It may go down in history as the least necessary game of all time. [Feb 2005, p.113]

The slow tracks still outnumber the fast ones; here's hoping the downloadable packages include a few more peppy songs. [Dec 2004, p.132]

While this may at first seem like a great way to pit all of Capcom's best fighters against each other, in reality it makes for an unbalanced mess. [Jan 2005, p.102]

Actually manages to make use of the touch screen in an interesting, though not vital, manner. It's too bad that the rest of the game is awful. [Feb 2005, p.111]

A half-assed first try. Fight Club falls flat. [Jan 2005, p.100]

If you're looking for a faithful and compelling GTA adventure, you'll likely be disappointed. [Feb 2005, p.84]

Merely an average action game featuring an overly sexy protagonist and an entertaining combat engine held back by myriad game-breaking glitches. [Jan 2005, p.106]

Even if players know a song front to back, the pace is awkward and destroys a sense of rhythm. [Dec 2004, p.104]

The biggest problem is pacing. Simply put, Headhunter: Redemption is monotonous and dull. [Nov 2004, p.124]

Though it features a few original ideas, its execution is lackluster and uninspired compated to its competition. [Oct 2004, p.112]

As a trivia contest, The Guy Game is merely average. As social commentary, we weep for the future.

A delicate blend of "You Don't Know Jack," "Girls Gone Wild," and repeatedly smashing your head against a concrete wall. [Oct 2004, p.116]

Bomb-collection out the wazoo, a grim but bland story line, and everything old packaged as if it were new. [June 2003, p.75]

A plodding pace serves to slow down the showdown - something as simple as escaping from a steel cage is an extended, boring affair. [Sept 2004, p.81]

Something this bad defies description. [Sept 2004, p.95]

It's a dull action-heavy first-person shooter emphasizing run-and-gun play rather than tactical warfare - with some noticeable slowdown when enemies and friendlies clog the screen. [Aug 2004, p.96]

Say it with us: Poorly implemented gimmicks do not make for entertaining games. [July 2004, p.89]

There's also a full set of uninteresting urban ethnic stereotypes rendered in starkly dated graphics and loudmouth fake gangsta sound bites. [Mar 2004, p.85]

PT is not worth your time or money. Almost every aspect of the game feels rushed. [June 2004, p.91]

Surma's camera is a hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach. [Feb 2004, p.86]

This game is so bad that it's insulting to both the talent behind it and the poor bastards who'll end up playing it. [May 2004, p.87]

But, as usually happens when you try to put too many spices in your gumbo, the whole thing would up tasting like an armpit. [June 2004, p.91]

An affront to Mega Man fans, card-battle enthusiasts, and gamers everywhere. [June 2004, p.83]

Fails at almost every level. The framerate shudders like a dying horse. [June 2004, p.86]

The only thing unreal that awakened while playing this game was the uncontrollable urge to vomit. [May 2004, p.80]

A hateful creation, demanding more attention than a sugar-buzzed toddler and never showing you what you need to see, including anyone who might be shooting holes in your stomach.

Adding to the pain are the annoying escort and defense missions, the meaningless story line, and throwaway two-player modes. This is the rare sequel that gets it all wrong.

The popular Japanese anime gets butchered here, and the in-game characters seem to have been modeled after the developers' nose goblins. [Mar 2004, p.93]