By keeping everything good about the game locked away until players cough up the dough, Real Steel can be dismissed as terrible.

Every part of this game is terrible...Ace Banana frustrated me like few games ever have, and it’s rare to see a finished title that gets every important design feature completely wrong. Ace Banana manages it, though, and sinks lower than almost any game I’ve ever played.

After playing Sneakers, I don't think the package declaring it's "Only On Xbox" is such a bright idea. They'd be better off keeping that sad fact a secret and quietly dumping all remaining copies of the game next to the steaming pile of "E.T." 2600 cartridges rotting in the desert.

Nearly every aspect of its aesthetic was, paradoxically, both aggressively unpleasant and lazily innocuous. Its story switched between wild flights of hard-to-follow, drug-like fantasy and drudging resistance to do anything at all for long stretches of time. I’m certain that this work will connect with a very specific type of player, but it was like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Umbrella Corps has a few interesting ideas up its sleeve, but that’s all it has. Whenever it attempts to put those ideas into practice, they’re shoddily executed and laughably inept for a tactical shooter that rewards almost no tactics whatsoever.

Being interesting doesn’t change the fact that Mighty No. 9 is still a dismal failure.

Afro Samurai 2 sports questionable design, is broken in many ways, and is generally unworthy of anyone's time or money. I wouldn't even recommend this to the hardest of hardcore fans of the series. Why the developers and publishers let this game hit the market, I'll never know.

The Settlers: New Allies is the latest entry in a beloved and longstanding franchise, and carries an inherent advantage of starting with a greatly successful formula. However, there simply aren’t any exciting updates or formula explorations here. The buggy quality of the code at time of review and utterly flat narrative are salt in the wound, resulting in a game that does not boast a single positive reason to warrant a purchase.

Graphics aside, battling with the Unlimited Saga system is clunky and completely unintuitive. The battle engine features an insane potluck of disparate elements, almost as if Square-Enix took all of the purged leftovers from ten or fifteen other games and smashed the scraps together to create the unholy videogame sausage that it is.

Between the vomit-cam, the absurd level design, the serious lack of content and the simplistic gameplay, it's clear to see that the developers have created something that should never have left the drawing board.

There isn't much else to say about the four-hour experience. Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days would probably feel like a better game if many other games never happened, including its own prequel.

Utter crap.

Flawed in its conception, impoverished in its design, and thoroughly inept in its execution, Alpha Protocol is an unmitigated disaster

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II is just terrible.

Despite the fact that the game is only two or three hours long (depending on how lost a player gets) I found it to be absolutely unbearable. I became so bored with the lack of interesting things to see and do that I literally put a rubber band on my controller's left stick to keep her moving for long stretches of time, which gives an idea of how interactive Beyond Eyes is. I badly wanted to quit after the first thirty minutes, but I was determined to see where the story was going. Naturally, the ending was a total non-event and not worth the time and aggravation.

From the dull as dirt level design to the ugly graphics to the obscene amounts of backtracking required to power up all the characters' attacks, there's nothing at all to recommend about the game.

If the gameplay was incredibly fun, or the graphics fantastic, then perhaps playing basically the same mission over and over again for ten hours could have been bearable, or even mildly entertaining. Torrente, by comparison, was more like pulling teeth.

Don't get me wrong—I'm honestly a big fan of the Hyperdimension Neptunia games, but Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed! is the dullest and buggiest thus far.

Every time I came close to defeating it, my game would freeze up (no pun intended) and I'd have to reset. After half a dozen interruptions like this, I gave up.

Utter crap.

Funk of the Titans isn't likeable, though, and it manages to squander what little goodwill the premise engenders through terminally awful gameplay.

It's a technical disaster that fails to deliver any of the arcade bliss typically found in shoot 'em ups thanks to weak action, wimpy explosions and whacked controls. Leave this one in the digital bargain bin.

Bodycount is a bad game. A very bad game. It's overly simple, the setting is dry, and the controls don't even work all that well. There is quite literally nothing good about it.

No matter which aspect is touched on, I absolutely fail to see the point of Dead or Alive: Paradise.

Why an emphasis on replay value? Ugly, boring and stupid, NightCry isn't even entertaining on the first go. Being told that I had to repeat a major chunk of the story for the fifth time, particularly after two crashes, was where I had to draw the line. It's rare for me to review a game without finishing, but no matter what's past that damn island, I couldn't see it changing the fact that NightCry is the worst game I've played in years.

The graphics are abhorrent. The models are ugly, simplistic, and repetitive.

A horrible game manufactured with the creaky spare parts of a rusty genre along with fallen gears from the movie hype machine. This is the kind of game that's given away when you order a large pizza and get the second one for half price.

I can’t overstate how much every aspect of Where the Bees Make Honey feels like a student project, from the way it looks to its frequent lack of sound effects, to the banality of its dialogue and the painfully earnest diction with which Sunny’s voice actress delivers it. The fact that it doesn’t work properly, often locking up when I tried to navigate its menus with a mouse cursor, further underlines that this effort has no business being sold for actual money.