As it stands, Vampires of the Velvet Lounge is exactly what it seems to be: a messy, mildly entertaining vampire movie that works best when you’re only half watching it.

Dolly is a miss of considerable proportions.

Either the twist needed to come earlier, or the filmmakers needed to do a better job of making sure it provided enough of a jolt to make the previous, largely generic 85 minutes worth the effort. As it stands, Protector's twist ending feels adrift in a movie that's not compelling enough to support it.

Emerald Fennell's film is merely telling a shallow story about two people overcoming all obstacles to fall in love — not necessarily awful on paper, but it's an adaptation that feels like a 14-year-old skimmed the book and jumped to her own conclusions without any true understanding of the novel.

This Strangers trilogy was an ambitious concept that quickly became a disastrous failure that completely misunderstood this series to begin with. Even after all this build-up, this final chapter fizzles out to an underwhelming conclusion of a journey that wasn’t worth taking to begin with.

With bad direction, terrible acting, and a world that has no weight behind it (especially since most of it was clearly made in a computer), this isn’t the way to bring Silent Hill 2 to the big screen. This powerful survival horror story has been turned into an ugly, laughable adaptation that proves that maybe we should’ve never gone back to Silent Hill.

Although the concept of making a thriller that examines somnambulism seems quite captivating, Sleepwalker doesn't effectively incorporate this complex disorder into its premise, resulting in a puzzling story about a woman going on a spiral without any healing prospect.

At the center of this mess sits a set of performances that are, beyond some writing oddities, pretty good.

It's flat characters on an unfinished stage, rehearsing a bad script, with no weight behind any of the odd choices and filming techniques. It wants to be a movie, but it doesn't know how. Just stay on your horse and ride past this one.

The Strangers: Chapter 2 is a true disaster, one of the worst horror films of the year, and it’s a damn shame this is what this franchise has come to.

Glenrothan is cloying at times, but more often, irritating in its presentation of a story we’ve seen so many times before, done poorly.

It’s a totally pointless pursuit that has no interest in interrogating why A Serbian Film came into existence, only how. An 80-minute behind-the-scenes promotional featurette for a film that, even after an entire documentary devoted to defending its existence, still feels completely meaningless.

Eddie Murphy's The Pickup is a dull and lifeless action-comedy that provides neither laughs nor thrills.

By the time the credits roll, Diciannove doesn't give the viewer enough food for thought.

A messy, confusing and thoroughly unengaging experiment, with the kernel of a good idea underneath.

Ultimately, Skillhouse boils down to a bunch of stuff that just happens to characters we don't care about, who make choices that don't make sense for reasons that aren't well grounded, in a place that's poorly shot, in order to say things that have been better said elsewhere.

Outside of a few creepy images, The Ritual is not even remotely scary.

Sneaks is borderline unwatchable.

The problem is that these types of films feel lazy and could do so much more with their concepts, and while Screamboat tries to combat that with tame references, winks at the audience, and absurd violence, it can’t keep itself afloat.

There’s a fascinating movie to be made about this period and these characters, but Ott's telling is simply not up to the task.

For all the faults O'Dessa has, it's clearly a film made with an abundance of passion and creativity. It's a gender-swapped, punk rock, post-apocalyptic reinvention of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It's also a movie that largely doesn't work and trips over its own ambition.

If you have been eagerly looking for a mash-up of Parasite and Fresh that fundamentally misunderstands why both films resonated with audiences, by catering to the deeply ingrained xenophobia of the upper class, then Delicious is the film for you.

In the Lost Lands could have been an exciting story about witches and werewolves in the post-apocalyptic world, but instead, it's more lifeless than the green-screen backgrounds that consume its runtime.

It's an oddly cobbled-together hodgepodge of ideas and little real inspiration that could have graduated to fun schlock with a little more love.

Set to be released alongside an accompanying documentary and book, this film feels more like a way to peddle Christianity under the guise of good faith, made worse by confusing creative choices and a painful lack of self-awareness.

It's a film that largely rests on an edifice of clichés, contrivances, and ungrounded choices, needing greater development to actually land.

It's hard to find any redeeming qualities in Last Days. Its pacing and multiple storylines, not to mention jumping back and forth in time, only work to make the viewer disoriented when it comes to bonding with a character who already does not feel that sympathetic.

Unable to make his ideal documentary about the Zodiac Killer due to a rights issue, Shackleton breaks down the movie he might have made in painful detail that reveals a shocking lack of self-awareness, systematically dismantling the genre without an ounce of introspection.

Alarum is a genuine disappointment, putting a set of strong performers (who do quite well in action-heavy projects) in a situation that could produce memorable, excellent action scenes. It needs extra shine in the script and a stronger directorial vision to do so, which essentially damns the film to action thriller purgatory.

Instead of exploring a twisted version of a magical realm, this pseudo-trip to Neverland keeps things stuck in the real world that the kids of these stories are usually trying to escape.

Despite one electric scene that makes the rest of the film feel more risible, Modi, Three Days on the Wing of Madness is a plodding, pretentious mess that is easily one of the worst productions of the year.

With a lack of any undersea horror action, off-kilter characterization punctuated by poor acting, and a script that is taking itself way more seriously than it has any right to, there’s no enjoyment to be taken from this shameless attempt to capitalize on a lucrative IP.

Kraven the Hunter's bland storytelling, subpar acting, and staggering technical issues are proof that the Spider-Man IP needs to be protected before it becomes an endangered species.

Overall, the biggest takeaway that I had while watching Mary is that it was a missed opportunity. A missed opportunity to give the mother of Jesus more development than we've seen in prior depictions of the Nativity story, and a missed opportunity to truly show the cruelty of Herod's actions as a ruler.

A solid performance from Jason Patric does give the film a little bit of extra mileage, but weak action and an utter waste of Sylvester Stallone's talents as both an actor and action star bog the film down in too many issues to count.

While the film does make an admirable effort to focus on Neeson's action hero as a true character rather than a mere blunt instrument for fight scenes, but thanks to an overly cliché screenplay, the movie will likely be another forgettable action film in Neeson's filmography.

Krazy House is "krazy" for all the wrong reasons.

Between picture-in-picture viewers, pop-up ads, reality posing as unreality, and a seconds-long attention span, Baby Invasion is a Reddit thread vision board with little to offer.

What was once considered revolutionary or sharp commentary is now so passé and outdated that it makes the film feel like an ancient relic — a bad one.

At a different time, I might have been more inclined to entertain Reijn's proposition seriously. But it's just her luck that the great Catherine Breillat, who has devoted her illustrious career to investigating these taboos, dropped a far superior film on the same subject matter, Last Summer, just a few months prior, beating Reijn to the finish line.

It’s non-stop drama, and the way the story plays out, it’s like Vance took every crazy episode from his life and played them back-to-back without pausing for a single pleasant memory or character defined beyond a single dimension.

The dialogue is cringy even by Universal Soldier sequel standards, performances more wooden than Pinocchio, and combat showpieces are a shambles of digital effects that spike not even a tingle of bruised and bloodied excitement.

The movie might be called Jackpot!, but no one is leaving this one a winner.

The characters somehow behave both flatly and erratically, driving a cliché plot that manages to be both overly simplistic and confusing. Take care of your skin — and sanity — by sitting this one out.

The Beast Within, a human tragedy awkwardly disguised in wolf's clothing, stumbles badly.

At the end of it all, it’s unclear if Lumina is anti-aliens, anti-government, or just anti-cinema. If you go into this one expecting genuine thrills and a compelling alien abduction story, you will likely leave the theater confused, disappointed, and wishing you’d spent the past two hours doing … quite literally anything else.

Parthenope is a decades-spanning slice-of-life movie that has no interest in diving into the complexities of its protagonist.

Despite its best efforts, Space Cadet never reaches its potential as a comedy or an aspirational tale. Instead, the movie gets lost in the realm of forgettable, lukewarm rom-coms, having lofty aspirations but, unlike its lead character, remaining firmly on the ground.

Please don’t misinterpret this scathing review as an encouraging push to check out what could be a ridiculously flawed watch with friends. Agent Recon is unwatchable and doesn’t deserve your patronage.

In Trigger Warning, there's nowhere for Alba to go — no notable battles to fight, nor an interesting war to win. And what we're left with is just another disposable action movie, dropped indiscriminately on a streaming service to sit among all the others.

The creatively (and morally) bankrupt and downright offensive biopic glosses over Amy Winehouse’s complicated, and ultimately, tragic life to shine a more flattering light on her father and ex-husband, distorting the real-life events in her life to tell its own narrative.

It isn’t the worst shark movie out there, but that’s not saying much. By the time we get to the “big final confrontation,” it loses a handle on what it was going for.

Breathe is empty bluster and nothing more. It’s like a vacuum of where a movie should be, sucking all the air out of the room until nothing is left.

Not only does neither part of Rebel Moon work, but The Scargiver is such a downgrade that it could prove difficult for the franchise to bounce back for more.

Blackout is a werewolf movie with plenty of passion behind it that still doesn't pack the punch it needs to.

Where the original remains a work of art that is as entertaining as it is well-made, this remake proves to be nothing more than an empty and thunderously stupid approximation of an action film. Neither thrilling nor tense, it's simply dead on arrival.

Imaginary is a mess of a horror film, with poor narrative choices, obvious twists, and clichéd characters.

Amelia's Children is a horror film that has moments of unintentional humor, but is ultimately dull rather than some sort of clever dark comedy.

With vaguely established threats and storylines, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate is the movie equivalent of meeting a friend you missed for many years only to realize that the encounter didn’t really need to happen.

Ultimately, History of Evil lacks the teeth and the scares to be a truly effective horror movie, acting more as a mildly infuriating thriller.

Madame Web wastes a talented cast on a superhero movie shockingly devoid of tangible humanity.

It certainly is a throwback, but it not only stops far short of being a comedy touchdown, it barely feels like it brings anything new to the field.

At the end of the journey, Lift ends up as a double disappointment. It doesn’t work as a comedy, it doesn’t work as an action film, and its claim to the heist movie subgenre is tenuous at best.

Night Swim is a missed opportunity of epic proportions, and it’s yet another in a streak of Blumhouse projects failing to bring anything new to the horror genre.

For being based on such a memorable story, it's incredible how forgettable The Boys in the Boat is. Clooney's direction is so empty and the writing so trite that it leaves the committed cast stranded out on the water with nowhere meaningful to go.

There's a sweetness buried deep inside The Family Plan, but it gets completely smothered beneath all the jarring and poorly cut action and weird subplots that lead nowhere. Outside a few chuckles and a likable cast, there's nothing that makes it stand out.

What a shame even a master filmmaker like John Woo couldn’t at least partially liven up a derivative piece of action cinema like Silent Night.

While Ridley gives her all to a more thoughtful and nuanced performance, The Marsh King's Daughter remains a film on a directionless journey to nowhere. Even with the commitment of its lead, it just gets lost in the woods before falling flat on its face.

Freelance, like Cena’s Mason, wants to be something more, but maybe it should’ve settled for something a little more simplistic and straightforward and found the joy in that.

There are moments where it feels like it could have become a more gleefully mean-spirited horror ride by really sinking its teeth into the story and actually biting down, but it remains hamstrung by the rating as well as a lack of creativity.

You can tell that everybody on the set of Old Dads was having an absolute blast making this movie. It's just a shame that the end product feels so directionless and bland. The attempts to be offensive fail, the emotional beats are never effective, and despite a handful of good laughs and amusing cameos, it's never that funny.

This review isn’t to say Winner is a “good or bad” person or that her actions were “good or bad.” This review is to say that the movie about Winner and her case is bad.c

All the emotional beats from start to finish are just completely unearned — it's as if every foundational aspect of a good horror story has been washed away, too.

The occasional moment of machine gun motorcycle jousting aside, it is a largely dull and dreary experience that never feels like it is ever anything more than a hollow mimicry of far better action works of the past.

There's an interesting story in here, and a far better Keaton performance within it too, but it is the kind of thriller that lacks the tension and excitement that it needed.

In North Star’s attempt to be sincere and heartfelt, everything feels weirdly prosaic and unduly sentimental. It all makes for an immensely forgettable film.

Without the foundation of solid writing for Pine to direct from, everything ends up being lackluster and takes away from that aspect, no matter how strong the cast is and how cartoonish the situations are.

Rather than come away feeling like you’ve watched something truly daring or inventive, it all feels derivative. It is a film that is too mundane to even get mad at.

Boy Kills World comes across as obnoxious, and the viewer already feels exhausted within the first 15 minutes of the film. It's as if the creative team wanted to make a cult movie but completely forgot cult movies have to be fun.

Even as Butterfield continues to try to bring something resembling gravitas towards the end of the film, it all just peters out. No matter how many quick cuts and bursts of sound it throws at you, everything it goes for falls flat on its back.

It is mostly a drag with some potentially sharper small details never coming together to outweigh the dullness at its core. For those who may come to the film wanting to understand more of who Golda was and her role in history via a well-written character study, they’ll only end up departing it with all of those questions still lingering.

The core concept of Bride versus Groomsmen could have led to an exciting action flick, yet when not even the action scenes work as they should, it’s hard to defend Til Death Do Us Part.

It is the worst thing an action film can possibly be: forgettable.

Director David Jařab fails to capture the same enthralling energy of Conrad's original story, resulting in an experimental film that too often misses the mark.

It feels stuck in a strange, bland limbo, unsure of what it wants to lean into and truly be. For a movie all about identities, this film lacks one.

None of the action scenes have any passion to them and, even worse, they can feel downright contrived. That it then pretends to have something more to say strains credulity.

The problem just keeps coming back to Harlow. Not only is he just out of his depth in hitting the necessary comedic notes, but the hollowness of his performance also becomes impossible to overlook when his character goes through a rough patch and must find redemption.

It can be said the film does indeed provide a full summary of Foreman’s recounting of the major events in his life where he comes out looking pretty great, but that hardly makes for a compelling work of cinema.

The film tries to pack in so much subplot and religious context that it leaves no time to build up a scare properly. The only people who would actually be scared by this movie are about five years too young to legally see it.

Paint is an odd attempt to make a comedy while also doing the least amount to make that comedy actually funny.

Though there are movies that are worse than 65, it is part of a select few that manage to utterly and completely squander their own potential.

The cast as a whole never gels together like you'd want in a big team-based spy film like this, maybe because they spend so much time in separate locations talking to each other through earpieces.

As well-intentioned as the new Children of the Corn might be, it misses the mark by mixing a confusing ecological message with bland scares, forgetting what makes King’s story so enticing in the first place.

What could've been a halfway decent dumb idea becomes a full-on nightmare of bad choices and terrible filmmaking.

I hope that someone else decides to tell the story of Kim's Video again one day, because Kim's Video by Redmon and Sabin is incomplete, and a little too self-obsessed to do such an interesting story justice.

The humor ultimately feels lazy, and while the original film has had some mighty staying power, this new installment feels dead on arrival.

The documentary doesn’t seem interested in expanding the conversation, and getting to the roots of modern society’s issues.

There's really nothing here that should interest anyone outside of Cage and Western completionists. The Old Way just feels too formulaic to leave any sort of impact.