Why doesn't anybody just buy a gun? I guess the female characters spent all their money on tight tank tops.

The praise for this static, overlong, stagebound work is a mystery to me.

As my cat, Audrey, will confirm, I love animals. But I draw the line at having lions, tigers, gigantic snakes, bears and other predators as pets. Other people have different opinions.

At best a sporadically amusing sketchbook of theater types.

Does a first-rate job of remembering.

For maximum enjoyment, see this on the enormous classic IMAX screen.

At its best, the movie is an unbearably precious slice of stale imitation Wes Anderson. But at its worst, it's dull and strangled by its own would-be jaunty deadpan.

A Western, but any similarities between it and, say, a Gene Autry or Hopalong Cassidy shoot-em-up are nonexistent.

Though the movie has some engagingly quirky moments, everything falls into place far too easily for much suspense to build, and the romance between the two leads seems as contrived as everything else.

Writer-director Keith Bearden was also smart enough to round up a couple of other old pros: Brian Dennehy, as the hero's eccentric grandfather, and Keith David, as a wise collector of pop-culture artifacts.

You'd think it would be hard to make an uninteresting movie based on the true story of Bethany Hamilton... But the terminally bland Soul Surfer comes perilously close.

Your Highness refuses to take itself seriously, which is both boring and sort of charming to a limited extent.

Hanna doesn't go wrong immediately. It takes at least 2½ minutes.

Attempting to fill Dudley Moore's top hat in Arthur, Russell Brand rapidly descends the rungs of the comedy ladder from "unfunny" to "irritating" to "vulgar" to the bottom one - "Andy Dick."

Picture Monty Python writing an unusually odd "Twilight Zone" episode directed by surrealist Luis Buñuel. Or just empty your mind of all sense: This is Rubber.

Circo is more like "The Smallest Show on Earth" than "The Greatest Show on Earth," the 1952 Oscar winner, but it does provide a look at a unique family and a disappearing way of life.

The script is blaring and obvious at all times, and in his second directorial effort, David Schwimmer doesn't have a clue how dull it is for the audience to endure scene after scene of anguish, crying and screaming matches

Queen To Play is ultimately about people's capacity for emotional and intellectual growth at any age.

Even after he manages to get out of the car and slowly starts recovering his memory, Wrecked keeps you guessing.

Hop gives us . . . a bunny who poops jelly beans. That idea doesn't fill you with seasonal joy? Neither will the rest of the movie.

Director Susanne Bier's chilly morality play is slow to get started, but once established, its three parallel stories comment provocatively on one another.

A spoof of you-know-what that's a lot less funny than it sounds.

Creepy spirits in old-timey dress, ear-stabbing sound cues, slamming doors and bloody handprints: The horror flick Insidious isn't scared to be trite.

A fun ride of a sci-fi thriller with terrific romantic chemistry between Jake Gyllenhaal and Michelle Monaghan.

A thoughtful and intelligent film, and should appeal to adventurous souls.

Anne Coesens, wife of the film's director, Olivier Masset-Depasse, gives a strong performance as Tania.

Writer-director John Gray, who created "Ghost Whisperer" on TV, is a son of Brooklyn whose love for the borough is as thick as a pint of Guinness, and he keeps finding fresh ways to present familiar plot points.

It's just that the script, which Ozon adapted from a play, is lightweight and better-suited to stage than screen.