Sex and the City 2 isn't a feature film as much as it is consumer porn. The audience is not asked to relate to the characters, or at least what we remember of them, as much as to their shoes, their bags, their apartments, their couture, their stuff.

It's bigger and louder and, if not longer (checking in at a mere two hours and 28 minutes), certainly stupider than ever before.

Simply put, it's a mess.

At first, it’s fun and shiny, then you’re left with a crumpled mess on the floor.

Mostly harmless, but the largely joyless exercise is a letdown after getting a glimpse of a re-energized Murphy in "Tower Heist."

Dolittle’s animals are easier to relate to, with their humanlike self-esteem and family issues, than the film’s central characters.

What grates is the lack of attention to details. There is a grating sloppiness to much of The Choice, both narratively and stylistically.

Strangely, almost everyone must have been in the middle of some weird creative dry spell. Some stories are pretentious, some are annoyingly whimsical and some are just out-and-out obnoxious.

It strains both credulity and patience in its attempt to be different, and it leaves you feeling creeped out as well.

Olivier Megaton (he helmed "Taken 2") starts things off at a sluggish pace and never picks up speed. Even the action scenes, which often are filmed in jittery fashion, don't generate thrills.

He (D'Souza) reaffirms many of the complaints against Obama, and when he sticks to the facts is much more persuasive.

Innocence is a misguided little horror film, reminiscent of one of those cheesy '70s made-for-TV movies that kind of, sort of seem scary when you're 9 but are just dopey at any other age.

Elvis Presley made some bad movies, but let's give the King his due: He never made anything as outright awful as The Identical.

Despite competent performances all around, you never feel much chemistry between the actors.

Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return lacks any sense of magic.

It's an unpleasant way to pass a couple summer hours.

It just feels desperate.

A by-the-numbers thriller that wouldn’t even have made for a particularly good hourlong episode of a weekly crime procedural, never mind an honest-to-God feature-length movie.

The sequel's target audience may be too young to realize that the best punch lines are long past their expiration date, but at least they're learning the idea of the catchphrase. They can hear the exclamation points.

Maybe your kids will insist that you see Furry Vengeance. Then again, wouldn't this be the perfect time to let them test their independence and sit through it alone? Otherwise, good luck. You have my condolences.

This wildly distasteful premise is meant to be cute and enlightening, like a modern Frank Capra flick, but this is hardly "It's a Wonderful Life." Instead, the movie keeps tripping over itself.

The Snowman is like if aliens studied humanity and tried to make their own movie in an attempt to communicate with us. This simulacrum contains all the requisite pieces of a movie, but humanity got lost in translation.

The Cobbler definitely won't please the audience for Sandler's mainstream blockbusters, and it's unlikely to win him new fans among the indie intelligentsia, either.

As formula films go, The Bounty Hunter is more enjoyable than most, even if it packs in as many cliches as any.

Everyone here has been better, and funnier, in other things. This is a lazy story, wholly dependent upon the likability of its cast which, while considerable, isn’t enough to make it worth the trouble.

There is no substance, legal or otherwise, that can make this tolerable.

It is the cinematic equivalent of a greeting card: Both the sentiment and the laughs are plentiful, cheap and forgettable.

The whole thing is a total bore; even the supporting players aren’t motivated enough to attract attention. That’s good news for Lutz; he can’t be blamed for torpedoing the project, because everyone is doing subpar work here.