A dull story. [Jan 2011, p.89]

Flimsy stuff for a steep 800pts. [Jan 2011, p.92]

Even the simplest of hops becomes a pad-hurling failure marathon. [Issue#232, p.87]

Our critical mistake: buying this. [June 2011, p.83]

The game's crass humour, repetitive gameplay and cultural indelicacy results in a depressing relic that should be consigned to the same draw[er] as that lightgun peripheral you never use anymore. [Oct 2014, p.77]

Seriously weak stuff. [Dec 2011, p.91]

Give this one a miss. [Oct 2011, p.95]

This is dull stuff. [Aug 2012, p.80]

The sense of goodwill you'll take into this Ico-aping adventure peters out pretty much instantly. [Aug 2015, p.79]

Pacifist AI? That's a first. And hopefully last. [Mar 2011, p.93]

Just forget this ever existed. It's honestly that bad, folks. [Apr 2007, p.61]

An absolute shambles, and a tragic waste of the brilliant original. [Aug 2013, p.71]

This is not "funny bad," it's just plain abysmal. [May 2014, p.79]

An unfunny, unplayable mishmash of fart jokes, stereotypes and wanton violence. [March 2012, p.101]

It's horribly executed. [July 2012, p.87]

It has aged terribly. [Oct 2014, p.80]

Abysmal. [Jan 2016, p.71]

Thought the movie sucked? Play the game. [June 2011, p.81]

These minigames are too clunky and slight. [Aug 2010, p.103]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

A game so poor one of its biggest challenges involved navigating the menus. Atrocious. [Feb 2014, p.74]

All 3D does is push heinous graphics closer to our eyes. You'd be safer rubbing dog poo into them. [Jan 2012, p.93]

Rancid. [June 2011, p.85]

Atrocious. [Jan 2013, p.83]

Simply awful. [Christmas 2011, p.89]

Whatever fun could have been had building contraptions to crush the undead is quickly removed by prissy pixel precision and gravity defying nonsense. Awful. [May 2012, p.90]