The same shabby AI and pathfinding that plagued the original have survived the trip. It's truly despicable that none of the problems were fixed. [Jan 2003, p.110]

Updates are planned, but this needs too much work under the hood to be worth your time or money. [May 2017, p.89]

The battles are pretty damn chaotic. They're also devoid of fun, have little rhyme or reason, and often leave you with no idea why you won or lost. [Oct 2002, p.97]

A hideous collage of unconsidered platforming and vapid combat in a procedural world bleached of meaning. [Aug 2012, p.70]

Think about it: the developer built in a level skip. I recommend a cheaper alternative: the game skip. [Oct 2008, p.66]

Getting voted off THIS island makes you a winner, not a loser. [Feb 2002, p.79]

Ditch this loser and go play one of the three far-superior Splinter Cell games. [Oct 2005, p.68]

This is an immense disservice to the Flatout franchise, and one that makes Flatout 2 look like a vehicular ballet. [Apr 2012, p.72]

The physics are a joke, even for an arcade racer - driving these machines is about as exciting as pushing heavy wooden blocks around a cement floor. [Feb 2005, p.71]

A thoroughly appalling console port that should've never left its PlayStation jewelcase. [May 2001, p.77]

Bargain bins are overflowing with shooters that are oldies-but-goodies. This one's a newbie-but-crappy. [July 2005, p.65]

Making matters far, far worse is the game's tendency to randomly crash to the desktop when you enter new areas. If you must play this game (and I emphasize the word "if"), remember to save often. [Apr 2005, p.73]

A misguided attempt at parody, underpinned by a poor sports game by anyone’s standards.

Just a series of abstract puzzles strung together by a very thing story, and no real interaction with other characters. [Dec 2004, p.89]

Value priced at only 20 bucks, but not rreally worth the penicillin shot. [Dec 2007, p.70]

Shame on you SEGA, for disrespecting fans with this sad excuse for an action game. [Aug 2008, p.65]

The PC version is nothing more than formulaic action/adventure that's been dumbed down for kids. It's a waste of everyone's time...A colossal disappointment. [Oct 2004, p.92]

Hell, it's so bad, it makes David Lynch's ultra-tedious 1984 movie adaptation seem positively refreshing. [Apr 2002, p.76]

The really smart thing is to quit out early, uninstall it and play damn near anything else instead. [Mar 2010, p.85]

It's not even remotely close to being fun, and serves as a fine example of how not to make an action game. [Sept 2011, p.77]

Riddled with bugs and bizarre mechanics, Underworld Ascendant is a bafflingly poor debut from OtherSide Entertainment.

The terrible camera angles will force you to constantly use the manual camera adjustments, which is part of the reason you get killed so often and have to restart levels. [Mar 2004, p.62]

It seems that my best efforts to "train" [my fellow climbers] in the various arts of climbing, they all seem to lack the most basic cognitive thinking. In fact, they keep insisting on trying to walk through rocks (as opposed to simply walking around them), and they bunch up when it comes time to climb, crawling around on the ground like common baboons. [Sept 2004, p.63]

The mystery is why you would insult yourself by playing it. [Feb 2005, p.61]

For some reason, Greek developer Anima PPD thought the world was yearning for a new FMV game, <I>and</I> one with the production values of a Malaysian music video. [Jan 2004, p.105]

Crappy gameplay mechanics, crappy graphics, crappy AI, crappy gameplay options, and crappy controller support. [Holiday 2003, p.110]

Walle-E may be rated E for Everyone, but no one should be forced to play it. [Nov 2008, p.71]

It hurts to say, but it must be said: This one's a mythtake. [Aug 2005, p.61]