Amy should never have gotten off the drawing board and into production the way it is, and I genuinely regret that it didn't turn out better.

Getting a few things right just isn’t enough when the core of play — the platforming — is this troubled. Jet Kave Adventure was so awkward and problematic that I had to stop playing. When I see games with problems, I usually want to offer suggestions on how things could have been fixed, but the issues here run too deep — all I can say to the developers is that I wish them better luck next time.

Unfortunately, its current form, Z-Run seems like the early access or beta version of something that needs at least another six months in the oven.

It's sad when a gaming icon known for eschewing cliches gets mired in so many of them that he becomes part of the me-tooism he originally tried to combat.

This game is the epitome of the phrase ‘one-trick pony.' There's just nothing here. The hardest-core fans may want to dip in as a way to reminisce, but I'm guessing even those fans would be hard-pressed to find much value. If nothing else, I will say that the game made me want to watch the series, so that's something, I guess.

Oh, and in a final note to developers: please don't put pictures of your children in the end credits of your video games. It's not like it kept me from giving Psychotoxic a bad review—I just feel kind of guilty about it.

I'm not sure just why Activision was in such a rush to release the game that they didn't let Luxoflux actually finish it.

It’s not even like Jedi Power Battles is the most beloved game from its era. Why release it in this state, and an even better question is, why release it at all? If there were at least new graphics, or if they bundled the GameBoy version as a bonus extra, I could at least rate it a little higher, but no. This is not the droid that anyone is looking for.

It's a stale, ugly revisiting of a genre that should be put deep in the ground, with no story or aesthetic styling to redeem it, a hollow exploration of ground that's already been trodden flat.

Ghostbusters is an abysmal piece of garbage. It runs poorly, it sounds terrible, it has awful writing and it’s just a drag to play.

Sweet Pea just doesn’t have it. The art style is winningly crude and there are some thrills to be found in vaulting a pea through the air while escaping a hideous boss monsters. Sadly, those fleeting pleasures simply can’t make up for all of the awkward, frustrating gameplay that is most of the experience. Sweet Pea‘s problems run deep into its design, and it’s too bad that the developers weren’t able to get a better handle on things before launch.

The most positive thing I can say about Fallout 76 is that a train wreck of this magnitude might finally yank Bethesda – a company that gets away with too much – back to reality. Maybe it’s finally time to update that engine. Maybe it’s not a good idea to slap the Fallout name onto a game that isn’t fit for release and expect it to go over well.

Soda Drinker Pro is just a weird project by a weird guy, who somehow got people to pay for his inside joke. A little research shows this title was created in one day by someone who – wait for it – wanted a soda. Me? I just wanted to turn it off and walk away from it forever.

Fairytale Fights would have been starkly disappointing as an XBLA or PSN download-only title, but as a retail game taking up shelf space, it's absolute failure.

I could bring up a dozen more problems, major and minor, with the game, but what's the point? Montague's Mount doesn't have interesting puzzles or a structure that ties them into a coherent work about mental illness, despite its heavy-handed announcement of that intent. I respect the aim, but the execution is terrible.

In the end, gamers are all just a bunch of people sitting in front of a television holding a controller, so simulation games must be judged on their ability to make gamers feel like they're performing an action within the limitations of the technology. Cabela's African Safari's poor controls, design choices, and graphics keep this immersion from ever happening.

I swear, I felt my IQ drop as I was playing the game, the sounds of brain cells popping melding nicely with the oh-so-bland cock-rock soundtrack that seems to be a requisite feature of sophomoric extreme sports tie-ins.

It's so overflowing with contrived gimmicks to (presumably) add to the depth and longevity to the game that its weak core gameplay sticks out like a sore thumb.

Its castle isn't worth exploring, nor are its mysteries worth examining.

I like the idea of taking a fish on an unconventional journey, but Koi isn't atmospheric or relaxing enough to be a chill game, and the gameplay isn't substantial or clever enough to make it a puzzler.

Coming from seasoned developers who’ve turned out great games like Just Cause and Mad Max, the quality of this brand-new IP is incredibly disappointing. I hope that it continues to be patched and improved, because the current state of affairs can’t possibly showcase the vision Avalanche must have originally intended.

Controls are just too important to overlook in a game, and Astral Traveler’s result in frustrating play. Add in questionable level designs that slow down the ship too often, and the result is that any potential enjoyment is sucked away. My younger self would have been disappointed, but would have kept playing. My adult self knows better, and has moved on to more enjoyable endeavors.

So once again, Traveler's Tales gets the Lego right, only this time they screw up everything but.

I am thoroughly disappointed with She Sees Red. It’s an irrelevant, irritating adventure that is unlikely to please even serious fans of the FMV genre.

While I found the subject matter and the characters to be off-putting and offensive, the real killer here is the sloppy, cumbersome gameplay that, even if one thinks the poor attempts at humor come off as amusing, will render the drive to play it obsolete. The five hours I spent playing Milanoir was a miserable, groan inducing slog that I don’t wish upon anybody. It may be an homage to films of the past, but what it is for me was truly, truly awful.

Party Hard is not a game that rewards players who take chances or attempt to learn the layout of levels, since the developers randomize the stages after each failure. Trap elements, items, and victim gathering points change every time. There's no value in practicing techniques when there's no guarantee players will have a chance to use them.

Excessive Trim has great concepts, but falls short in execution. Solid graphics and a buzzsaw spacecraft can’t save it from feeling more like an extended tech demo than a fully-realized experience.

For children who are fans of Mysterious Cities of Gold, it’s likely a serviceable companion piece. For everybody else out there, this game isn’t worth the time.

This is not the worst game ever made, but it's so inept at so many different points that it inspires more anger than a genuinely awful game.

I mean, the game's already five years past being relevant, it would have killed them to take another six months to make it decent?

Syndrome might offer a beautiful ship to look at, but it’s a buggy mess that fails to get the essentials right. This lovely ship can’t make up for an ugly everything else.

If playing Jaws Unleashed has taught me one thing about game design, it's that if you're going to put a single fun thing in a game it's best to put it right up front where people can see it, and hopefully trick them into thinking that the entire game is fun.

I can’t make too much of the annoyances of the poorly-tuned jumping or terrible collision model. Even if The Secret Mine had rock-solid code, that foundation would be supporting an edifice of sand. Toby: The Secret Mine adds nothing of value to Limbo’s formula and accomplishes far less artistically than its progenitor. Even if it were better to play, there would still be no reason to play it.

Wayward Manor may be the worst game I've played this year.

In short, Alien Rage just isn't very good. If it had nailed the combat, all its other flaws could perhaps be forgiven—but it didn't, so they can't. It's a terrible thing to say, but in a game stuffed to the gills with Xenomorphs, the most alien thing in the entire package is any sense of enjoyment whatsoever.

That was the end of Trulon for me, and I’d have to describe it, in total, as being the videogame equivalent of an ellipsis — it’s just an empty pause with no conclusion. Everything good about it is squandered by poor craftsmanship, and in its current state it should be avoided at all costs.

I did not like anything about Wasted. Neither its humor nor its gameplay are adequate to support the irritation of mastering the first dungeon or the tedium of blasting through the subsequent four. I spent many hours beating this game out of sheer spite and didn’t enjoy a single minute of it. Reader, do not repeat my error.

It's impossible to tell where the fault lies with Call of Duty: Black Ops Declassified. Did Activision force Nihilistic to rush it out the door? Did Nihilistic simply put out the bare minimum effort? Is this half-hearted experience exactly what Activision wanted? Regardless of the reasons behind it, what we've ended up with is a completely wasted opportunity to bring some heavy firepower to the Vita.

I cannot overstate how pointless and infuriating Castle of Heart feels to play.

Like any scientific breakthrough or new invention, Hydrophobia does represent a significant achievement in its own right. We're just going to have to wait until someone does anything worthwhile with it.

I'm not that witty, but I am pretty vulgar—as a result, all I can say is that if Aliens: Colonial Marines had been fished out of a Marine's colon during emergency surgery it wouldn't surprise me in the least.

It portrays the killing of specific, theoretically real (in that they're virtual stand-ins for the actual soldiers that fought in the war) people as nothing more than a gruesome shooting gallery...At some point everyone has to decide when enough is enough. And now I have.

NeverDead is garbage, and there is no good reason to ever play it.

The best twin-stick shooters made up for their lack of 3D by adding personality, gameplay variety, and over-the-top ludicrousness. Narco Terror decided to add the third dimension, but then left out anything that might make someone want to play. An interesting choice, but not a worthwhile one.

Otomedius Excellent shouldn't be worth anyone's time. Beyond the overall badness of the gameplay, the whole thing just feels incredibly cynical.

I slogged onward in the hopes for some spark, but at no point does the game get better, more polished, or less uninteresting. Bloodforge is just one meaningless fight after another, listening to the lines of banal dialogue and post-mortem one-liners.

Malnazidos is awful in every way a game can be. I’ve played countless free titles with better controls and combat. The Unreal Engine offers tutorials on how to make games that play better than this in just a couple of hours. Literally the only good thing I can say about it is that when zombies are shot in the head a few times, their skulls explode in a decently disgusting manner. When that’s the only positive a game offers, it’s safe to bypass it entirely.

Even if Extinction had released as a ten or fifteen dollar digital download, I still wouldn’t recommend it to anyone – life’s too short and filled with genuinely great games to waste on terrible experiences like this one. Given that it released at full price, however, it almost feels like a deliberate and calculated insult towards any game that ever earned its price tag. It is an aggressively terrible game that should be avoided at all costs.

Immortal’s pursuit of the hardcore label speaks to a certain presumptiveness in its design – that its impenetrable nature will be offset by a community looking for new challenges to overcome and new mysteries to unravel. Dark Souls got away with that approach because every aspect of it was so meticulously fine-tuned. Immortal’s extreme difficulty only highlights how fundamentally its ideas don’t run together. If there’s anything worse than a bad game, it’s a hostile bad game.

Bombshell is a failure in every meaningful way, and feels like a barely-functional Alpha build rather than the finished product it's supposed to be.

By keeping everything good about the game locked away until players cough up the dough, Real Steel can be dismissed as terrible.

Every part of this game is terrible...Ace Banana frustrated me like few games ever have, and it’s rare to see a finished title that gets every important design feature completely wrong. Ace Banana manages it, though, and sinks lower than almost any game I’ve ever played.

After playing Sneakers, I don't think the package declaring it's "Only On Xbox" is such a bright idea. They'd be better off keeping that sad fact a secret and quietly dumping all remaining copies of the game next to the steaming pile of "E.T." 2600 cartridges rotting in the desert.

Nearly every aspect of its aesthetic was, paradoxically, both aggressively unpleasant and lazily innocuous. Its story switched between wild flights of hard-to-follow, drug-like fantasy and drudging resistance to do anything at all for long stretches of time. I’m certain that this work will connect with a very specific type of player, but it was like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Umbrella Corps has a few interesting ideas up its sleeve, but that’s all it has. Whenever it attempts to put those ideas into practice, they’re shoddily executed and laughably inept for a tactical shooter that rewards almost no tactics whatsoever.

Being interesting doesn’t change the fact that Mighty No. 9 is still a dismal failure.

Afro Samurai 2 sports questionable design, is broken in many ways, and is generally unworthy of anyone's time or money. I wouldn't even recommend this to the hardest of hardcore fans of the series. Why the developers and publishers let this game hit the market, I'll never know.

The Settlers: New Allies is the latest entry in a beloved and longstanding franchise, and carries an inherent advantage of starting with a greatly successful formula. However, there simply aren’t any exciting updates or formula explorations here. The buggy quality of the code at time of review and utterly flat narrative are salt in the wound, resulting in a game that does not boast a single positive reason to warrant a purchase.

Graphics aside, battling with the Unlimited Saga system is clunky and completely unintuitive. The battle engine features an insane potluck of disparate elements, almost as if Square-Enix took all of the purged leftovers from ten or fifteen other games and smashed the scraps together to create the unholy videogame sausage that it is.

Between the vomit-cam, the absurd level design, the serious lack of content and the simplistic gameplay, it's clear to see that the developers have created something that should never have left the drawing board.

There isn't much else to say about the four-hour experience. Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days would probably feel like a better game if many other games never happened, including its own prequel.

Utter crap.

Flawed in its conception, impoverished in its design, and thoroughly inept in its execution, Alpha Protocol is an unmitigated disaster

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II is just terrible.

Despite the fact that the game is only two or three hours long (depending on how lost a player gets) I found it to be absolutely unbearable. I became so bored with the lack of interesting things to see and do that I literally put a rubber band on my controller's left stick to keep her moving for long stretches of time, which gives an idea of how interactive Beyond Eyes is. I badly wanted to quit after the first thirty minutes, but I was determined to see where the story was going. Naturally, the ending was a total non-event and not worth the time and aggravation.

From the dull as dirt level design to the ugly graphics to the obscene amounts of backtracking required to power up all the characters' attacks, there's nothing at all to recommend about the game.

If the gameplay was incredibly fun, or the graphics fantastic, then perhaps playing basically the same mission over and over again for ten hours could have been bearable, or even mildly entertaining. Torrente, by comparison, was more like pulling teeth.

Don't get me wrong—I'm honestly a big fan of the Hyperdimension Neptunia games, but Hyperdimension Neptunia U: Action Unleashed! is the dullest and buggiest thus far.

Every time I came close to defeating it, my game would freeze up (no pun intended) and I'd have to reset. After half a dozen interruptions like this, I gave up.

Utter crap.

Funk of the Titans isn't likeable, though, and it manages to squander what little goodwill the premise engenders through terminally awful gameplay.

It's a technical disaster that fails to deliver any of the arcade bliss typically found in shoot 'em ups thanks to weak action, wimpy explosions and whacked controls. Leave this one in the digital bargain bin.

Bodycount is a bad game. A very bad game. It's overly simple, the setting is dry, and the controls don't even work all that well. There is quite literally nothing good about it.

No matter which aspect is touched on, I absolutely fail to see the point of Dead or Alive: Paradise.

Why an emphasis on replay value? Ugly, boring and stupid, NightCry isn't even entertaining on the first go. Being told that I had to repeat a major chunk of the story for the fifth time, particularly after two crashes, was where I had to draw the line. It's rare for me to review a game without finishing, but no matter what's past that damn island, I couldn't see it changing the fact that NightCry is the worst game I've played in years.

The graphics are abhorrent. The models are ugly, simplistic, and repetitive.

A horrible game manufactured with the creaky spare parts of a rusty genre along with fallen gears from the movie hype machine. This is the kind of game that's given away when you order a large pizza and get the second one for half price.

I can’t overstate how much every aspect of Where the Bees Make Honey feels like a student project, from the way it looks to its frequent lack of sound effects, to the banality of its dialogue and the painfully earnest diction with which Sunny’s voice actress delivers it. The fact that it doesn’t work properly, often locking up when I tried to navigate its menus with a mouse cursor, further underlines that this effort has no business being sold for actual money.

I'm sure there's a small cadre of super-hardcore math majors into intricate medieval costume drama and puzzling out the mysteries of Generation of Chaos, but I'm not one of them.