Ignore the nonsensical story-centered on Mordoc, the vampire king, and his Onyx Tower of Eldritch-and stay on course with your barbarian, dwarf, cleric, or elf, traversing time and eerie environments.

The long missions require a lot of patience, but not as much as you needed to sit through the movie.

You won’t find any new gameplay features, but what you do get a skies-are-the-limit bevy of new eclectic characters, gaudy furniture, and fancy-pants neighborhoods.

This staggeringly polished first-person shooter (which also includes a Quake-style multiplayer option) will have even the most passive players sweating, er, bullets as they take control of an eight-foot-tall cyborg and greet intergalactic invaders with open arms-or open fire.

Odd adventure.

Thrones also gets points for cribbing Sam Fisher's stealth skills and using a whip-like weapon that will send "God of War" fans scurrying to gaming chat rooms to voice their displeasure with the similarities. Thankfully, the controversy is worth it for this energetic adventure.

The deadly combination of shopping for new murder gear and completing missions of mass destruction make this game more addictive than caramel-coated OxyContin.

This frantic shooter in the James Bond style will leave players visibly shaken…and definitely stirred.

The idea of battling enemies shaped like gelatin desserts and exploring environments resembling the paintings in your dentist’s office may sound like a bad acid flashback (or H.R. Pufnstuf rerun), yet it makes for an entertaining role-playing game.

During this age of sanitary smart-bomb warfare, this stunning first-person shooter gives you a taste of the good ol’ days of killing—you know, bamboo traps, bloody ambushes, villages under siege.

To hell with lame gunshot wounds and other gang violence. This game’s fatalities include creative beheadings and dismemberments that would make Hannibal green with envy.

Should the lyrically challenged feel left out, you can create your own brawler outfitted in ice courtesy of celebrity bling supplier Jacob the Jeweler. Better to look good than to—ow—feel good.

Though the one-player mode can get a bit stale, it's saner than picking fights at the local Teamsters hall.

Although it's dogged by Commodore 64–quality music and selective licensing agreements-Manchester United is simply Man Red-this new edition more than compensates with killer graphics, new tricks, and an improved dribbling system.

Play along to 30 songs-from simplistic beats like "We Will Rock You" to increasingly complex and annoying Latin polyrhythms-and add up to four sets of bongos to create a frenzied, unholy din suitable for ritual virgin sacrifice.

Instead of the usual push-button pugilism, throw punches using the analog stick—the direction and speed of the stick determine the swing; the trigger controls handle bobbing, weaving, and blocking.

Batman Begins isn't just a good game, it's two great games that play great together. When you're the caped crusader, it's an action game in the mold of "Splinter Cell"... Then, when you're driving the Batmobile, the game morphs into "Burnout," with you knocking cars off the road as you careen through traffic.

Triple Play may not be the smartest or most realistic baseball video game, but it’s definitely the best-looking one.

Ah, gay Paris. The sights, the sounds, the frothing hordes of time-traveling Japanese demons. Wait...what?...Minor complaints aside, Onimusha 3 is amazing. It breathes new life into a familiar genre and makes France, well, kinda cool.

Sometimes it’s tedious work, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that playing sky taxi isn’t rewarding.

Now if we ever come across a “deity wanted” ad in the Sunday classifieds, we’re ready.

Confused by the sometimes clunky camera angles? You can deliver your skull-smashing, thong-flashing high kicks in soothing slow motion.

If you do a good job, you might even get a free donut or two.

Vexx is a curiously grim exercise featuring gargantuan free-form levels fraught with danger and a surprisingly combat-heavy fighting system of combos, uppercuts, and vicious slashes.

Call of Duty 2 isn't a bold new game, but subtle improvements and new historical battles deliver a good reason to keep fighting.

Set the damage mode to high and tires explode, windshields shatter, and fenders crumple, all dependent on your lousy maneuvering.

It’s the perfect game for men who like speed and men who like thongs (and you know who you are). We can only imagine that Kinetica 2 will feature racing car women who secrete beer.

They’ve ditched realistic racing for a straight-forward adrenaline rush where amazing vehicular explosions are your reward spectacularly bad driving.