It's like 90 minutes of teasing foreplay, and then, just when it's about to get really good, your partner rolls over and goes to sleep.

Dude, your movie sucks.

Like its title implies, Chocolat tastes good in the moment but leaves behind little nutritional substance.

It's a huge, bloated, hulking movie.

This dragon, sadly, is DOA.

Morse and Caruso provide better reasons to see this film than do Ryan and Crowe.

A masterful synthesis of generic conventions and creative imagination, a sublime amalgam of some of the best tendencies and talent our times have to offer.

An indie grab bag.

Spotlessly dull.

Shyamalan's premise is a lulu, to be sure, but if you can manage that precious, tentative suspension of disbelief, you'll find Unbreakable a rewarding meditation on the nature of heroes, both comic book and otherwise.

A stunningly impassioned and articulate study of a writer's life and the censorial demons that can strangle that voice.

It's a film so filled with sex and violence that many critics have derided it as nothing short of hardcore porn.

It's the opposite of "The Opposite of Sex," a meditation on multiple truths, and the lies that sometimes lie in between.

Not likely to win any hearts or minds this holiday season, La Bûche finally scores points by virtue of its inoffensiveness: Relax, pour a cuppa nog, and watch somebody else muck up the holidays for once.

Scores its ultimate coup de grace though its interviews. Macdonald has lined up an amazing collection of interviewees.

If you're a parent, you could do a heck of a lot worse than taking the spawn off to catch Rugrats in Paris and if you're a kid, well, you probably already knew that anyway.

It's mediocrity at its most unremarkable.

Not likely to become any landmark achievement, yet it's sure to earn a berth among the perennial Christmas film classics.

The barrage of information in Rebels is at times wearying; indeed many of the speakers look somewhat battle-weary, but there's clearly still a holy fire burning deep within their now-hooded eyes.

The lengthiest foot chase in film history.

I loved this movie. Or perhaps I should say the 15-year-old boy in me -- the dreamy, disaffected misfit with his head in the stars and a stack of Bantam sci-fi paperbacks as his sole defense against small-town boredom -- loved it.

Strives to be an inspirational depth charge, but its power is consistently waylaid by some genuinely hokey dialogue and situations.

The film's rhythm is jerky, bouncing all around the place and making some of the setups feel unnecessary.

Writer/director Lonergan succeeds at capturing eloquently the disappointments of growing up and growing old. But he isn't always successful at reining in the schmaltz.

Stunning camera shots by ace Michael Ballhaus are lovely to look at, and the performances are all excellent.

A simply flat-out fun film.

Adults may have a hard time swallowing this toothless tale of PG-rated bloodsuckers, but kids may relate better to its lessons.

Ghobadi works squarely in the neorealist tradition of countrymen like former mentor Abbas Kiarostami, using nonprofessional actors and documentary technique to tell small, spare stories of the human condition through the eyes of children.