A perfect storm of cynical derivative design and slipshod implementation. [June 2008, p.102]

We can't think of a time throughout the history of the PC when this might have been considered a well-executed title. [Christmas 2006, p.92]

The game boils down to hammering the hit button until all the identikit bad guys have turned red and vanished. It's cack. Avoid. [June 2007, p.64]

Genuinely uninteresting racing. [July 2009, p.94]

On PC, however, it's an utter travesty. You'd have to be crazier than the Rabbids themselves to buy the PC version of this game. [Feb 2007, p.68]

A sim of Arnie’s election campaign would be more entertaining.

Drivel. [Mar 2007, p.76]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it, and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004, p.103]

Is there a form I can fill in to get these hours of my life back? [Feb 2010, p.95]

An ugly WW2 RTS. Full of text-based mission intros and no joy whatsoever. The controls are clunky, the unit models are thoroughly basic and utterly devoid of any graphical niceties. [May 2007, p.68]

Fill your house with treacle and grenades instead. That's actually more fun. [Sept 2005, p.102]

Crude and boring. Stick a cork up Larry's ass and his game in the bin. [Christmas 2004, p.120]

The core game itself can't stand alone and captivate its audience as much as it confuses them. [Oct 2007, p.65]

Cheap, tired and dull. Avoid it and the inevitable fourth sequel. [Nov 2004]

A PS2 port, when there's an Xbox 360 version? This is a dreadful example of shameless corner cutting and an awful game. [Aug 2008, p.107]

An awful port of a dismal console game. Buying this would be a crime-in-itself. [July 2005, p.98]

You can't out-Diablo "Diablo," so don't try. [Oct 2005, p.92]

Go buy the book, it'll last longer, give you more joy and won't make you feel like your brain's leaking out of your ears. [Mar 2007, p.76]

Sonic Riders resembles what I can only imagine Keith Richards' worst nightmares are like, but rendered in 1999-qualitiy Playstation-o-vision. What's more, if you have an ATI card, it's framerate is slower than evolution itself. [June 2007, p.64]

If you find your trigger finger itching, you'd better buy yourself a WWII or sci-fi shooter to sate your appetite, because Kuma/War manages to get it very wrong. In every single sense. [Dec 2004, p.101]

Combine all of this with shocking AI, unfair combat and limited ammo, and you're looking at a veritable festival of the mediocre. [June 2005, p.101]

It looks lovely, but plays like an out-of-tune banjo, thanks to the notorious trial-and-error gameplay. [Sept 2006, p.104]

One of the worst adventures I've ever played. [Sept 2008, p.116]

The only thing you'll be smashing if you buy this game is the area surrounding your PC. It really is truly offensive. [Sept 2008, p.114]

It's as much fun as cycling up the wrong side of the M5. [Sept 2008, p.115]

It makes Doom 3 look like a masterpiece. [Christmas 2009, p.94]

Stunningly terrible. [Jan 2008, p.72]

All the thrill of the hunt, without the thrill or hunt. [March 2005, p.113]