On Stranger Tides has the fishy smell of something washed ashore and sold as new. But this shipwreck isn't worth a wooden doubloon.

In addition to starring, Jolie Pitt wrote and directed By the Sea. She has given herself relatively little dialogue, but stuck her husband with lines like “Stop acting like this!” and “You resist happiness!”

A movie with no surprises at all, a streamlined chase flick that is running on the fumes from recycled fuel.

Like the middle-aged dads in this flaccid fiasco, Hall Pass is a decade behind the curve of what's happening.

One can’t help but feel that the man himself — grill and all — is so much more fascinating than this rote representation.

The zombie scenes are startling, but only PG-13 horrifying. That will probably be just fine with most Jane Austen fans.

Initially, the puzzle structure and a pair of Oscar-winning actresses distract us from the dark vacuum at the center of this enterprise, but when it implodes, it doesn't reverberate.

Director Susan Seidelman becomes heavy-handed on occasion, but mostly the comedy works to perfection. [10 Dec 1989, p.7DZ]

For the rest of his life, Spencer Susser can brag to the other ditch diggers that he persuaded two of the best young actors in Hollywood to star in one of the worst movies ever made.

If Midler weren't involved, and if she weren't surrounded by a good ensemble, the whole enterprise probably would fall into a watery grave. But Midler carries off the role. [2 Feb 1990, p.5F]

Clearly, this is a star vehicle — and the eminently likable Johnson is unquestionably a star. Through sheer force of personality, he elevates Rampage into something reasonably entertaining.

If your inner amphibian craves a wave, you have the right kind of brain to appreciate the elemental story and scenic backdrops. But advanced mammals might smell something fishy.

It’s too cheesy and predictable to be a real miracle, but by Vegas standards, it’s a winner.

Jim Belushi can be a pretty funny guy, but this time he should have heeded the old show-biz warning about staying away from animal actors. [02 May 1989, p.4D]

The more suitably antic Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp were considered for the part before Franco wandered into the picture with his stoner grin.

Nothing more than uninspired mushiness.

’Round these parts, when a movie promises a million laughs but only delivers a dozen chuckles, that’s a hanging offense.

Warlock is one of those awful movies that serves a purpose: On a rainy day it's a way to keep dry, and most of the film is so dark that it's easy to nod off during the duller parts. [06 Mar 1991, p.5E]

Hill fans - and I'm one - should find Last Man Standing intriguing, but it's certainly not among his top four or five works. [20 Sep 1996, p.3E]

It’s downright depressing to see Oscar winners Hunt and Hurt struggling to make something meaningful out of their superficially written characters.

May be one of the most fun-free, angst-ridden teens we've seen on the big screen in a long time.

Tickets to Pacific Rim Uprising should come with a package of aspirin.

Parillaud is a pretty good actress, handling a comic line with aplomb and displaying a proper amount of je ne sais quoi. The movie, on the other hand, is overdone, overblown, overlong and last but certainly not least, over-gory. Michael Wolk's screenplay and John Landis' direction belabor the obvious and the bloody to the exclusion of all else. [25 Sept 1992, p.3F]

Sitting through A Good Old Fashioned Orgy is like being monopolized by the most irritating person at a really boring party.

It requires a mild suspension of disbelief to accept that slacker David would suddenly intervene in so many lives, pretending to be a good Samaritan.

Plays as if Tillman studied the works of director Michael Mann ("Heat"), but got a C on the final exam.

Not a great comedy, or even, much of the time, a very good one, but the few belly laughs and the relationship between the two stars make it worth seeing. [16 May 1989, p.4D]

Not all of it makes sense, but for disaster movie fans, Into the Storm has enough destruction to go around.