It's slow. It's dull. It's listless.

The "Melissa & Joey" pilot is no great shakes. But Melissa and Joey could be.

Messy pilot that doesn't offer enough backstory, or reason to care all that much about Constantine.

Murdered innocents, a gory sword fight in slow motion and dry, witty, dialogue. Yes, it's all here, but what's missing is ... excitement.

There is some pleasure in reconnecting with the old gang, but that eventually wears off. This revival feels so last century.

Gossip Girl actually isn't bad by the standards of the medium--with "The Hills" pretty much being the standard--and it's even surprisingly competent.

Watching Charlie stare into space and compute somehow isn't as persuasive as watching Gil Grissom or one of his "CSI" cohorts peer into a microscope. [23 Jan 2005]

By-the-numbers procedural with a pair of appealing leads. Otherwise, by-the-book bland.

At first glance in the two-hour pilot, none of the actors comes close to the robust presence of "SG-1" star Richard Dean Anderson, while the show relies on the technology and special effects that can send noncultists fleeing. (Good luck trying to fathom the setup, too, if you're not already "Stargate"-versed.) [11 Jul 2004]

If you expect the worst, your expectations will probably be met.

Light as air, not much more substance, "Take Two" is a genial "Castle" redo.

Despite the storylines' incessant emotional and psychological delvings, the result is an inert if not annoying muddle among unpleasantly profane people whose prospective salvation isn't worth wading toward.

Robbins means business, calmly prodding family members--and not just the apparent aggressors--to truly comprehend where others are coming from. She calls people on their bull, eliciting not just tears from stress but tears of realization.

Surprise! Crusoe's good, and by "good" I mean competently produced and acted.

The thing that's really creepy about Harsh Realm is how predictable, superfluous, and gratuitously murky and convoluted all this intrigue seems. [8 Oct 1999, p.B55]

My pregnant friends polish up the hand-me-downs, shop for the rest of their gear at Target and worry to death about how to make ends meet when it comes to child care. They know what to name their offspring. That's what makes this new Bravo show exploiting the rich all the more fascinating.

It's an odd concept, but it works pretty well.

Underwood, in the role of Maria, didn't entirely succeed--acting is part of the bargain, after all. But NBC's live version of Richard Rodgers' and Oscar Hammerstein's beloved musical, staged at Grumman Studios in Bethpage, largely did.

While not the most stupid thing on the air, it borders on stupidity. [8 Jan 1996]

Been here/seen this--a lot--but familiarity could work in favor of Deception.

Pulp hooey with a comic book vitality and earnestness that manages to keep it (usually) on track.

A thorough whitewashing.

A not-bad spinoff that feels older than "The Vampire Diaries" and even more convoluted.

Even with endless talk about genitalia and the things people can do to them, The League is surprisingly dull and slack - without snap or payoff.

Here's a fundamental truth: Family genealogies are fascinating--to the family in question.

Some excellent special effects are in Monday night's episode, but nothing particularly shocking because it's become abundantly clear by now that The Dome can do any damn thing The Dome--or the writers--want.

It's summer, expectations are low, and you could do a lot worse than this genial, softhearted import.

Sweetbitter has some sensory pleasures, a good cast and better wine (or so we're told). Otherwise occasionally pretentious and ultimately superficial.