Further proof that games and movies should just stay the hell away from each other. [Dec 2016, p.83]

Dull missions, repetitive combat and dreary level design. [Oct 2010, p.87]

A disgrace. When double jumps aren't the worst part, something's gone terribly wrong. [Dec 2015, p.78]

Logic, as well as quality, seems to have taken an early night. [May 2015, p.83]

The game comes first, not the business model. [March 2014, p.85]

Even the combat is ancient and frustrating. [Aug 2015, p.78]

A poor game with next to no modes, excitement or stuff to recommend it. [July 2006, p.84]

At least you can wince through it in just 20 minutes. [Jan 2013, p.83]

Frustrating stealth sections, uninspired puzzling, and dull action make Agony gaming hell. [Aug 2018, p.73]

We've found free games on the internet better than this. [Aug 2006, p.82]

In short: would not recommend. [Christmas 2014, p.78]

Quotation forthcoming. [Nov 2010]

With so many great games out, don't waste time on this ugly, repetitive misery. [May 2011, p.97]

About as fun as mustard gas. [Jan 2012, p.93]

Let it hide. Do not seek. [Mar 2011, p.91]

A bland and uninteresting cash-in that's being peddled at a downright scary price point. [Sept 2016, p.70]

A hit on iOS, Chillingo's puzzler arrives on DSi with uglier looks, less content and a wheezing frame rate. [Christmas 2011, p.89]

Dump. [July 2012, p.87]

No more darts. Please. [Aug 2010, p.103]

The characters filling out the world are, frankly, insultingly stupid and voiced so badly it wouldn't have even been funny in the '90s.[Nov 2014, p.79]

Crude. [Oct 2012, p.87]

Every bit as dull as it sounds, and with sloppy controls to boot. [Issue#231, p.95]

Shallow scraps and a painful pace suck the fun out of what should have been a grand monster mash. [Sept 2015, p.69]

"Quotation Forthcoming"

My Little Hellspawn, more like. [June 2011, p.85]

Definitely avoid at this price. [Aug 2010, p.101]

Not really a game, but even as an application this is pretty flaky stuff. [Sept 2008, p.78]

Bland weapons and confusing course layout. [Sept 2010, p.101]

Archaic design spoils good ideas in this shoddy squandering of one of the hottest licenses going. [June 2013, p.74]

It's tedious stuff. [Christmas 2012, p.91]

Doesn't add much. Rather it subtracts. [July 2011, p.91]

Possibly the worst blotch on Sonic's record. [Feb 2015, p.73]

An absolute disaster of a videogame, on every conceivable level - it's a taint on the Nintendo name. [Oct 2015, p.78]

Grab the sick bags for this one. [Jan 2013, p.86]

A dull and uninspired platformer. [Christmas 2014, p.78]

[The dogs] never seem to say anything less than the most bile gland-stroking drivel. [Sept 2014, p.80]

Pixel imperfect. [Dec 2011, p.91]

The rotting corpse floating in this flight sim's pool is its free-to-play mechanic. [Sept 2014, p.80]

Yawn. [May 2013, p.77]

Knight Rider? Shite Rider, more like. [Jan 2014, p.63]

A dull story. [Jan 2011, p.89]

Flimsy stuff for a steep 800pts. [Jan 2011, p.92]

Even the simplest of hops becomes a pad-hurling failure marathon. [Issue#232, p.87]

Our critical mistake: buying this. [June 2011, p.83]

The game's crass humour, repetitive gameplay and cultural indelicacy results in a depressing relic that should be consigned to the same draw[er] as that lightgun peripheral you never use anymore. [Oct 2014, p.77]

Seriously weak stuff. [Dec 2011, p.91]

Give this one a miss. [Oct 2011, p.95]

This is dull stuff. [Aug 2012, p.80]

The sense of goodwill you'll take into this Ico-aping adventure peters out pretty much instantly. [Aug 2015, p.79]

Pacifist AI? That's a first. And hopefully last. [Mar 2011, p.93]

Just forget this ever existed. It's honestly that bad, folks. [Apr 2007, p.61]

An absolute shambles, and a tragic waste of the brilliant original. [Aug 2013, p.71]

This is not "funny bad," it's just plain abysmal. [May 2014, p.79]

An unfunny, unplayable mishmash of fart jokes, stereotypes and wanton violence. [March 2012, p.101]

It's horribly executed. [July 2012, p.87]

It has aged terribly. [Oct 2014, p.80]

Abysmal. [Jan 2016, p.71]

Thought the movie sucked? Play the game. [June 2011, p.81]

These minigames are too clunky and slight. [Aug 2010, p.103]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

This is just awful. [June 2009, p.80]

A game so poor one of its biggest challenges involved navigating the menus. Atrocious. [Feb 2014, p.74]

All 3D does is push heinous graphics closer to our eyes. You'd be safer rubbing dog poo into them. [Jan 2012, p.93]

Rancid. [June 2011, p.85]

Atrocious. [Jan 2013, p.83]

Simply awful. [Christmas 2011, p.89]

Whatever fun could have been had building contraptions to crush the undead is quickly removed by prissy pixel precision and gravity defying nonsense. Awful. [May 2012, p.90]

Wow. When WiiWare stinks, it stinks. Do not waste money on this. [Nov 2008, p.85]

An accurate introduction to the soul crushing world of a career in administration it may be, a fun way to pass the time it is not. [Sept 2009, p.82]

For anyone with egg-chasing enthusiasm this - the sport's first outing on current gen, no less - is painful like a second row standing on your delicates. [Apr 2015, p.79]

Laughable. [Dec 2013, p.69]

You really have to see it to believe it. That said: don't see it. [Oct 2008, p.84]

Forget Dante's Inferno, this is digital purgatory. [Aug 2010, p.103]

This is Simon Says meets Simon Creepily Rubs a Lady's Back. [Feb 2011, p.95]

The fighting system is more broken than Back Mountain. Avoid. [July 2013, p.75]

Some games are so bad they're good (for a laugh, at least). FlatOut 3 is just plain bad. [March 2012, p.102]

Here it is in black and white: this sucks. [Nov 2011, p.95]

Like England's current squad this is woeful, broken, and actually depressing. [Sept 2016, p.85]

At some point, From Software must have been aware that their game was literally unplayable, but by then it was too late and they had to grit their teeth and carry it through to its infuriating, fumbling conclusion. [Sept 2012, p.100]

The camera, controls, graphics, voice acting and combat aren't just broken - they're hilariously broken. [Oct 2013, p.77]

One of the worst WiiWares of all time. [Feb 2012, p.95]

Good god, this is bad. [Issue#232, p.89]