The enigma of Reeves, sort of a human black hole on screen, works well in "The Matrix" but it drains the life from weepy romance.

Hamburger, like Police Academy and a dozen others before it, is essentially a basic-training sitcom with some softcore on the side. And like the films it imitates, Hamburger is an example of a perfectly good comic premise -- there's weirdness in modern food technology, bet your syntho-chicken nuggets there is -- botched by a script aimed at just that segment of the audience that is theoretically banned from attending R-rated films. [20 March 1986, p.B6]

It's as stupid, unimaginative and cheesy as the rest of them. [16 Aug 1993, p.C2]

Eye For an Eye is a Charles Bronson revenge flick with Sally Field in the Bronson role: It's Death Wish Gidget , and it's ridiculous. [12 Jan 1996, p.6G]

If the sounds of snapping forearms and ruptured jugular veins make your heart sing, then you won't want to miss Steven Seagal's latest gorefest -- Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. [17 July 1995, p.3C]

It's still quite sexy, but hardly erotic. The director, Zalman King, not only has seen entirely too many in the goofy Emmanuelle series, he appears not to know just how stupid those movies are and so has made little more than a knock-off of them. [4 May 1990, p.13]

Curiously (and contrary to what its ads would have you believe), Aspen Extreme is painfully discreet when it comes to sex. Whenever the characters engage in a romantic liaison, Hasburgh nervously cuts away right after the first kiss. It's as erotic -- or even romantic -- as skinny dipping in ice water. The skiing sequences are the movie's saving grace, exquisitely photographed and thrilling to watch. If you go, try to stick around until the avalanche scene near the end: It's impressive, and it's the only thing you'll remember. [26 Jan 1993, p.E2]

The devices in the script are more obvious than the special effects. [27 Apr 1990, p.G5]

In Celtic Pride, a comedy about sports fanaticism, two obsessive basketball followers want to see the underdog Boston Celtics win the NBA championship so badly that they kidnap the star player from the opposing team to make him miss the deciding game...Instead, they should've kidnapped the screenwriter and made him write a better movie. Celtic Pride is jaw-droppingly bad, a comedy so bereft of anything remotely humorous that you find yourself watching the extras in the background, desperately searching for something resembling entertainment. [19 Apr 1996, p.6G]

Oz the Great and Powerful is an oppressive, bloated bore.

It still stinks...It's just a miss. [21 Dec 1990, p.13]

It is a grand-looking, grandly empty pageant.

Mostly, though, the movie is a hack sitcom romance in which the big question is how long it will take Tom Selleck to confess his love for Nancy Travis, Mary's mom. [21 Nov 1990, p.D1]

The film is probably not evil incarnate, but it's so irritating you wish it -- and just about everyone in it -- would just shut up and get out of your room.

Insulting to anyone with a healthy sense of humor and the simple desire to laugh.

The River Wild is simply a procession of banal, dull situations that add up to nothing. [30 Sep 1994, p.G4]

The jokes? Passing gas, large breasts, schoolyard double entendre -- the usual run of recess humor. On the faces of most of the cast, one can clearly read despair, occasionally even irritation. They know: If you're much over 10, Police Academy 5 isn't going to keep you awake. [23 March 1988, p.C7]

There’s exactly one good scene in all of The Hangover Part III, a hilarious bit of business halfway during the end credits that reminds you what made the original film so good.

Unsurprisingly, relentlessly awful.

The production has a Disney-ish, well-scrubbed feel to it, and were it not for a sprinkling of obscenities would be G- rated. But Russkies is never quite right, even as pap. [06 Nov 1987, p.D5]

Man on a Ledge just made me think of an old Van Halen song: Jump.

A Middle Ages "Rocky" that spares no cliche in its unduly long, 2 1/4 hours.

Aggressively, defiantly stupid.

This odious, hypocritical movie marks director David Gordon Green's graduation into full-on hack.

The whole incoherent mess is sort of like a downbeat Gap ad, only longer and a lot more boring.

The idea, I suppose, is that love connects us all, even when it goes wrong. Fortunately, even love doesn't usually go quite so badly as this movie does.

Sommersby simply lacks momentum and sense. [05 Feb 1993, p.G5]

The sole mystery is the apparent collapse of Carpenter's skills as a storyteller. Prince of Darkness is shapeless and almost utterly lacking in rhythm, as if it had been slashed and then badly reassembled, like a Carpenter victim. [28 Oct 1987, p.D8]