Catastrophically overdone.

Feeble and formulaic.

This is a movie that both parodies "The Sopranos" and aspires to its mordant humor. I don't think anyone -- not Tony Soprano, not Paul Vitti -- can have it both ways.

Feels downright ancient.

On the whole, the movie is more Cheez Whiz than wizardly.

It stars the striking Moss, that fierce beauty from "The Matrix," as the sternest, sexiest babe in space since Sigourney Weaver's Lieutenant Ripley.

You haven't heard anything until you've heard "Play That Funky Music" on the accordion.

Too cute by half, the high school comedy John Tucker Must Die is just so likable, so, um, cute - in that helpless-bunny-wabbit sort of way - that to diss it would be to admit being a heartless, cynical Bambi-killer.

A Kid in King Arthur's Court - more precisely A California Mallrat at the Round Table, in which a contemporary Little Leaguer time-travels to the 11th century and teaches Arthur how to chew bubblegum - works too hard for its occasional laugh. [11 Aug 1995, p.05]

Boy, can Harvey Keitel be bad -- and not bad like "Bad Lieutenant," bad like bad acting.

Completely unhinged, a garish and gonzo walk on the wild side.

Snow Dogs? "Snow Job" is more like it.

Sly can still fill a too-tight polo shirt at 66 - in the same way Jack LaLanne did in his later years. But no amount of movie magic can make him pass for a lethal and nimble juggernaut.

At its best, Queen is campy fun like the Vincent Price horror classics of the '60s. At its worst, it implodes in a series of very bad special effects.

Half enjoyable goof, half an uncomfortable panorama of urban terrorism that just doesn't sit well after Sept. 11.

Tedious sports inspirational that genuflects before the mythology of Notre Dame football with the story of a walk-on who fulfilled a lifelong dream of suiting up for the Irish. [26 May 1994, p.E05]

Elegiac and corny and not really convincing on any level (especially when it comes to its treatment of women - be they hookers, or waitresses, or girls on the town), Stand Up Guys nonetheless holds some fascination just for the off-the-charts affectedness of Pacino's performance.

Fails to provide one essential ingredient: suspense.

While Scott's movie has a consistent aura, it lacks a consistent tone. What are we to make of the movie, gauzy as a mist-shrouded lake and brutal as "Lord of the Flies?"

It's a big stuffed turkey of a movie, just in time for the holidays.

Satire should be knife-sharp and whip-smart, and The Nanny Diaries never is.

Gimmicky artifice.

A mostly charmless affair.

By no means is this a good movie, but it's warmed by the solar energy of its star, who surely deserves better than this formula empowerment flick.

In Don McKellar's remake of "Seducing Doctor Lewis", a 2003 French-Canadian comedy, the charm feels force-fed.

Fortunately for us, they number these Final Destination scarefests. Otherwise, it would be impossible to tell them apart.

Hesher has its genuinely affecting scenes, but too much of the time it feels false and shallow.

Joltingly graphic and atmospheric (Nixey and his crew at least know how to set up a few good shocks), Don't Be Afraid of the Dark fails to involve us in any meaningful way with its characters.