Do not bring children to this movie unless you want them to have nightmares for weeks.

An assault on brain cells.

A black comedy that never gets black enough to inspire Farrelly-style decadence.

Does this mean that Sabotage is a rich, morally complex story about the gray zone between good and evil? Hell, no. It just means it is a bungle.

Silly teen thriller.

Flawed at its very core.

Another droning formulaic thriller.

Has even less directorial initiative than it has romantic spark.

It's just another bad horror film with inadequate young actors chased around a big house by something.

Merely reconfigures the same predictable gross-out jokes, sentimental platitudes, and decorative sex that figure into half the screenplays in circulation.

A sequel from hell.

In the end, Malena is an unlikable and foul farce, unworthy of Tornatore's previously gentle touch.

The film is Travolta's baby, but indifference and boredom is everywhere.

Atrocious comedy.

Valentine simply mines the same tired, predictable slasher-movie vein as everything else he's (Blanks) done thus far. Send this one back unopened.

So you'll laugh during Big Momma's House -- but the laughs are so negligible you'll probably forget them before you get to the parking lot.

The animation is only marginally better than the TV show, which means it stinks, and the story is pretty trite.

Lost its chance to be anything but an endurance test for the viewer.

There isn't a moment of wonder or poetry in its very long 69 minutes.

An almost total waste of time.

Kids -- may like this movie. But kids like green ketchup, so what do they know?

In the running for worst film of the year... and it's only April.

If you're looking for something child-appropriate that'll actually keep the little darlings awake for two hours straight, you'd do better...and cheaper...to just stay at home with the Discovery Channel.

God-awful.

Where's the comedy?

I see Austin Powers as Myers' desperate cry for help -- a plea to stop him before he does schtick again.

This reprehensible and deeply unfunny film is obviously critic-proof.

Insufferably boring, culturally hegemonic, and profoundly ugly.