What was the point of this game? If it’s a game about cats, why is there so few typical cat activities? And if it’s a game about humans – why do they act so unnatural? It feels as if the writer’s knowledge about human interaction was all book-learned. [Issue#265, p.61]

It’s easy to rip into Wanted: Dead. Basically, everything about this game is bad, except for the bloody finishing moves. Which, incidentally, were the main thing touted by the trailers. [page 58]

After the WWII ended, there was a rise of certain phenomena among indigenous population of the Pacific, called “cargo cult”. It feels like the very same cultists were in charge of Diablo Immortal: it has superficial resemblance to the real thing, but it lacks any real substance. [Issue#260, p.36]

It’s almost as if there was a lottery among indie developers, with the grand prize being the right to publish their game under Hiroyuki Ito’s name (but without his oversight). Otherwise, we can’t fathom how something like Dungeon Encounters could come to be. [Issue#259, p.61]

Ridiculous story, shallow gameplay and poor graphics don’t leave Werewolf: The Apocalypse – Earthblood any chance. The only imaginable reason to play it – is to remind yourself how bad and absurd games could get. [Issue#252, p.70]

Deep Descent ended up hitting the rock bottom. Instead of breathtaking underwater adventures we’ve got a very basic shooter. [Issue#251, p.64]

Willy Morgan tries to ride the wave of nostalgia for old-school adventures like Broken Sword, but the comparison is clearly not in its favor: characters lack charisma, and the story isn’t even close to being intriguing. [Issue#247, p.55]

Corruption 2029 is basically Road to Eden sans cute anthropomorphic animals, interesting lore or meaningful upgrades. [Issue#244, p.53]

Despite all Suzuki’s claims that this series is his life’s work, Shenmue 3 feels more like a quick cash-in. [Issue#242, p.62]

For the first few hours you’ll be locked in the “combo-block-dodge-ability” cycle, but as hero unlocks additional powers, more and more elements are dropped, until all that’s left is the use of abilities. [Issue#242, p.65]

No matter what you do, it’s the RNG that will ultimately decide whether you win or lose. Instead of playing Warsaw, you might as well just roll the dice and punch yourself in the face every time it doesn’t show six. [Issue#241, p.55]

The car physics are more appropriate for a “shoebox on linoleum” simulator than a Dakar racing game. [Issue#234, p.59]

Ten years ago no one could think Syberia would ever get a Part III. Second game nicely wrapped up the story, mammoths were found, we’ve got closure – what’s more to talk about? But for Microids the Syberia series is probably the biggest and best thing among its meager assets. So, want it or not, Kate Walker had to have another adventure. [Issue#220, p.64]

Do you know why grand-strategy masters, Paradox Interactive, do not mess with XX century after World War I? That’s because the world becomes so complex afterwards, you can’t adequately emulate it. You can still focus on a single aspect, sure (for example, if you choose war – you get Hearts of Iron), but all-around emulation? That’s going to be a fiasco. And Realpolitics proves that point with its every last byte. [Issue#218, p.57]

Double Dragon 4 is a perfect solution for people who want to relive every bad design feature of 20th century arcade games. Feel once again that surge of emotions when enemies hit you from offscreen, or when you die during a clunky but merciless platforming section. Not to mention the authentic earworm music. [Issue#217, p.85]

Turns out GSC Game World was too busy making shooters to keep up with all the advancements in RTS control schemes that were made in last ten years. Perhaps in 2001 it felt fun to micromanage each soldier, but it’s 2016 now, and that amount of micro is welcome only in games like StarCraft 2, where you have no more than a few dozen units at a time. In Cossacks 3, however, battles are of much greater scale, and player should have been provided with adequate tools. [Issue #213, p.58]

It’s obvious that TallTech studio looked at first two Fallouts for inspiration, but all they’ve managed to copy is poor visuals. Character progression is poorly designed and story is linear: whether you want it or not, your character will gain companions, surrender and lose the entire inventory precisely when scriptwriter wills him to. [Issue#212, p.52]

Hopefully, Inafune put kickstarter millions to good use, like buying a nice juicy steak for his dog or a fancy gold toilet for his new mansion. It’s hard to believe that even a quarter of backers money was actually spent on Mighty No. 9, since it looks like a bad game from 90-s, and plays even worse. It’s especially shameful since nowadays an indie team can make a good platformer in just a few months and only for a fraction of this sum. [Issue#211, p.63]

Points you earn by genocide may be spent on upgrades that make your machine gun stronger or give allied infantry a bit more health. It’s not much, but it makes time spent with IS Defense a bit better. Still, it’s a lot better not to spend time on it at all. [Issue#209, p.77]

Biggest problem of AG isn’t the story or lackluster graphics, but its incredibly poor AI. Should you cause an alarm, every guard on the level will blindly run to that spot, letting you shoot them one by one without even changing position. At some point, you start to wonder – why bother trying to stealth around if it’s so much easier to just kill everyone? [Issue#209, p.63]

To add insult to injury, we’re towing a city with thousands of colonists, and it’s paramount to build them all kinds of morale-improvement buildings. They’re the last hope of humanity – and they will get depressed and start to rebel if they don’t get a new VR entertainment center! Too bad it’s not an option to just hurl these guys straight into the nearest star. [Issue#208, p.50]

There are RPG elements here – as you go on, you can increase your health, energy, armor or gun power – but honestly, they should’ve been scrapped from the get go. Any resources spent on them would be better used on balancing the game or making non-cringeworthy animations. [Issue#206, p.73]

This should go down in textbooks on marketing as an example of how you can monetize the death of your own kid. [Issue#206, p.72]

Looks like all Codemasters’ effort went into making Fellowship of Evil look like a game. After watching a trailer you might think “Hey, it’s not Overlord that I remember, but it might be a good action-RPG”. But once you launch it, you realize that it’s not a game – it’s a cardboard cutout with zero gameplay value. [Issue#204, p.81]

Seafaring is passable, but on-foot exploration and dialogues evoke a broad range of feelings, from pity to loathing. As for voice-acting, well, it’s sure to cause fits of nervous laughter. [Issue#204, p.88]

The only thing SOMA does well is monsters. If Frictional took a lesson from Alien: Isolation and let them roam the entire map, the game would’ve had a chance to shine. Alas, every encounter is totally predictable, so they fail to sufficiently spice SOMA’s totally bland and predictable story. [Issue#203, p.77]

Comeback of a respectable series made be a respectable company – what could go wrong? Turns out, a lot. [Nov 2015, p.70]

While everything of interest is taking place on the streets, we stay indoors and clean up stuff. [Sept 2015, p.83]