Disney’s gimmick of naming movies for its theme-park attractions crashes and burns in Tomorrowland, a here-and-now caper that will confuse children, bore adults and offend anyone who’s ever taken a science class.

In this year's stupid sexy screamer, Sliver, [Stone] tries to reveal some of her character's mind. But there's nothing in there but cotton candy and foggy images from old soap operas. [23 May 1993, p.12C]

The trailers for the Reese Witherspoon-Sofia Vergara comedy Hot Pursuit hint at a movie that’s unfunny, insufferable and obvious. You can’t say you weren’t warned.

In the hands of some Eastern European masters, stop-motion animation has created some fine adult animated films, like Jan Svankmajer's spooky version of "Alice in Wonderland." But The Nightmare Before Christmas is basically a charmless and muddled tale that aims at a target somewhere in the vast gulf between Franz Kafka and Walt Disney and hits nothing. [22 Oct 1993, p.3E]

A bland family-feud potboiler with no sign of the cook.

A soulless, overblown bore.

This party is a dud.

Suffering through this felonious farce could only inspire a prison riot.

Where the original play "La Ronde" was a social satire about the transmission of venereal disease, 30 Beats is a sickly stepchild.

That can’t disguise the script’s complete lack of wit or originality, though, or the generally wooden acting.

This droll, leisurely paced movie might alternately be titled "The Only Good Man in Africa." [09 Sep 1994, p.3F]

A disgrace and a waste of the talents of Oscar winners Keaton, Fonda and Steenburgen and Emmy recipient Bergen. Obviously, the film is intended for an older audience. But is this anemic, feature-length sitcom really the best that Hollywood can do?

For anyone expecting the second coming of Clouseau, Johnny English Reborn is a karmic catastrophe.

With movies like this, Lopez might want to start leaving low-end romantic comedies alone and look at her movie career's backup plan.

The film makes a few starts in many directions but doesn't go very far in any, and that's disappointing to those of us who thought so much of Soderbergh's previous effort. Oh, well, everyone's entitled to a clunker now and then. [7 Feb. 1992, p.3F]

On Stranger Tides has the fishy smell of something washed ashore and sold as new. But this shipwreck isn't worth a wooden doubloon.

So stupid and hateful, it needs to have a stake driven through its heart before it can spawn a franchise.

This is Bay’s world, and when faced with the end of the world, there’s only one message to be gleaned from this supposed finale of the “Transformers” franchise: The Mack trucks and the muscle cars will outlive us all.

As in the first "Sherlock Holmes" movie, there are plenty of pratfalls and bare-knuckle brawls but no sleuthing for us to share.

The spectacular collapse of Green Lantern is bound to be blamed on Reynolds, but the villainy has its origins in an injustice league of TV-trained screenwriters and tin-hearted studio suits.

Long before you’ve gotten a nickel’s worth of entertainment out of this dumb, unfunny flick, you’ll be wishing for the flashing sign that says “Game over.”

The overt sexuality of Madonna's stage show, particularly the lengthy exercise in self-stimulation called Like a Virgin, as well as the sometimes startling bluntness of her talk, keeps the movie from being totally boring. But this kind of trash can only sustain itself for so long - for most of us, about as long as it takes to get through the line at a supermarket. [17 May 1991, p.3F]

The overall feel is less of a cohesive documentary and more of a slapdash scrapbook of facts, historical information and name-dropping.

Ted does not only break before it ends. It snaps back so violently that it very well may knock out of your mind any recollection that the movie is fairly entertaining for about 30 minutes.

Oyelowo and Mara achieve terrific chemistry. Perhaps they’ll work together again — in a better film.

In Secret is so stifled, it makes “Les Misérables” look like “Amélie.”

One has to wonder why the film was even made if it had to be so disastrously compromised. Chekhov would be appalled.

It’s nearly tragic to see America’s Greatest Living Actor on the guest list for The Big Wedding, the latest limp comedy about seniors behaving badly.