. It's a Disneyland version of a big-issue movie. Nothing great. But we could do worse. [07 Feb 1992, p.7]

Wind only hits full stride during the racing sequences, filmed with stunning authenticity by cinematographer John Toll. This movie should be a shoo-in for an Oscar nomination for Toll's work. But there hasn't been such a threadbare film so dependent upon its camera work since Days of Heaven. [11 Sep 1992, p.10]

Deceptions drive A Kiss Before Dying. Too bad they're too implausible to impart any sense of believability in this bloody fantasy. [26 Apr 1991, p.10]

Movies like Miss Daisy purport to be humanistic or aimed at a higher consciousness, but they're as self-righteous and silly as the one-dimensional characters they depict. [12 Jan. 1990, p.7]

Chevy Chase only knows how to play Chevy Chase. Unless he jettisons his smug routine and learns to act, he will always be his and his movies' biggest liability. [17 March 1989, p.6]

More than a little has been lost in the translation. Screenwriters Richard Maxwell and A.R. Simoun have created a horrific Indiana Jones adventure with Davis being portrayed by Bill Pullman, an actor who does a poor imitation of Michael Douglas doing a poor imitation of Harrison Ford.[6 Feb 1988, p.2D]

Even Pee-wee seems subdued. The man-child whose suit cuffs are intimate with his ankles and elbows is growing up. Kids may still adore him. But adults will find his persona worn at the edges. [23 Jul 1988, p.1D]

Despite sharp humor and bravura performances - including a cameo by Regis Philbin as the epitome of Harry's dream of success - Night and the City is not a pleasant experience. While anything less would betray its bracing dose of true grit, Night and the City is so downbeat that it ultimately seems like an exercise in self-flagellatio.