Here both Greenaway's strengths and weaknesses are on show as he toys with the viewers' capacity to ingest blurring metaphors and convoluted content.

A totally unneeded sequel which does nothing whatsoever for the legacy of the original tale.

By the time the deathwish duo embark into mountainous terrain, you'll want to hand them a copy of Thelma & Louise's road map —with clearly marked directions to the cliff.

Sometimes this kind of comedy just goes too far into rubbishness to make it back.

Dump thriller which trivialises the subject matter.

The Native American people have suffered any number of indignities over the years. But they haven't, until now, suffered Adam Sandler.

Pointless re-make. One of (the once great) Carpenter's worst.

It may occasionally shock a laugh from you, but between those moments your face will be a rictus of horror.

The first film had its moment of charm, and the cast were good enough to overcome the downright stupidity of the storyline, but this is simply a dreary bore that takes advantage of a terrific cast by moving them about on the screen without giving them anything to do. One long yawn.

You should feel sorry for the memory of Julia - whose swansong this is - but actually it's Van Damme who commands sympathy.

Indeed, the only bright spot in the film is Amanda Plummer — the wacky object of Robin Williams' desire in The Fisher King — with a brief but memorable cameo here as a futuristic nun who swears like a trooper, carries around a rifle and thinks turning the other cheek is kicking a guy in the balls.

Largely, real emotions are substituted here by people swearing and trying to kill each other, which adds up to a shamefully dehumanising piece of work.

Fails on both an emotional and comedic level.

Conceptually, this flop has potential for the satirisation of military responses to an alien threat, but it ís wasted in a loose script whose weaknesses are all the more glaring for the film's inability to exploit the power of absurdity.

You'd think it'd be hilarious. Think again.

It plays a lot like a Porky's holiday comedy for the first half, and then the seagoing killer fish learn to fly and big rubber toothy things terrorise the survivors.

One of the problems is that King usually writes about cliche subjects so well that you don’t notice the hackneyed aspects of his books, and so when all the character detail, precise backgrounding and elaborate plot setting-up mechanisms are pruned away, all you get is a dumb TV movie with characters doing insanely stupid things to prolong the agony.

The world can only hope The Swamp Thing's abode is now bulldozered and turned into a shopping mall.

Bottom-rung dreck.

A clunky, lumbering sequel that, like its masked protagonist, has no redeeming features.

The one saving grace is Lloyd, who gives a terrific and lively portrayal despite some horribly sentimental lines. He is the movie's guiding star, a lone bright light in a string of dud bulbs. Otherwise, beware.

An early but strong contender for worst movie of 2008.

Despite the always-good Harvey Keitel, this is just embarassing sci-fi nonsense.

A twist-burdened techno-thriller that would be by-the-numbers if it could count.

Dire, B-movie cheese throughout, this gives no clue that Pitt - or anyone else involved - could ever have a career in Hollywood.

Toying with themes too serious for it and stars too big for it, this fantasy is incalculably less than the sum of it's parts.

A horrific waste of time, money and oxygen.

Slap a restriction order on yourself and don't come within ten paces of this hideous concoction.

Former teen idol and sometime rap artist Vanilla Ice made his movie debut in this lightweight tale of young love that serves best as a cinematic interpretation of the photo romances much revered by pre-pubescent pinup magazines.

Depressing and trivial.

Reeves and Ryder work very hard to make Destination Wedding work, but deeply unlikeable characters and a clunky script means there’s no escaping the fact it’s a disappointing misfire.

Like a parody of a Jason Statham film, without any of the joy that might imply. This Working Man just doesn’t work.

It's bad enough to ban on purely artistic grounds.

There are atmospheric shots of billowing thunder clouds, priests on cliff tops, bloody stigmata and moody eclipses, but it all amounts to nothing.

However, it is probably the screenplay that is most at fault, and while "Demolition Man" director Brambilla again makes things look okay, his hands are tied with flat dialogue, zero comedy and not much caper, either.

A waste of space.

What sounded like a bad idea before it started shooting, proves such an atrocity that it makes her last effort, The Beverly Hillbillies, look almost Oscar-worthy.

Director Blanks delivers a wholly pedestrian feature debut in this by-numbers teen horror flick that could give you the impression Scream never really happened.

An obsequious, ring-kissing portrait of the current US administration, dressed in gauche, glossy reality-TV clothing. And yet somehow still better than Rush Hour 3.

Self-serving, storyless tripe.

Godsend is based on an intriguing premise. Sadly, it's mangled into an Omen-lite disaster area, thanks to a script torn between making a moral point about cloning and cheap shocks.

The Hustle buckles under the overbearing weight of its own vulgarity. Avoid the dirty rubble by all means. An embarrassment to the heist genre, an insult to all existing comedies, a disgrace to feminism.

A Twilight pastiche with all the wit you'd expect from the makers of "Scary Movie" and "Meet The Spartans."

Brilliantly terrible or terribly terrible depending on your viewpoint.

Poor script, poor direction and poor performances mean a dismal 70's disaster movie is the result.

A preposterous premise that never makes sense. A tedious thriller that offers no thrills. An A-list cast reduced to C-list material. Piers Morgan. We can but pray that scientists invent a procedure to remove the memory of ever watching this film in the first place.

Globe-trotting but not adventurous, action-packed but not remotely exciting, utterly overstuffed and completely paper-thin. Nuke it from orbit.

Another soulless, pointless rip-off, this doodles around the plot parameters of John Carpenter's Halloween movies with only Pleasence, who died during production, and Carpenter's theme tune as links to the series' beginnings.

On paper, fine; on celluloid, a Rocky Horror Show of nightmarish proportions.

Double the dads, but half the laughter.

As a subversive take on Milne, it’s achingly banal. As a rural horror film, it’s more inept than the most wretched Wrong Turn sequel. As a would-be cult classic, it commits the ultimate sin of being no fun at all. This bear is sh*t in the woods.

Limp jokes, bad chemistry and the least believable onscreen fraternal bond make for a very lacklustre viewing experience. Even a late appearance from Christopher Walken can't save the day.

A needless threequel. Note to director: avoid 'rise of the' titles.

Safe when it's ripping genre jokes word for word, this pallid pastiche never goes for the jugular, the heart, or any other part of the audience, for that matter. It breezes by like the tamest of ghosts, almost unnoticeable.

Blue Iguana grates on pretty much every level, a misjudged hodge-podge of ill-defined characters, tired filmmaking licks and an air of general unpleasantness. It also contains one of the worst shootouts in recent memory.

Disappointing.

Dismal, cliché-ridden stuff.

The three stories do not make a whole in this disappointing arthouse film.

All-in-all a fairly unpleasant experience for most audiences.

The cinematic equivalent of being teabagged without your consent.

Boring and Silly, Ronin is a better example of Frankenheimer's direction.

Absolute tosh. A ridiculous, unerringly tedious plot is weighed down by listless performances from a cast who clearly wished they were somewhere else, despite the sumptuous locations.

A cool idea rapidly falls apart. A completely missed opportunity.

Bad film fans will think Christmas has come early, everyone else should ask for the receipt.

Predictably awful fourth installment.

About as funny as contracting cancer.

Technically competent, but essentially a fantasy movie that mistakes industrial light for magic. As dragon movies go, Dragonslayer, Reign Of Fire and even Dragonheart can rest easy.

Lacking a single honest laugh, this is shoddy by comparison with the other Scary Movie sequels… which throws it in a pit with Transylmania, Breaking Wind and Stan Helsing.

The first film to be based on a line of toys, this might not be the last, but it'd take something awful to replace it as the worst.

Smug and lazy comedy that barely raises a chuckle.

Significantly worse than the rest of the series, this film is one of the worst flops in recent cinema.

Ugly in more ways than one.

Hogan proved himself a better actor when pretending that American wrestling is a real sport, and the production team that brought you the Mannequin movies can add another excruciating dud to their CV.

This deeply disappointing new Fear Street instalment leans too hard into worn-out tropes and excessive gore, at the expense of fun, engaging characters or any genuine scares.

Rubbish. Irish eyes will be hard pressed to grimace, let alone smile.

As it is, an unbearably irritating, shouty, gurning Affleck takes the anaemic script and injects it with strychnine.

The bastard offspring of a charmless romcom and a toothless political satire.

Incompetent and mostly just quite boring, Assassin Club doesn’t even have the good grace to be so-bad-it’s-good. Rough, rough stuff.

Waters' attempt to reach a bigger market sees him lose his own unique identity.

An unfunny, unfocused sub-SNL baseball comedy that makes the likes of Joe Dirt and Deuce Bigalow seem vintage.

Van Sant's film is cold and the gallery of eccentrics merely come across as vulgar caricatures.

A bizarre, hopelessly muddled fantasy that's likely to induce utter bewilderment in its target audience.

It's incredible that a film could be so closely patterned on Carpenter's still-thrilling original movie and yet be so stupid, unscary and plodding as Halloween 4 is.

A turkey in crow’s clothing.

The lesson to be learned here is that movies are far more complex than music videos. Most videos require little or no thought of plot, structure or characterisation, but look great. Which is probably why Williams is so good at them.

Setting out to be a killer-cop satire for the social media age, the result makes Paul Blart look like Taxi Driver. Unfollow immediately.

Don't bother.

Unsurprisingly this film is weak. The final film in a weak trilogy, filled with weak characters, who have weak dialogue and feature in a, you guessed it, weak plot. Thankfully Travolta's next film would be Pulp Fiction giving his career a well-needed boost, it's a shame the same couldn't said for Allie.

Okay, a couple of sniggers sneak out, but on the whole the effect is stone cold.

Long-delayed. Arguably not long enough.

A lowest common denominator spoof.

A toothless, tedious farce which deserves to sink without a trace.

In this stereotypically-fuelled moralistic gangster movie, the plot is poor, the acting worse and standing at three hours, proves about three hours too long.

This hastily-produced sequel ignores the dreamstalking premise that had made A Nightmare on Elm Street successful and reverts to the overfamiliar possession story.

Stereotype-based comedy from Eddie Murphy in a variety of fat suits is just not enough to make a decent film.

Unengaging, uninspired and unwatchable. A criminal waste of time and talent.

Though Species II is far from serious and aimed squarely at the hairy-palmed, it really didn't need to be quite this rotten.

But for all her slinky, undead-chic looks, Beckinsale can't carry the film on curves alone and there's not much else here worthy of attention. Evolution's action sequences are as horribly bungled as its plot, resulting in a string of repetitive confrontations that feel toothless even by the last movie’s standards.