A formula that is very much out of date and bland by today’s standards.

And by God, when I find whoever told Vivendi about Fight Club and convinced them to make a game out of it, I’ll run their scrotum through a cheese grater.

So to sum up – it looks like a homebrew net Yaroze demo, sounds worse than a knackered monophonic mobile phone with the Crazy Frog ring tone on it, moves with all the fluidity and beauty of a giraffe trying to control a pedalo and is so shatteringly tedious and yawn-inducing you could mistakenly think you’ve contracted narcolepsy while playing it.

Falling stars was obviously designed with children in mind and I can happily say it's a fine game for them. The only problem is that one day, inevitably, a college art student will see it somewhere and it will spawn a cult, the likes of which we'd be a lot better off without.

Metal Heart: it’s like that funny looking pastry next to the apple Danish that looks delicious but I’m sure as hell not eating it!

Though it boasts a whole host of different modes in both the single and multiplayer game, as well as a variety of extras, including the ability to watch the two previously released music videos as many times as is necessary, in general it all feels far too much like it’s been thrown together in an attempt to squeeze the final drop of milk from the long dead and buried Crazy Frog cash cow.